I’d like to introduce everybody to Kitchen Ammon. He loves talking super low and losing his weed box. He hates beer fridges and pee patches. He’s hard to get used to.
As for the show, there’s lots of TV (GLOW, Twin Peaks, Preacher, I’m Dying Up Here, Veep, Silicon Valley, Fargo, Better Call Saul) to talk about and even more movies to poop on (AFTERMATH, BAD BATCH, DESPICABLE ME 3, OKJA, THE GIRL WITH ALL THE GIFTS, BABY DRIVER).
Google Voice makes us proclaim our Mount Rushmore of actors from the last 25 years.
0:02:44-Law, Alyx, and…Ammon Gilbert? Yup Yup! He’s not quitting. Fuck. Technical difficulties. Skype is being a bitch. Better Call Binge! Alyx gives the deets on how to support this fine little project. First episode gets discussed. Lil’ bit of Lawlapalooza and Seattlepalooza discussion. New Ammon Sounder! High Life talks about his recording situation at the moment. Jack drop. New bit (45:52, Ammon).
0:52:18-GOOGLE VOICE. The boys discuss the FRUK video that Law and Alyx were a part of.
1:41:12-TV ROUND UP. Ammon is watching GLOW. He also gives his thoughts on Twin Peaks, Better Call Saul and Fargo. Law realizes that Silicon Valley and Veep ended this past week, not two weeks ago or whatever. Shut up. Preacher is back. Blood Drive, Big Brother, Game of Thrones, I’m Dying Up Here. Alyx is trying to work through Handmaid’s Tale and House of Cards. Mrs. Alyx is watching The Sopranos. Alyx gives his rating on GLOW. Why has Alyx never mentioned Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt? Stop talking about Alyx already! Sounder war.
2:09:12-WHAT DID YOU WATCH THIS WEEK? Ammon has a grand idea to make drunk sounders (not segments, 2:11:30)
Ammon watched Aftermath and the Bad Batch (ahhhh ahhhhh). Jim Law checked out The Girl with all The Gifts, Despicable Me 3, Okja, and Baby Driver (which Alyx weighs in on too). Law and Alyx rank the films of Edgar Wright.
Lots of words from our faceholes so sit back and soak it in as Law, Ancira, and Falvey get to the bottom of a bunch of television and movie issues to help you sleep better.
TV Round-Up bitch slaps Fargo, Better Call Saul, GLOW, Handmaid’s Tale, Silicon Valley, VEEP, The Mist, F is for Family, House of Cards, and Twin Peaks.
What Did You Watch teabags AFTERMATH, THE UNTOUCHABLES, CARS 3, ROUGH NIGHT, POWER RANGERS, and GIMMIE DANGER.
Google Voice sparks conversation about what commentaries we would do if we existed in the 80s, difficult scenes to get through, and other stuff my hangover won’t let come to me.
0:00:00-Starting this chip.
0:01:17-Jack, Law, Alyx. Awwww yes. Chip drunk sounders because recording starting late, so it’s gonna be a rapid show. Ammon? What’s the deal? He did not deliver on the tiny house dream. Lawlapalooza wrap up show highlighted. I’m (Logan) called out. Sorry Jack. Tiny House Sounder. Site stuff.
0:23:21-GOOGLE VOICE
1:28:19-TV ROUND UP. Fargo and Better Call Saul ended their respective seasons. Where is everybody at with Handmaid’s Tale? Jack is still keeping tabs on Twin Peaks and also started House of Cards. Alyx is checking out F is for Family. Master of None Season 2. Law started Glow and rips into The Mist. Veep and Silicon Valley.
2:00:08-WHAT DID YOU WATCH? Alyx starts with this only one: Aftermath. Valley rewatched The Untouchables (1:32:52 for that drop, Alyx) and checked out an Iggy Pop documentary called Gimme Danger. Law watched Cars 3, Rough Night, Power Rangers. The boys talk Daniel Day Lewis’ retirement and what actors they would possibly be bummed about leaving the spotlight. Law briefly mentions I’m Dying Up Here.
Another day, another loyalty test failed. Where do we hire these guys? I still love their guts. Alien Covenant gets full spoiler treatment, Snatched gets punched in the dick, and American Gods gets super gay. Timestamp Guy knows what I’m talking about…..
0:02:26-Kupka is here. Law is here. Falvey is here. What a trio. What’s going on with Smash? Did Smash have a crash? In your face, Dr. Seuss. Alien: Covenant will be spoiled the fuck out of later so keep your guard up. Spoiler Sounder will be played beforehand so calm your tits, we will warn you. Ammon’s podcasting future is seriously in question. Loyalty test given by Law.
0:24:29-TV ROUND UP. Kupka explains why he doesn’t watch Fargo at the current moment. The show is discussed further by the other co-hosts. Falvey tries out American Gods again. Law delivers an AG spoiler but for reasons Jack needs to know. How’s Better Call Saul going? Special Patreon episode with Falvey and Moreno (and another host) is happening soon. Johnny Cakes says little beyond that. Has Kupka tapped into Brockmire? Law checked out The Keepers on Netflix. He fifes all over The Handmaid’s Tale. Veep, Silicon Valley, Archer, Rick and Morty, Arrested Development, The Leftovers (fucking starving right now), and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
2:29:30-WHAT DID YOU WATCH? J. Valley is put on the growing list of folks that watched L.A. 92. Kupka watched The Space Between Us and Joe Cocker: Mad Dog with Soul. More like Joe Cock(suck)er, amiriteguys?
——————————————
We take a moment to talk about Chris Cornell. What an incredibly talented artist that left the Earth too soon. RIP.
———————————
Law did get to see Snatched over the May Two Four weekend (still not a thing). Alien: Covenant is the biggie, and the boys leave nothing behind. If you haven’t seen it, skip over this. If you don’t give two shits about hearing everything, then by all means, proceed forward. This dissection steers the rest of the show all the way to the end.
Sounder Wars are a serious thing around here. Garrett’s rating scale is uncovered. Keen gives us a quiz on ourselves. Ammon discovers the internet. Jax calls in. Another .5 argument. Other stuff. Timestamp guy?
0:00:00-Ammon’s on time. How about that, ya babadicks?
0:02:17-Law, MorenAlyx, and Ammon are here for your pleasure. Gross. The technology issues Ammon have are fucking stupid. So much noise. Cocksuckers-they are talked about. Somebody special was supposed to be on. But he’s not here. So fuck him. The usu/youzhe (short for usual) cast roundup. How’s Moreno doing with those Alien movies? Garret’s review system is dissected and holy shit, it’s a mind blowing revelation. What the fuck is May Two Four Weekend? New shit on the site. One particular Google Voice by Alex Keen is going to test the OG3. Holy shitballs.
0:22:37-FUHOOGLE VOICE. The test prep/voicemail is around the 47 minute mark. That’s the last (laahhhhst) cawl of the segment, but there’s follow up bullshit about more tests, Lawlapalooza, and sounders.
1:18:03-SASS ARGUMENTS. Yes. Then there’s a non Sass argument right after. Jesus.
1:30:07-RECENTLY CALLED IN GOOGLE VOICE.
1:37:40-TV ROUND UP. Brockmire, Brocksucker. Anyway, Moreno watched the first episode of that shit, bending to Law’s will. Veep. Silicon Valley. Fargo. Better Saul Call. The Leftovers. American Gods. Law dropped the ball on The Handmaid’s Tale, missed it last week. What a fuckhole.
2:00:05-Phone call with Jax. Ammon does his drunk dream casting.
2:21:16-MOVIE HOMEWORK: 50/50
2:25:10-WHAT DID YOU WATCH? Sounder War to start because yes. Law’s a slacker, didn’t watch shit. Moreno revisited Prometheus and checked out L.A. 92. Ammon saw Ghost in the Shell, and took his a-hole children to see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.
Nate P, laser wars, fart sounds, and an early GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 review. If that doesn’t sound like the greatest BingeCast of all time I got nothing for you here.
Come inside to hear Nate’s long lost first call to the show, his thoughts on the greatest British movies and television shows, and the exclusive first appearance of his daughter on a podcast.
Also, Law and Moreno have a laser war that goes on for way too long and somehow evolves into fart sounds that make Law giggle uncontrollably in the background for the last hour of the show.
We also review a dozen movies, lots of television, and get drunk on some brilliant Google Voice.
Where Timestamp Guy with all the details I forgot?
0:04:20-Law, Moreno, and that Kurt Russell hater across the pond, Nate P. Ammon is off pitching a tent. Not sexual. Literal as it can be. How did Nathaniel discover Binge Media? There’s also the origin story of Nate’s initial GV, but was it his actual first call? Whaaaaa? Law and Moreno track down the Lohhhst (lost) voicemail like Indiana fucking Jones. Nate is asked about British movies and the telly. Peterson can’t wait to try some of that deep duhish pizza in Chicago. Babadish.
0:48:28-TV ROUND UP. Nate just finished that Leah Remini Scientology show, along with The Trip to Spain (what the fuck?) and Happy Valley. Moreno and Law talk Better Call Saul and Fargo. Law brings up Brockmire, Silicon Valley (which Nate jumps in for), Veep, and the Roseanne revival (it’s a thing). Laugh tracks and shit. Team Stephen Merchant or Team Ricky Gervais?
2:00:52-GOOGLE VOICE. Nate imitates Ammon, starts it off right. LASERS HOLY SHIT.
2:30:53-I love this new sounder. Lawlapalooza stuff. More sound effects.
2:41:14-MOVIE HOMEWORK: Joe vs. the Volcano. More lasers.
3:07:00-WHAT DID YOU WATCH? Moreno watched some Alien movies. He also saw Get Out. Law trucks through Avatar, Apollo 13, Fish Tank, American Honey, Colossal, The Fate of the Furious, Life, and Edge of Seventeen. Nate brings his A game and reviews Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.
Where’s Ammon? We wait. Ammon shows up. We’re drunk. This is our Saturday night. We’ve come to accept this as a thing. You’re a thing.
TV is starting to heat up which brings new life to TV Round-Up. Most of the movies we review this week are horrible. Logan reviews of Logan save the day. Speaking of Logan, where dat timestamp at, son. Boom.
0:00:00- Hey.
0:01:57-Law and Moreno. Soundboard Ammon. That’s good enough. New Waiting for Ammon is hitting Patreon shortly. Or it’s already there. It probably is. Patreon has a ton of exclusive shit that you probably want to get in on. Independence Day 2 commentary maybe? Will Bill Pullman suck his own dick in that movie?
Come on Bill, do it for the world!! Battleship Mushroom trip revisited. Alien Retrospectives (Podcast Round Up) are going to be the shit. Indy is done. How does AlyMore feel about the Alien flicks without letting out too much? Why doesn’t that Mexican asshole get hard for movie releases anymore?
0:38:29- GOOGLE VOICE. New Law drop within. 25 hours to get Ammon online. Jesus fuck.
1:12:52-TV ROUND UP. Ammon and Moreno yell at Law for his “filler” opinion. Speaking of which, Better Call Saul is up first, followed by Fargo. Law began The Leftovers Season 3. Veep has returned. Moreno is keeping tabs on John Oliver. Survivor has to be discussed, I guess. But some big shit did go down. Law watched a Casey Anthony documentary.
2:08:03-MOVIE HOMEWORK: Dirty Work
2:33:30-WHAT DID YOU WATCH? Ammon begins the segment with The Bye Bye Man and The Great Wall. Then, prepare your earholes for a Logan review of Logan, YA FUCKING DICKS!! R Rated superhero movies should be a thing. Moreno watched Alien and Aliens.
THAT’S IT YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKERS! I’M GOING TO HAVE A FUCKING REDD’S. GODDAMNIT.
Everybody has been busy giving their highlights of the year (except Kupka – what the fuck was that?) and the good thing about going last is that you get to cheat off everybody else and say “I liked that shit too.” But I’ll try not to do that because a) I’m a professional, and b) I forget most of what they wrote and don’t feel like clicking my mouse a couple times to find out. Here goes – my favorite things of 2016
BOOKS
I fell away from reviewing books on the BingeCast this year partly because I’m a drunk idiot and always forget, and partly because I went on a tear this year, sometimes finishing two books a week, and couldn’t keep up with myself. Here’s a couple that come to mind as I wrap the year up. IN THE DARKNESS, THAT’S WHERE I’LL KNOW YOU: THE COMPLETE BLACK ROOM STORY by Luke Smithered in a brilliant little novel about a dude that wakes up inside a strange woman’s head. That’s all I can give without ruining the rest. CRITICAL FAILURES is a series of books by Robert Bevan in which a group of friends get thrust into their role playing game called Caverns & Creatures (not unlike Dungeons & Dragons). It’s a fun read filled with shit talking, farts, and dick jokes a plenty. The best audiobook I listened to by far this year though was ALIEN: OUT OF THE SHADOWS by Tim Lebbon. I can’t remember who recommended this to me on Facebook but I can’t thank them enough. The audio version is a full budget presentation with sound effects and entire cast. The story plays as an alternate sequel to the original ALIEN film (but officially says it takes place between ALIEN and ALIENS) and finds Ripley waking up aboard a mining ship in deep space. Said mining ship finds a shit load of Xenomorphs. It takes a lot for me to give a book credit that is basically going head-to-head with the greatest sequel ever made in my opinion so give it a shot and see what you think.
VIDEO GAMES
I’m pretty sure I played one actual video game this year. That’s okay because I absolutely dominated it with my boy, Pete MC. This year at Lawlapalooza in Chicago we met up with Chad D, Chad C, Nick, and Creepy 209. Add Moreno, Pete, myself, and lots of lovely wives and we lived through the greatest meet-up yet. At some point we stumbled into a bar/arcade and started talking shit. After a few rounds of Ninja Turtles, getting my ass handed to me on Donkey Kong, and a few shots of pure death, Pete and I settled into our spot on NBA JAM and started kicking everybody’s assholes all over the walls. That’s right, the walls were painted in assholes. I’m retired from gaming for now, a champion, a hero, a complete prick.
ANIMATED FILMS
As a whole, the animated genre is in it’s golden age. No longer is it just Pixar followed by everybody else. KUBO AND THE TWO STRINGS is the biggest surprise on my list as I absolutely loved (almost) every second of it. Bundle that with the likes of ZOOTOPIA, FINDING DORY, MOANA, TROLLS, STORKS, and Pixar’s short film, BORROWED TIME, and you have one hell of a list. There were some clunkers too (THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS, ANGRY BIRDS, SAUSAGE PARTY) but those are easily outweighed by some brilliant films.
VADER
As I write this I’m gearing up for an all out podcast war with some of the other asshats from this site where we’ll argue about the importance, quality, and overall necessity of ROGUE ONE. Whatever the outcome of that conversation, there is one fact that I will not back down from – when Vader lights up his saber in the pitch black hallway after a few seconds of just his breathing is the single greatest shot in the history of STAR WARS cinema. What immediately follows is the best representation of the big bad we’re ever going to get on screen. Remember how excited we all were when we got to see Yoda kick ass in ATTACK OF THE CLONES? And how stupid it turned out to be? The Vader equivalent is anything but stupid – it’s glorious.
TV
There’s lots of good and bad in the television I watched this year, sometimes within the same series. STRANGER THINGS was good but failed to capture me the way it did countless others. THE WALKING DEAD had a great half hour of the premiere episode and then literally shit the bed every other second of screen time in what I consider to be one of the worst seasons of television I’ve ever watch throughout. SOUTH PARK started off on fire but felt like it went on a tad too long and lost some steam with me by the end. AMERICAN HORROR STORY pulled off the impossible by my standards by having me tap out mid-season and then having me tap back in before the end of the season (this is 100% Ammon’s fault and he’s an asshole). CHANNEL ZERO was the horror show I’ve been looking for, and even if it didn’t nail the landing, there were enough creepy moments to last a lifetime. VEEP was incredible from start to finish this year, leaving me wonder how they can ever top what they pulled off. I welcomed back BLACK MIRROR with open arms and was not disappointed. There’s an argument here that this show was pound-for-pound the most entertaining thing (movie or TV show) I watched this year. Some new shows caught my eye too – HORACE AND PETE was emotional, funny, and incredibly performed. ATLANTA was hilarious, all too real, and original. And DIVORCE was a triumphant comeback for Sarah Jessica Parker to HBO. The runs we were treated to by John Oliver on LAST WEEK TONIGHT and Samantha Bee on FULL FRONTAL might never be matched as they fell face first into a political shitstorm for the ages. ASH VS. EVIL DEAD was simply the greatest this year. I’ve ranted and raved enough about it on the show and in my personal life so I can hear everybody saying “We get it!” Shut up and watch. And of course, the first fully un-spoilerable season of GAME OF THRONES grabbed me by the jaw from the first episode and never let me look away. I loved it all. Book purists can sit and pout all they want, this was fantastic television.
MOVIES
I’m not going to get into my top films of the year here as we like to record a BEST OF 2016 BingeCast for that type of shit, but I will talk about some of my favorite moments. Such as the fantasy prom scene from SING STREET. This shit plays to my inner musical fan like a perfectly beat drum. I love random choreographed dance scenes in films. Don’t know why, just do. The fight between all the heroes in CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR was as epic as they could make it. Sure nobody died, but we got to see Spider-Man hanging with his new friends and Ant-Man own almost every second of screen time he has. DON’T BREATHE made me gag and almost throw up at work, DEADPOOL made me laugh harder than I have in years, and HACKSAW RIDGE had one of the most unrelenting war scenes of all time and almost made me press pause to catch my breath. Twice. I got a cool-as-fuck Denzel in THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, a scary as all hell John Goodman in 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE, and a hot-as-shit Blake Lively in, one of my biggest surprises of the year, THE SHALLOWS. I loved Kevin Costner in CRIMINAL, wanted to hang with Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling in THE NICE GUYS, and marveled at the subtle indifference of Amy Adams in ARRIVAL and NOCTURNAL ANIMALS. I can’t tell if she’s an amazing actress or not, but I like her.
I guess that’s it. Prepare yourself for lots of shit talking in the new year on the BingeCast and, as always, have a drink or two for me whenever you have one.
As if all our regular nonsense wasn’t enough, we’ve decided to throw in a commentary for BEVERLY HILLS COP throughout this week’s BingeCast because beer is tasty.
Google Voice is up first where Nate P. makes an unprecedented comeback, Bob A. Dick yells at people, Floyd is drunk as hell, and we all giggle too much.
The Beverly Hills Cop commentary kicks off and continues for the rest of the show as we lose our shit when we find out Mike, from Breaking Bad, is younger than Law in this movie, gaze in awe at how un-hot the leading lady is, and try to figure out what the entire cast is doing nowadays – other than being dead.
TV Round-Up has tales of The Night Of, Preacher, Veep, Silicon Valley, Ray Donovan, and Orange is the New Black.
What Did You Watch boasts of THE BFG, ZOOTOPIA, POPSTAR, and BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN.
The night comes to an end with THE KINGS OF SUMMER Movie Homework. Is that enough? What more do you want? Stop yelling.
Logan gets his ass to Chicago and sits in with Moreno, Kupka, and Law as they take a look at the week in film, television, books, and being cocksuckers. Fun game to play as you listen this week. I set the over-under on the amount of times Logan says “ultimately” at 12. Try to guess if he goes over or under. Here’s Logan’s live timestamp to prove he was there. I still don’t believe him.
0:00:00 I was drunk while live timestamping so this will be fun.
01:23:00-Moreno. Kupka. Logan? Yup, that higher voiced motherfucker is here too. Is that speaking in third person? Will Law get pissed? Fuck off Law. Don’t care. Does Kupka like the Binge Media page or not?
0:14:38-GOOGLE VOICE.
0:55:18-LITERALLY LITERARY. Logan talks Marvel: The Untold Story. Kupka chats about Lullaby by Chuck Pahlanik, and then Moreno discusses Survivor by the same author.
1:06:00-TV ROUND UP! Law and Logan fife over Game of Thrones. Law continues with The Night of. Kupka brings up Veep and Silicon Valley. Logan started watching Parks and Rec. Kupka goes on about Bob Ross because he’s going to record a Wake and Bake with Jack Valley.
1:42:36-WHAT DID YOU WATCH? Law and Logan discuss Finding Dory. Logan revisited Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Kupka checked out Lemmy, Central Intelligence, Band Called Death, and revisited The Matrix Trilogy along with with 10 Cloverfield Lane. Law saw Popstar, Vigilante Diaries, and Term Life. Demolition. I don’t know what happened after that. Fuck.