I was just going to type that and leave you to it but I guess there a lot more shit going on in this show than leaked episodes of our favorite series.
Ammon, Moreno, and Law kick things off with TV Round-Up and the season premiere of GOT. Law answers any and all questions about episode one and washes his hands of any wrongdoing. There’s also Daredevil to touch on as Ammon can only get through a couple episodes while law finishes half the season in one afternoon. Ammon realizes that The Slap is over, Moreno forgets to watch Justified, and we all give our two cents on the season finale of Better Call Saul along with how we think the second season will play out.
Kupka calls in while tripping balls from some random hotel he’s not staying at to update us on the Binge Media Fantasy Hockey League and why everybody should still hate him in the Fantasy Hottie League.
Google Voice delivers a couple more amazing voicemails.
What Did You Watch has our thoughts on I HATE CHRISTIAN LAETTNER, HOME, and a new little segment called Revisit Reviews gives us a chance to catch up with RUSHMORE.
Stay tuned to the site this week for the return of our Game of Thrones commentaries.
Being back on the BingeCast is the cure to all my recent aches and pains as Moreno, Ammon, and I settle in with tons of shit-talk and booze.
We get busy early and often with TV Round-Up and complete disregard we have for The Walking Dead. There’s also tons of other words about The Following, The Slap, Bloodline, and that chapter that was released for the next Game of Thrones book which leads into what we expect from the upcoming TV season.
Google Voice is stupid and proves it once again with some stellar transcriptions of listener voicemail.
What Did You Watch is simply all of us losing our shit over FURIOUS 7 for an hour. What was silly, what was awesome, what was with all that ass, what if they ended it differently, what if this guy was in it and that guy wasn’t. We cover it all. Then I lose my composure while reviewing GOING CLEAR: SCIENTOLOGY AND THE PRISON OF BELIEF. I don’t like what I don’t understand and I’m good with that. Ammon also checks out INTO THE WOODS and revisits the first three MISSION IMPOSSIBLE movies for shits and giggles.
A little Trailer Round-Up and a preview of the next Drunk Angry Movie Dads and we’re out. Watch the site this week for a new Monday Morning Moreno and the latest Better Call Saul commentary. Boom.
I’m soul-suckingly sick right now. It’s the type of virus that literally engulfs your whole body and doesn’t allow you to leave your bed for more than three minutes at time without hating the world as a whole. Seriously, the back of my eyeballs hurt right now. How the fuck does that happen?
Right around the time I started getting my ass kicked with this death-plague I noticed Netflix had pretty silently debuted a new original series called Bloodline. More importantly, this new series starred Kyle Chandler, he of Coach Taylor legend, easily one of my favorite TV characters of the past twenty years (Friday Night Lights). I propped my head up and watched thirteen straight episodes.
It’s amazing to see Chandler unconfined by network rules. Imagine if Coach Taylor was allowed to drop a couple inspirational f-bombs during those pre-game speeches in FNL. Here we get a very similar character, trying to keep his shit together while dealing with family issues, with the ability to tell us how he really feels. He’s great, as is his supporting cast (Linda Cardellini, Sam Shepard, and Sissy Spacek, to name a few), but none of them are the best thing about this show. None of them are even close. Ben Mendelsohn is incredible. His portrayal of Danny, the estranged brother with a troubled past, present, and future is fascinating to say the least. There are subtleties to this character that seem impossible to keep constant, yet Mendelsohn does it in every single scene he has. Every single line of dialogue he has. Every facial tick. Everything. This is a dominant performance for the ages. There is no way this dude doesn’t win an Emmy for what he’s done here. I’m already mad about this for some reason. The show itself would have been a hell of a lot better had it been shortened. Thirteen episodes is a little much when things start really heating up around number nine. Still, the best acting ensemble I’ve seen in a while, a decent story, some cool twists, and a solid ending will keep me tuned in next season.
On to other life-altering pop culture news that did it’s best to drag me from the pit of despair otherwise known as my sweaty garbage bed. Bruce Campbell joining Fargo is brilliant. One of my favorite people in the universe being added to my favorite new show of last year is almost a little weird to comprehend. Things like this almost never happen this perfectly. Getting Campbell in full BUBBA HO-TEP mode, reuniting with the Coen Brothers, on top of the already announced EVIL DEAD weekly show is shit that only my wildest fantasies can come up with. I’ll check back after I’m done being sick and all the medically induced hallucinations have passed to see if this all real. I’m feeling crazy right now so I’d also like to predict an Emmy nomination for Bruce. He’s going to knock this thing out of the park and Fargo is going to get a lot more recognition this year.
As if Bruce returning to TV wasn’t enough, the retro Gods decided to bring back Scully and Mulder too. The X-Files is waaaaaaay more important to the development of modern television than people realize. I bet there’s people reading this that haven’t even watched a single episode. That’s gross. I like this for a few reasons. 1. Gillian Anderson is still killing it on things like The Fall and Hannibal and I can’t wait to see her reestablish one of the greatest female roles of all time. 2. Apparently it’s only six episodes. Perfect. I remember liking the first movie but couldn’t tell you why for the life of me. The second movie is a complete blur, except for when the two leads banged. They belong on television.
And then, of course, we get the mother of all “You CAN always Get What You Want” news. Steven Spielberg being attached to direct READY PLAYER ONE is huge around here. We were proudly obsessed with this book for months after reading it and pulled no punches when we got the opportunity to interview it’s author, Ernie Cline back in the JoBlo days (listen to that epic shitright here, it’s one of the greatest things we’ve ever done). This, again, seems like it’s my mind playing tricks on me. It’s obvious they’re not going to be able to recreate everything from the book, considering how many different licences are involved. BUT, I’m pretty sure Spielberg owns a few licences of his own, coupled with all the shit that Warner Bros. owns. Is it possible this gets even better? We can only pray that this stays the course and we get to see the icon of all icons direct one of the most glorious love letters to being a kid in the 80s. It might not. It might suck. Just let me have my moment for now.
Welcome to our special edition of the Monday Morning Binge Cast, the live 2015 Hottie Draft! Obviously it’s not live any more but if you were there Saturday night, thank you. This is the shortened version (if you consider almost three hours shortened) as I cut out all the breaks we took.
So, if you don’t know who you have yet – get your ass inside and listen up. Tons of shit talk, tons of ladies I’ve never heard of, controversy, and Kupka sitting on his self-made throne among his minions await you.
As Moreno leaves us for yet another secret mission, Law and Ammon hold down the fort by watching a bunch of crap, some good, but mostly bad.
First up is the Hottie Fantasy League announcement. Sign up for Season 2 starts now and you can go to our Facebook page to sign up. Hit us up with a like and make sure you leave a comment on the official post telling us you’re in. Sign up ends on March 16. This year’s draft will be on March 21st.
TV Round-Up is packed with thoughts on Banshee, The Walking Dead, The Following, The Last Man On Earth, Better Call Saul, The Slap, Justified, Game of Thrones, and House of Cards. The segment bring two important questions the table – 1. What movie memorabilia would you search out if you were the last man on Earth and steal without consequence? 2. What movie kid would you love to slap? These are both important issues that need to be resolved.
Google Voice gets the ball rolling with Hottie Draft shit-talk and brings news of a US version of Black Mirror.
What Did You Watch allows Ammon to revisit THE DARK KNIGHT RISES and THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO, and check out DEAD SNOW 2: RED VS. DEAD, HOUSEBOUND, and the ROBOCOP remake. Law almost finishes GIRL HOUSE.
Stay tuned for our Banshee commentary and a new Binge Movie Aftertaste with Garrett later this week.
With Ammon away for the weekend and our decision not to bother any of our cohorts, Law and Moreno choose to go all old school on your asses. This means we have some New Releases, which lets us talk about how awful UNFINISHED BUSINESS looks, and a Box Office report that has us looking over and judging Will Smith’s entire career.
Last week we discussed the potential of a sequel to FACE/OFF. This week we made the trailer for it.
In other stupid-as-shit clips news, we stumble upon an old file that has us sounding like chipmunks and giggling like idiots while obsessing over Antonio Banderas.
TV Round-Up covers another powerful episode of Banshee (check out our commentary tomorrow), where and when The Walking Dead is going, the leveling out of Shameless, and the potential of The Last Man on Earth and The Jinx.
What Did You Watch is quick and to the point with STRETCH as we make more time for all the Google Voice messages we’ve been ignoring.
After the Academy Awards finished last night Moreno, Ammon, and Law found themselves recording a brand new BingeCast and discussing everything that went down at the big show. Why is John Travolta the weirdest dude on the planet? Tanning Chatum was high as balls. Octavia Spencer has the improv skills of a fork. Zoe Saldana is hot as hell. All these topics are covered early and often. Also, how did NPH do? And many babadiicks to spread around.
There’s also a regular show in here somewhere when we get to TV Round-UP and talk The Americans, Banshee, The Walking Dead, Justified, and Better Call Saul.
What did you watch has the word on HOT TUB TIME MACHINE 2, WILD CARD, THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING, TOP FIVE, and HEAT.
I had 4 hours sleep. Go listen to the show and leave me alone until Tuesday, when our new Banshee commentary will be up. Friday brings a new Binge Aftertaste too. Seriously, leave me alone.
I haven’t truly been obsessed with a network television drama since the second or third season of Lost. The Following has had it’s moments and I’m sure to take a peak whenever Jack Bauer decides to come out of hiding, but for me to consider starting a brand new show in the modern era of small screen means it has to look all sorts of special. The Slap had something going for it. As I said on last week’s Binge Cast, I’d like to believe it was the incredible cast they’ve assembled ( Uma Thurman, Brian Cox, Peter Sarsgaard, Thandie Newton, Melissa George, Zachery Quinto, Thomas Sadoski, Mackenzi Leigh) that brought me to the table but, sadly, I think I just wanted to see some random kid get slapped on national television. Not that I hate kids (I have three, and don’t slap them), but I do usually have a problem with kid characters. Nine out of ten of them deserved to be slapped on a constant basis. This rule applies to all types of fake children – movie children, cable TV children, commercial children, and all the children that sing on those soul sucking pop music cover albums.
It’s been minutes since episode two ended of The Slap and I’m still in awe of how quickly this show plummeted into the depths of Shits Creek. I would rather pay top dollar for a private Yoko Ono concert than continue to watch this show. As bad as the cliches are and the predictability of the writing, or the forced disdain for every single character, the major reason this show has me considering to start cutting myself is the most obnoxious and laughably useless voice-over in the history of……. ever. To take such a cookie cutter script and then dumb down the audience even further with explanations for every pathetic action throughout the episode is like torture. “In case you missed the point, John Doe is sympathetically staring at his child because he really likes him and feels bad” With a slight exaggeration, that last sentence isn’t too far from the bullshit being spewed every time one of these ridiculous characters take a moment to themselves. ” John Doe likes banging chicks. Jane Smith is a chick.”
There are no surprises when it comes to The Slap. Situations you know are going to end badly – end badly. There’s also nobody to relate to. The kid that got slapped is an asshole. The guy that slapped him is an asshole. The parents of the kid that got slapped are complete and idiots and assholes. Uma Thurman isn’t an asshole yet but I’m sure, next week, when we find out she’s pregnant, she’ll end up being one. The main character is cheating on his hot wife. His parents are typical annoying bastards from the old way of thinking, whatever that means. Everybody is drunk all the time, nobody likes anybody else, jobs are stressful, parking is a bitch, and that kid on the basketball team won’t pass. We get it.
The funny thing is that I feel like I have to continue watching. It’s only six episodes and I want (need) to see how bad it can actually get. Aside from a brutal semi-automatic massacre at the next family get-together, there’s no way this show can end in a way that makes sense and seems worthwhile. All I know is that when it comes to my anticipation and the star-studded cast they’ve put together here, there has never been a show titled so appropriately.
What I consider our greatest Angry Drunk Movie Dads episode yet, Ammon and Law force their entire families to watch the BACK TO THE FUTURE trilogy. Is it an amazing bonding experience or have lives been destroyed? They also pick next month’s movie homework, taking into consideration the time of year and recent revelations.
After all that business, the boys start discussing some of the shit that their kids are addicted to on Netflix and stumble upon an actual million dollar idea. It involves YouTube, booze, and toys. See you at the country club, bitches. Check out one of the videos Law is talking about below and hate yourself for not doing that for a living. Also check out the little kid at the end of BTTF III pointing at his wiener during the final scene.