last week tonight

Everybody has been busy giving their highlights of the year (except Kupka – what the fuck was that?) and the good thing about going last is that you get to cheat off everybody else and say “I liked that shit too.” But I’ll try not to do that because a) I’m a professional, and b) I forget most of what they wrote and don’t feel like clicking my mouse a couple times to find out. Here goes – my favorite things of 2016

BOOKS

I fell away from reviewing books on the BingeCast this year partly because I’m a drunk idiot and always forget, and partly because I went on a tear this year, sometimes finishing two books a week, and couldn’t keep up with myself. Here’s a couple that come to mind as I wrap the year up. IN THE DARKNESS, THAT’S WHERE I’LL KNOW YOU: THE COMPLETE BLACK ROOM STORY by Luke Smithered in a brilliant little novel about a dude that wakes up inside a strange woman’s head. That’s all I can give without ruining the rest. CRITICAL FAILURES is a series of books by Robert Bevan in which a group of friends get thrust into their role playing game called Caverns & Creatures (not unlike Dungeons & Dragons). It’s a fun read filled with shit talking, farts, and dick jokes a plenty. The best audiobook I listened to by far this year though was ALIEN: OUT OF THE SHADOWS by Tim Lebbon. I can’t remember who recommended this to me on Facebook but I can’t thank them enough. The audio version is a full budget presentation with sound effects and entire cast. The story plays as an alternate sequel to the original ALIEN film (but officially says it takes place between ALIEN and ALIENS) and finds Ripley waking up aboard a mining ship in deep space. Said mining ship finds a shit load of Xenomorphs. It takes a lot for me to give a book credit that is basically going head-to-head with the greatest sequel ever made in my opinion so give it a shot and see what you think.

VIDEO GAMES

I’m pretty sure I played one actual video game this year. That’s okay because I absolutely dominated it with my boy, Pete MC. This year at Lawlapalooza in Chicago we met up with Chad D, Chad C, Nick, and Creepy 209. Add Moreno, Pete, myself, and lots of lovely wives and we lived through the greatest meet-up yet. At some point we stumbled into a bar/arcade and started talking shit. After a few rounds of Ninja Turtles, getting my ass handed to me on Donkey Kong, and a few shots of pure death, Pete and I settled into our spot on NBA JAM and started kicking everybody’s assholes all over the walls. That’s right, the walls were painted in assholes. I’m retired from gaming for now, a champion, a hero, a complete prick.

ANIMATED FILMS

As a whole, the animated genre is in it’s golden age. No longer is it just Pixar followed by everybody else. KUBO AND THE TWO STRINGS is the biggest surprise on my list as I absolutely loved (almost) every second of it. Bundle that with the likes of ZOOTOPIA, FINDING DORY, MOANA, TROLLS, STORKS, and Pixar’s short film, BORROWED TIME, and you have one hell of a list. There were some clunkers too (THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS, ANGRY BIRDS, SAUSAGE PARTY) but those are easily outweighed by some brilliant films.

VADER

As I write this I’m gearing up for an all out podcast war with some of the other asshats from this site where we’ll argue about the importance, quality, and overall necessity of ROGUE ONE. Whatever the outcome of that conversation, there is one fact that I will not back down from – when Vader lights up his saber in the pitch black hallway after a few seconds of just his breathing is the single greatest shot in the history of STAR WARS cinema. What immediately follows is the best representation of the big bad we’re ever going to get on screen. Remember how excited we all were when we got to see Yoda kick ass in ATTACK OF THE CLONES? And how stupid it turned out to be? The Vader equivalent is anything but stupid – it’s glorious.

TV

There’s lots of good and bad in the television I watched this year, sometimes within the same series. STRANGER THINGS was good but failed to capture me the way it did countless others. THE WALKING DEAD had a great half hour of the premiere episode and then literally shit the bed every other second of screen time in what I consider to be one of the worst seasons of television I’ve ever watch throughout. SOUTH PARK started off on fire but felt like it went on a tad too long and lost some steam with me by the end. AMERICAN HORROR STORY pulled off the impossible by my standards by having me tap out mid-season and then having me tap back in before the end of the season (this is 100% Ammon’s fault and he’s an asshole). CHANNEL ZERO was the horror show I’ve been looking for, and  even if it didn’t nail the landing, there were enough creepy moments to last a lifetime. VEEP was incredible from start to finish this year, leaving me wonder how they can ever top what they pulled off. I welcomed back BLACK MIRROR with open arms and was not disappointed. There’s an argument here that this show was pound-for-pound the most entertaining thing (movie or TV show) I watched this year. Some new shows caught my eye too – HORACE AND PETE was emotional, funny, and incredibly performed. ATLANTA was hilarious, all too real, and original. And DIVORCE was a triumphant comeback for Sarah Jessica Parker to HBO. The runs we were treated to by John Oliver on LAST WEEK TONIGHT and Samantha Bee on FULL FRONTAL might never be matched as they fell face first into a political shitstorm for the ages. ASH VS. EVIL DEAD was simply the greatest this year. I’ve ranted and raved enough about it on the show and in my personal life so I can hear everybody saying “We get it!” Shut up and watch. And of course, the first fully un-spoilerable season of GAME OF THRONES grabbed me by the jaw from the first episode and never let me look away. I loved it all. Book purists can sit and pout all they want, this was fantastic television.

MOVIES

I’m not going to get into my top films of the year here as we like to record a BEST OF 2016 BingeCast for that type of shit, but I will talk about some of my favorite moments. Such as the fantasy prom scene from SING STREET. This shit plays to my inner musical fan like a perfectly beat drum. I love random choreographed dance scenes in films. Don’t know why, just do. The fight between all the heroes in CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR was as epic as they could make it. Sure nobody died, but we got to see Spider-Man hanging with his new friends and Ant-Man own almost every second of screen time he has. DON’T BREATHE made me gag and almost throw up at work, DEADPOOL made me laugh harder than I have in years, and HACKSAW RIDGE had one of the most unrelenting war scenes of all time and almost made me press pause to catch my breath. Twice. I got a cool-as-fuck Denzel in THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, a scary as all hell John Goodman in 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE, and a hot-as-shit Blake Lively in, one of my biggest surprises of the year, THE SHALLOWS. I loved Kevin Costner in CRIMINAL, wanted to hang with Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling in THE NICE GUYS, and marveled at the subtle indifference of Amy Adams in ARRIVAL and NOCTURNAL ANIMALS. I can’t tell if she’s an amazing actress or not, but I like her.

I guess that’s it. Prepare yourself for lots of shit talking in the new year on the BingeCast and, as always, have a drink or two for me whenever you have one.