Jay, Jack, and Jim are back to analyze the latest offering from Game of Thrones. There’s tears, farts, and plenty more dick jokes in this episode so we try to class the joint up a bit. We fail miserably and get drunk. Ho de do!
The ball keeps rolling over at the BingeMedia offices as we play our own co-host Game of Thrones. This week it’s PJ the Intern that has to put up with Jack Valvey (yup, another name) and Law as they dissect the latest happenings around Westeros. There’s some hard hitting questions this episode – what do we need to happen before the series ends? Why don’t we hate the Lannisters as much any more? And, of course, real or fake?
Jack Valley and Law are joined by Art From Cali to dissect the latest happening over in the Game of Thrones. Where is Jon going? Did the Red Bitch really do what they think she did? Is that who we think it is? Did he just fart? Is that other dude really dead and will he fight his brother? Fuck Ollie. All this and more during one of our more focused commentaries of the season.
2016 has gotten off to a great start for me in terms of movies. I’m on a three-week streak of solid 8’s with Hail Caesar, Deadpool and The Witch all delivering solid movies to me. Thankful as I am for all three, they are linked by another, less than attractive trait. I am not sure if it has been some phenomenal bad luck or just poor planning but somehow I have been in some of the worst audiences I’ve ever experienced. While Hail Caesar was an expected older, more behaved crowd, Deadpool and The Witch were full of children who, frankly, should not have been there. As such, I present unto you five ways in which you can not be a dick when going to the movies.
Step 1: Snack Consideration
I am not now, nor have I ever been, a movie-snack guy. I like popcorn and candy just fine but when I go to see a film, whether it’s Children of Men or Captain America, I’m there to see the movie. I don’t like being distracted, fumbling around for my soda in the middle of critical moments, and I also think that for some films it is not how they were meant to be seen in the first place. There is nothing worse than an audience member foraging through a box of fucking Milk Duds in the middle of Tarantino dialogue. All I’m saying is this. If you are into movie snacks, then good on you, but be a little considerate of the other people in the theater who planned on watching a movie and not listening to you navigate a bag of popcorn.
Step 2: Turn Your Cell Phone On Airplane Mode
This is something I think a lot of people do already. However, there are some who do not and they need to calm it down. First of all, you paid to see this movie. So now you’re going to double your cost by also consuming electricity on your mobile device and, in essence, ignoring the movie you’re watching? To quote Louis CK, “You non-contributing-product-sponge-cunt”. Anyone still answering texts during a movie should be kicked out of the theater, no questions asked.
Step 3: Don’t Utilize Waiters During a Film
The newest trend at the movies seems to be waiters serving you as the movie is being played. Responsible adults, please drink up, but don’t keep calling the waiters back to pound seven beers during the flick. The people walking in front of the screen are distracting, you ordering your shit is distracting and, frankly, when you have to get up to take a piss because you have no self control, guess what, that’s also distracting. Stop it.
Step 4: Know The Movie You’re Going To See
So many people go to the theater at whatever time they want and ask the person at the kiosk “What’s good?”. What kind of person are you that you just happen upon a movie theater with no prior knowledge of anything out and just decide to see whatever this person you’ve never spoken to in your life recommends? Aren’t you just setting yourself up to be disappointed? Granted, some people are easily amused, and I get that, but more often than not I have seen people walk out of a theater and demand a refund due to dissatisfaction. Usually, those people are pretty shitty about the ordeal for little-to-no-reason. In the case of Deadpool, I had to deal with eight little Morenos sitting behind me detailing each and every FUCKING scene from the movie for the entire runtime. Not only were they not even legally able to attend a PG-13 film, they had no business being in the theater. I don’t give a fuck about a movie being vulgar, but it is on a parent to get a handle on that shit.
Step 5: Stop Seeing Shitty Movies
This one goes without saying. Are you sick of movies like Transformers going on until the end of time? Stop going to see them. It’s as simple as that. Aggrivated that Gary Marshall now has a Mother’s Day film coming out? Maybe you should have aided his previous holiday movies in turning a profit. People want to complain about how good/great movies get ignored but no one wants to admit that they are aiding the problem by sending their money to projects that don’t deserve it. Horace and Pete, Louis CK’s series distributed through his website, is pretty revolutionary in that he decided to just release it as he makes it and charge different amounts of money for the product. Regardless of the quality of the final product (which admittedly is high) I will buy every episode because I support someone trying to do something unique and different. I’m putting my money where my mouth is and supporting the artist. The next time you go to see a movie, make sure you’re doing the same if you want to see more good stuff.
There’s a lot of hatred in this week’s article, and honestly I feel like I’m preaching to the choir here at Binge Media, but these are things that more people need to realize when they go to see a movie. Stop being so self-centered and wake up! That’s it for this week, Binge On!