Chad C has lots to say about his man-crush on Jon Hamm in Beirut, the scary funny faces in Truth or Dare, and why Rampage will be the Law household’s favorite movie of ever. Again. Until next week.
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This column will introduce you to the most popular movies that are coming out in theaters this weekend.
That’s right baby!!! Baby Driver is about Baby, a young getaway driver, who unwillingly takes part in a heist for a crime boss. Baby needs the music on his iPod to help him focus and concentrate on his driving. Music will play a huge part in this movie. Starring in this action crime flick are Ansel Elgort (The Fault in Our Stars), Jon Bernthal, Jon Hamm, Eliza González, Kevin Spacey, Jamie Foxx, and more. This is Edgar Wright’s 5th directorial film. His other films include The Cornetto trilogy and Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Don’t be a baby, go see this flick in theaters this weekend.
During the Civil War, a wounded soldier finds his way to an all girl’s school in Virginia. While he’s there, sexual tension and rivalries take over the house. Starring in this period piece remake from 1971 are Colin Farrell, Nicole Kidman, Kirsten Dunst, Elle Fanning, and more. I feel like Elle is getting way more work than Dakota. Anyway, Sofia Coppola co-writes and directs this film. Coppola’s last four films are A Very Murray Christmas, The Bling Ring, Somewhere, and Marie Antionette. Do you love period pieces? Then check this one out.
The Big Sick tells the story of a young couple and the way they deal with their cultural differences. Starring in this romantic comedy are Kumail Nanjiani, Zoe Kazan, Holly Hunter, Ray Romano, and more. Michael Showalter of Wet Hot American Summer fame directs this flick, while Kumail Nanjiani and his wife Emily V. Gordon are the writers. Showalter has directed Hello, My Name is Doris (2015), starring Sally Field. Are you sick of summer blockbusters? Then check out The Big Sick.
I am Gru. Gru is back in the third installment of the Despicable franchise. This time Gru meets his long-lost brother Dru, who is more cheerful and successful in life. However, Dru wants to join Gru for one last heist. What will Gru do? Lending their voices for part 3 are Steve Carell, Kristen Wiig, Trey Parker, Miranda Cosgrove, Steve Coogan, Julie Andrews, and more. There are 3 directors on this animated feature: Eric Guillon, Kyle Balda, and Pierre Coffin. Balda directed Minions, while Coffin directed Despicable Me 1,2, and Minions. Don’t be despicable, go to the theater.
The House tells the story of a couple who start an illegal casino in their house after they spent their daughters college funds. Starring in this comedy are Will Ferrell, Amy Poehler, Jason Mantzoukas, Nick Kroll, Rob Huebel, and more. Andrew Jay Cohen is the co-writer and director of this flick. This is Cohen’s first directorial/theatrical release, however, Cohen has written screenplays for Neighbors, 1 and 2, and Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates. Now get out of the house this weekend and check out The House.
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This column will introduce you to the most popular movies that are coming out in theaters this weekend and why you should go see them. Which one will you see?
Reasons to see this:
Based on the Pulitzer Prize-Winning Novel, American Pastoral tells the story of a middle class family who’s lives start crumbling due to their daughter’s radical political affiliation. Starring in this crime drama is Ewan McGregor (imagine Jim Law saying it – Euuuaan McGgggegor), Jennifer Connelly, Dakota Fanning, David Strathairn and more. Not only is Ewan McGregor the star of this film, he’s actually the director. This is his first directorial feature film. Be a good American and see American Pastoral this weekend.
Reasons to see this:
Tyler Perry is back with another Madea movie. He’s the writer, producer, actor, and director of this Horredy. If you are a fan of these movies, then go check this out.
Reasons to see this:
TC is back!!! Cruise returns as Jack Reacher for the 2nd time. This time, Reacher must clear his name from a government conspiracy, as well as uncover secrets from his past. Cobie Smulders also stars in this gritty action flick. Edward Zwick is the writer and the director of this sequel. Zwick has directed Glory, Courage Under Fire, The Last Samurai, Blood Diamond, and Defiance. Don’t Reach for the remote. Go Back to the theater.
Reasons to see this:
Keeping Up is about an everyday normal couple who gets brought into an international espionage plot by their neighbors, who aren’t who they appear to be. Dun dun dunnnn. The players in this action comedy are, Gal Gadot, Isla Fisher, Zach Galifianakis, Jon Hamm, Patton Oswalt, Matt Walsh, and more. Greg Mottola is the director on this film. Mottola’s last 4 films are, Superbad, Adventureland, Paul, and Clear History. If you’re trying to keep up with the new comedies that hit theaters, then go check this one out.
Reasons to see this:
Wee-Gee 2. However, I think this is a prequel. So, Wee Gee 1? Anyway…..Los Angeles, 1967, a mother and her daughter invite evil into their home to help their seance scam business, but things obviously go wrong when the daughter becomes possessed. Boom. The cast for this horror film are, Lin Shaye, (Insidious crossover? Doubt it), Doug Jones, (Pan’s Labyrinth crossover? Nah), Annalise Basso, (Oculus crossover? Probably not), Kate Siegel, Henry Thomas and more. Writing and directing is Mike Flanagan. Flanagan has directed Absentia, Oculus, and Hush. If you liked the first one, then go see this one.
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You’d think with me putting up a poster that size that I would be somehow compensated for plugging Million Dollar Arm, the latest sports movie from Disney. Unfortunately for me, and my bank account, that is not the case. As per usual, at some point I will end up giving Disney more of my money. I have twin three year old daughters, so Disney’s gotten plenty of it. But sappy movies like these get me every time and I’m sure this one will do the same. If my count is correct, this film marks the 57th time that the Mickey Mouse folks have dipped into the sports genre. From the old Herbie movies (yes, I also have to count that piece of shit that Lindsay Lohan was in) to The Mighty Ducks franchise (EMILIO!) to The Game Plan (if you’re a father who has daughters, that movie gets you a little bit, even if it is The Rock), Disney has covered most of the major sports in the world. They’ve even done so without the use of Kevin Costner, who I’m legally obligated to bring up when I talk about sports movies. But don’t worry, he’s set to star in McFarland, set to release later this year. But before that, we’ve got Don Draper. You may know him as Jon Hamm. Set to be released next Friday, Hamm stars in this movie as J.B. Bernstein, a sports agent looking to make a splash by bringing in baseball talent from an untapped part of the world, India. How does he plan to do this? By setting up a reality show called……..you guessed it, Million Dollar Arm. Throw in one of the guys from Slumdog Millionaire AND Bill Paxton. SOLD! Honestly, this movie does look pretty good and I’m always up for a good baseball flick.
But this did get me to thinking. How will this movie stack up against my all-time favorites? Disney has actually released some very solid sports movies over the years, so here’s what I’ll do. Below, I’m going to give you my top five, and a little bit about the movie and why I like it. Then, once again, I’d like to get you involved. I’ll put mine into a poll and let you vote on them, along with an “Other” option as well, just in case your favorite doesn’t match up with one of mine. You can vote until next Thursday. Then, I’ll give the winner the full Binge Media Revisit treatment. But seriously, if you write in Herbie Fully Loaded, I will find out who you are and have you banned from the site. No…seriously….don’t fucking do it.
5. COOL RUNNINGS
How many times in your life have you talked about this movie? It could be one or one hundred, but you know that every time you say it, you say it with a Jamaican accent, or attempt to anyway. And how could you not talk about this movie? It’s about a bobsled team from Jamaica for God’s sake. While much of the film is fictionalized, the story is real and quite amazing, and the final scene where they carry their sled across the finish line is actually pretty awesome. Added to the mix is the late, great John Candy. Picturing John Candy doing anything athletic is enough to make you laugh.
4. INVINCIBLE
Invincible tells the story of Vince Papale, a down on his luck bartender from South Philly, played by Marky Mark Wahlberg. After his funky bunch of friends convince him to attend the open tryout for the Philadelphia Eagles, the story follows his journey at the tryout and his relationship with coach Dick Vermeil, played by Greg Kinnear. Wouldn’t you know it? He makes the team and scores a touchdown in a game against the hated New York Giants. There are a lot of good subplots in this film, one that involves Elizabeth Banks, which I’m always okay with, as well as Papale’s relationships with his friends and his father. The only thing that I wish were real would be a story about another team. I hate the fucking Eagles, man. But the movie still cracks the top five.
3. THE ROOKIE
Perhaps the most emotional movie on this list, The Rookie stars Dennis Quaid as Jimmy Morris, a Texas high school teacher and baseball coach. After making a deal with his team that he would try out for the major leagues if they won the title (which they do), Morris’ dream of pitching in the show becomes a reality in a very heartwarming tale of love, baseball, fathers and sons, and hope.
2. REMEMBER THE TITANS
I honestly flipped a coin between this and The Rookie for the number two spot on this list. This is one that if I come across it on a lazy Sunday afternoon, I’ll watch it to the end. It stars Denzel Washington as football coach Herman Boone in 1970s Virginia as two schools merge, bringing in the black and white aspect. How will the coaches get along? How will the players get along? Spoiler alert: It all turns out okay. Well, except for Gary. Poor bastard. But I will tell you, watching this movie is like watching an old episode of Who’s the Boss?, as you just feel bad for thinking the things you do about the little girl because you know what she grows up to be. But really, the little girl in this movie is Hayden Panettiere and because I’m such a nice guy, here’s a bonus pic.
If only she weren’t engaged to that Russian. And speaking of Russians (kick-ass segue)…….
1. MIRACLE
“Do you believe in miracles?” The best call in sports history from the great Al Michaels pretty much says it all. Miracle tells the story of the 1980 U.S. hockey team as they journey towards their epic matchup with a seemingly unbeatable Russian squad. And it’s got Kurt Russell as coach Herb Brooks, which only makes it better.
So there you have it. Now it’s your turn. You have until Thursday, May 15th at 3 p.m. to cast your vote and make sure to tell your friends about it. If you feel the need to defend your choice, use the comments section below or tweet @THElukenorris and make sure to check back at the end of next week to find out the winner.
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It’s been almost two years since we’ve been able to watch the neurotic adventures of Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Ask him if the show is coming back for a ninth season and you might get any number of responses, none of which will answer your question. Are you missing the show? Do you wish he’d just make up his mind and let the world know if the show will return or not? If you’re that much of a die-hard look no further than HBO’s CLEAR HISTORY, also known as CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM: THE MOVIE. You’d be surprised at how close to the truth that title is.
One look at the cast assembled for CLEAR HISTORY and you can’t help but get interested. Jon Hamm, Amy Ryan, Bill Hader, Michael Keaton, Kate Hudson, Eva Mendes, Danny McBride, Liev Schreiber, and Philip Baker Hall all co-star and make you believe this is going to be something big. Something huge. In the very least, something different for Larry David. What we get is a lot of top-notch actors getting to guest star in the world’s longest episode of CURB. Even director, Greg Motolla seems irrelevant here. The quirks he brought to films such as SUPERBAD, ADVENTURELAND, and PAUL seem non-existent when up against the writing of David, Alec Berg, David Mandel, and Jeff Schaffer (the collected brain behind CURB). Chances are if you were looking forward to the film, you’re a fan of David. And the fact that he hasn’t been around too often for the last couple years (THREE STOOGES aside) this might be the exact dosage you need of his foot being stuffed in his mouth over and over.
CLEAR HISTORY is the story of Nathan Flomm (David) and his dozens of missed opportunities. He opts out of an electric car company just as they go from start-up operation to billion dollar phenomenon. The laughing stock of the planet, Flomm shaves everything above his neck and moves away to start a new life under a fake name. The attitude, however, can’t be faked and Flomm soon finds himself in a pile of awkward conversations ten years after the fact. When his old boss (Hamm) shows up in his quiet little community, Flomm see a chance to right everything he’s done wrong. None of this turns out well.
The Seinfeld/Curb inspired social retardation is here. Flomm essentially asks “What’s the deal with power outlets?” and so-on-and-so-forth for the entire movie as the people around him try to live in the real world. Other than Keaton, who plays a decent semi-psychotic hillbilly, nobody truly stands out in the cast. Although, there’s something refreshing about hearing Hamm drop a solid F-bomb early in the film. You know Don Draper would like to let loose a few dozen times in every episode of Mad Men. By the time J.B. Smoove shows up and challenges David’s character about being a racist, there is literally no way of knowing whether or not you’re watching CURB.
Reading this back, it kind of sounds like I was disappointed. In a way, I was. I’m a big CURB fan and have followed David pretty closely since the Seinfeld days, but I thought this was going to branch out a little. At the same time, I really miss Curb and am happy to have a brand new extended edition to fill the void. Even if it is packaged differently. The story is funny, if not completely predictable, and Larry David does a great job as Larry David. Again.
Rating: 6.5/10
Don Draper (Jon Hamm) is a giant dick, and the people around him are finally starting to notice. Many of the attributes Draper displays on a weekly basis during any random season of Mad Men are the the very same that have come back to bite him in the ass as we head into the final season. The drinking, the womanizing, and the lack of ever really doing anything while at work are the things we, the viewer, had become so accustomed to that they went from running jokes to somber reality in the span of five seasons. All of these add up to bottom out Draper by this year’s season finale. I was totally expecting him to be diagnosed with lung cancer too before the credits rolled. Let’s take a look at where Don’s at:
By the time Don visits his childhood whorehouse in the final scene of the season we’re left to wonder exactly why he’s there. Has he come full circle? Is he starting over from square one? Is he going to buy the house and pimp out his daughter? All legitimate questions. I doubt even the writers know what the answers are at this point. As next season is the last, I kind of expect Don to turn things around and land on his feet. Or get lung cancer and die.
You’d think there wouldn’t be any time left for other characters with all of Don’s drama but I can happily report that everybody has their share of kicks to the face. Pete (Vincent Kartheiser), easily the most despised character at one time, has become nothing more than a door mat. He loses his wife, loses his mistress, loses his big account, loses his mother (that might be a good thing), and gains a rival. It’s not fun to hate this dude any more. Peggy (Elisabeth Moss), while left in a pant-suit of hope at season’s end, takes a step back from her “woman on the rise” role and gets her heart broken for her trouble. The high hopes of her departure from the firm last year were all but lost in this season as she was simply thrust back into her old job and uncharacteristically lost her career focus.
I really find it odd that giving Joan (Christina Hendricks) a more defined and prominent role in the company has left her character kind of scattered and meaningless. The woman that once held this company together is now simply getting in the way. As are a lot of the supporting cast. The creative team is good for a laugh per episode, Bert (Robert Morse) shows up once in a while to vote on something, Betty (January Jones) calls Don every so often to talk shit and have a cigarette (and bang him on field trips), and Roger (John Slattery) still stops in for a drink and stalks Joan but has kind of shyed away from his scene-stealing shenanigans. The only real part-timer to get a spotlight this season is Sally (Kiernan Shipka). Busting her father with his pants down is the season’s greatest moment and her antics at school seem to be more entertaining than the advertising world at this point. She still gets under my skin though.
The highlight for this season for me was the arrival of Ted (Kevin Rahm). Having one of Don’s rivals right across the hall from him brought a dynamic that Pete, Roger, or Lane (Jared Harris) could never achieve fully. Serious conflict. I loved whenever Ted would lose his shit because Don missed a meeting, or Don was drunk, or Don spewed garbage at a client, or Don went on a six-hour lunch. All these things that nobody had the balls to call Don out on before were suddenly relevant in the world’s most casual workplace. Not that Ted was perfect. mind you, which made him even more endearing. His obsession over Peggy was painful to watch by the end, as was his getting saved by the one man to which he was trying to be better than. Ted could be a hard-ass one second and a pushover then next but everything he added to this show was sorely missing, even if we didn’t know it.
The season as a whole started out drab for me, as Mad Men usually does, but after the arrival of some big clients, some quirky characters, and the fact that Don was exposed for almost all of his demons, I found myself completely engaged by the end. As Med Men usually does.
Grade: B+