Ammon, Moreno, and Law are in good spirits this week as they step up their game, not only with new technology, but with a brand new game. We call it Pixar or Porn and it’s as bad as it sounds. We play a clip from a movie and Ammon has to determine whether it’s from a Pixar film or a porno. Ammon may own this round but things will only get tougher and stupider as we figure out what we’re doing each week.
As for other stuff, TV Round-Up has talk of Ray Donovan, The Strain, Sons of Anarchy, and Boardwalk Empire while What Did You Watch lays down some sick beats for THE EQUALIZER, SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR, FILTH, BAD ASSES, I AIN’T SCARED OF YOU, OCULUS, FRANK, and AIRPLANE. All that and Kupka calls in with a review for A WALK AMONG THE TOMBSTONES.
Then it’s a walk down sounder memory lane as Moreno empties his old folder to end the show. I cried.
Ever wonder why constantly reference “lethal mouth penises” on this show so much? The evidence is in the picture below. Just to be clear to any and all television shows looking to make a name for themselves in the future, if you have two of the most annoying, awful, ridiculously horrible characters in your story, whatever you do, don’t put them in the same scene together and try to force some sort of corny sub-plot down our throats for any amount of time in any episode ever. The Strain does exactly that here. Twice. We’re too far gone to care about this show anymore and even the decent stuff is pissing us off. And seriously, is there any worse looking bad guy in modern television. We try to break down why we hate The Master so much but can’t get past his lips. And his ears. And his chin. And his ball-sack cheeks. There’s only two more episodes.
Moreno, Ammon, and Law have united once again to waste your time in epic fashion. Google Voice is played, movies are reviewed, and television is watched.
Firstly, Moreno chimes in with his own King of Hollywood idea and some way or another it ends up starring Geena Davis. We also get some voicemails concerning the subject that center around the ultimate James Bond movie and A-list porn.
TV Round-Up gets serious with Boardwalk Empire, Sons of Anarchy, Ray Donovan, and The Strain while Ammon checks out the premiere episodes for Forever, Red Band Society, and Z Nation.
What Did We Watch is packed full of hate for TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION before we branch off into other, better, films such as SPACE STATION 76, MAPS TO THE STARS, MANSOME, and Moreno’s thoughts on EDGE OF TOMORROW.
It’s time to stop ignoring those baby bumps and acknowledge the secret ceremonies. Because of this league, this is the type of shit I have to care about now. Zoe Saldana and Kristen Bell both lost points this week due to their filthy sex lives. Angelina Jolie also lost points (FUCKING BALLS!) due to her marriage to some actor guy. Other than that, GUARDIANS finally settled down to third place while movies nobody wants to see moved into the top two spots. How does that even work? Check out the entire spreadsheet via the link below or just stare at that stupid picture until it says you won.
First and foremost, we do not give points for hacked phone photos. If it starts happening every week we’ll have to look into it. As for this week’s standings there’s still not a lot of changes other than Pete MC rolling towards the top on the back of GUARDIANS. With no real box office challenger in sight for a while he might even make a run for the top spot eventually. LUCY popped back into the top ten this week, giving our leader a little bit more of a cushion. Actually, it seems like every movie involved in the HFL moved up a spot in the weekend totals for the week. Weird. Click the link below for the entire spreadsheet or print the picture out into a poster and put it on your ceiling if you love it so much.
There’s tons of stuff to get through as Law, Ammon, and Moreno get back together for an epic reunion episode of the Binge Cast. Want new sounders – we got ’em. We’ve also got plenty to say about the final season of Sons of Anarchy (enter our Final Exam contest before it’s too late right here), and tons of other TV shows, such as Boardwalk Empire, Ray Donovan, The Strain, The Wire, and Tyrant. And finally. on this list of things we got – we got an idea for an Asylum movie that just might work. Now all we have to do is remember this conversation. Balls.
On the movie side of things we have reviews of FRANK, I KNOW THAT VOICE, LEPRECHAUN: ORIGINS, TO BE TAKEI, GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, DIVERGENT, SPIDERS, RAMPART, LETHAL WEAPON, KINGS OF SUMMER, and TOY STORY OF TERROR.
Keep it here this week as we’re going to try and get commentaries out for The Strain, Boardwalk Empire, and Sons of Anarchy. Do dis!
Welcome to your final exam. Sons of Anarchy is coming to an end and we thought we’d celebrate by testing your predictions for the final season. Enter all your answers below and when the season is over we’ll grade everybody’s exam and reward the winner with a Jax Teller: Funko POP! Sons of Anarchy Vinyl Figure as seen below.
Rules:
-Only 1 exam entry per email.
-Prize available to North American entries only.
-Be sure to enter your name and email to be graded and eligible for the prize.
-Any controversial results leading to variant answers will be decided upon by Law, Moreno, and Ammon on the Binge Cast.
The Fall TV season is upon us and I couldn’t be happier. Filling time at work by watching seven reality shows a night is starting to turn my brain into mushy poop shit. So before we kick off the good stuff with Boardwalk Empire this Sunday, I’m going to remember the past year’s worth of great shows (minus Breaking Bad because it’s done and I could easily fill this whole list just from that show and shut up) and make a list of my favorite characters. You’re going to read it and comment below because you love me and we’re best friends. Go.
10. Jamal Al-Fayeed – TYRANT
Some of the acting on Tyrant can leave you wanting more but I stand by my opinion that Jamal is as solid an evil mother fucker can get. Every time he’s on screen he’s either killing somebody, fucking somebody’s wife, or drinking like an asshole and scheming to kill or fuck somebody. A true role model.
9. Michonne – THE WALKING DEAD
The Walking Dead took a nose dive for me a long time ago but there’s no denying the ability of Michonne to single-handedly save any given episode by kicking ass and looking cool. She’s the best character in the comic, she’s the best character on the show. Just the way it should be.
8. Alex ‘Tig’ Trager – SONS OF ANARCHY
Again, I’m not in love with Sons as much as I used to be (fucking Jax) but the show still entertains on higher levels than most shit I watch. Tig wins over my heart because he’s so goddamn unpredictable. I imagine his lines of dialogue and action scenes in the script are just left blank and then he just acts out whatever crazy shit is going on in his head at that moment.
7. Enoch “Nucky” Thompson – BOARDWALK EMPIRE
Nucky wouldn’t have been my first choice for this show for the last few (every?) seasons but let’s just say my favorite characters on this show seem to find a way to not extend their contracts in some of the most horrible ways. Well played, Nuck, you’re finally the coolest kid on the block.
6. Abraham Setrakian – THE STRAIN
Each week The Strain leaves me wanting more. More Setrakian. More nail guns being fired by Setrakian. More gibberish being mumbled before every head lopping by Setrakian. More fedora’s on Setrakian’s dome. Just….. more.
5. Lucas (Not) Hood – BANSHEE
Not Hood is the best. Whether he’s banging every girl withiin a 300 ft radius or beating up entire gangs with his bare hands. Remember when I said Sons of Anarchy still entertained me? It’s like watching paint dry compared to this shit. Banshee is the ultimate “Dad” TV show. I’m a dad. Do the math.
4. Detective Rust Cohle – TRUE DETECTIVE
I don’t think I’d ever want to partner with the dude but Rust sure is interesting to watch from afar. Which is better though, flashback Rust or present day Rust? I’d have to go with present day. Dude just pounds beers, fucks with cops, and continues to be obsessed with death stuff. And he looks homeless.
3. Ray Donovan – RAY DONOVAN
Ray gets better week after week on the current season. Complete badass, fucked up family, worst friends ever, broads on his nuts all day, and he still gets shit done. I have a feeling he would hate me though. I don’t know why, really, just a gut feeling (because I’m a douche).
2. Tyrion Lannister – GAME OF THRONES
After a lackluster season three, Tyrion got his ass back in the spotlight for season four and delivered on every level. I laughed with him (not at him, you discriminating fucks), I cried with him (not really, I am incapable of tears), and I felt his pain (I was drunk every night I watched). The only dude on this list I would hug for hours on end, whether he wanted to or not.
1. Lorne Malvo – FARGO
Everything about this show was unexpected. What should have been a less-superior spin-off of a classic film ended up being one of the best things on television in years. Billy Bob had a lot to do with that. His sarcastic, sadistic, and insidious portrayal of Malvo was easily my favorite thing on the small screen this past year.
Borderlands 2, Parks and Rec, The Wire, Patriots Football and
Jim Lawlapalooza Reflections (From the Outside)
Have I mentioned that Steam is, literally, the greatest thing ever done for video games? Well it is, and one of the amazing byproducts of my revitalized love of PC gaming is revisiting games that I initially may have rushed through. Case-in-point: Borderlands 2. I don’t know how, but my first play-through of this game left me wanting a lot more. I think that was probably due to the fact that, because my brothers aren’t into the games I am I was playing solely by myself. What a mistake, as multiplayer Borderlands 2 is like a completely different game. It’s incredible how high the replay value becomes once you have three other people participating in the mayhem. Again, if you’re on steam, hit me up and let’s play.
I’m happy to report I’ve officially jumped on the Parks and Rec bandwagon. I added the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness to this article because it is literally the moment in this show where I finally got it. The comedy here is solid, layered and full of good characters. I’m now on season 3 and the inclusion of Rob Lowe and Adam Scott is really enjoyable, particularly Rob Lowe, whose comedic chops are on full display here. Once again, glad I stuck it out for this one as it’s becoming a staple in the house.
For those of you keeping track at home, I’m rounding out season 2 of The Wire in prep for our upcoming commentaries. I said it on the BingeCast earlier and I’ll say it here again; give season 2 a break. David Simon went in a totally new direction and gave viewers something radically different than anything done on TV before or since, but that’s far from a bad thing. Frank Sobotka is a great character and provides a strong connection to the normal working class in Baltimore, something very important to the overall journey of the series. I’m actually looking forward to the season 2 commentaries more than season 1, call me crazy.
I can’t believe football is finally here. I’m so ready for this season I can’t stand it, and at 1:00pm this Sunday my ass will be planted firmly in front of a gigantic TV, hopefully with a nice brew and some great company. I’m over the moon for my boys’ roster this year, and the (surprise) announcement that Gronk is good to go for game 1. While Gronk seems to be the lynchpin for the offense in the eyes of many analysts, I try to remember that last year, with a core of rookie receivers and a decimated defense, the Pats still made it all the way to the AFC Championship Game. The consistency of this team is, at this moment, unrivaled across the league, and I’m ecstatic because of that. I’m also glad that Jimmy Garoppolo is getting the backup job this year behind Brady, as I’ve never been too impressed with Ryan Mallett’s production whatsoever. Garoppolo already looks like he understands the mechanics and timing of a football game better than Mallett ever did. I’m not saying the kid is the next Aaron Rodgers, but he looks solid and willing to learn, two traits that made Tommy Touchdown the champ he is today. I’m calling it now, AT LEAST 14-2 this season.
I wanted to take a minute to acknowledge this past weekend’s Jim Lawlapalooza. First of all, thank you gents for the call during the show, it was great to be there in spirit. Second of all, and to all my fellow BingeFans/Staff, how fucking FUN did that look/sound? I’m there next year, by hook or by crook, no doubt. Here’s hoping the boys come out to New York so we can go get drunk outside the New York Public Library and quote Ghostbusters lines. Check back later this week for our daily blogs and a new Strain commentary (which kicked major ass this week!). Binge on!