I have done ridiculous podcasts. I have done funny podcasts. But I don’t think I have ever done as ridiculously funny a podcast as this one, our final entry in the Binge Jaws Retrospective.
In 1987, twelve years after the film which started the summer blockbuster, original Jaws co-star Lorraine Gary was retired. But put a script where she is the ‘hero’ of the story, and she fights a revenge seeking shark with her The Last Starfighter son Lance Guest, and you have the recipe for disaster known as Jaws The Revenge. Oh, did I mention the presence of Oscar winner Michael Caine?
I know I usually put a long winded history of the film discussed in the podcast on this page. But I think this show speaks for itself. Listen to a drunk Law, a semi drunk me, and a semi awake Nathan discuss what is widely considered one of the worst films of all time. But will all of us agree? And why am I so fixated on The Jets?
A big thank you to both Law and Nate, as this particular retrospective has been a real treat to do. Download the wacked out of its skull conclusion below.
Welcome to the third installment of our look at the Jaws franchise. Or, as Law and I call it, the part we do not remember doing. See, this podcast was recorded after we had been drinking and recording this week’s Binge Cast. Combine that with a wide awake and ready to hate on anything avocado related Nate Peterson, and yet another co-host who decided to watch the film as we were reviewing it, and you have yourself a recipe for podcast disaster.
Speaking of disasters, that would bring me to this week’s film. Jaws 3 was highly touted as being a terrifying addition to the franchise when it was being released. To top things off, it was riding the 80s wave of (cardboard glasses) 3D, as well as starring recent Oscar winner Louis Gossett Jr. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?
Join the three of us as we take the winding road that answers this question. And be sure to join us NEXT week, when we conclude this series with another entry in the Jaws franchise which stars an Oscar winner. Again, what could go wrong?
Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the movies, producers Richard Zanuck and David Brown put together a sequel to the first ever summer blockbuster. But how does Jaws 2 come off now, especially to the Brit who is watching it for the very first time?
Delve into the movie with Scarface Shark and Two Face Shark, and listen to us argue over just how bad (or good) it is. The weird thing is despite the absence of Robert Shaw, Richard Dreyfuss, and Steven Spielberg, Jaws 2 has a good reputation amongst fans. But you know our motto here at the Binge studios. If it has a good rep, we will argue about it.
Ok. Before I get into the long winded written intro to this series of Jaws based podcasts, there are a couple things I want to point out. One, you may notice that there are four scores (Lincoln??) above my little set of images below this wording instead of three. That would be because some asshole on this podcast decided to score the film TWICE. Listen to hear who THAT winner was.
Second, if you scroll through the images below, you may notice a shear terrifying one that you more or likely do not recognize. That image….is also explained on this here podcast.
Ok, with THOSE bits of business out of the way, here is the long short of the next month or so of podcasts. Law and I are massive fans of the original film (listen in future weeks to hear if we are fans of the sequels as well), and Nate has only seen the first one. Do the math. We are going to put him through the motions, Aftertaste style, and then hear his response to all four films, one by one, one per week.
Sound reasonable enough? Good, because I’m thirsty.
Logan gets his ass to Chicago and sits in with Moreno, Kupka, and Law as they take a look at the week in film, television, books, and being cocksuckers. Fun game to play as you listen this week. I set the over-under on the amount of times Logan says “ultimately” at 12. Try to guess if he goes over or under. Here’s Logan’s live timestamp to prove he was there. I still don’t believe him.
0:00:00 I was drunk while live timestamping so this will be fun.
01:23:00-Moreno. Kupka. Logan? Yup, that higher voiced motherfucker is here too. Is that speaking in third person? Will Law get pissed? Fuck off Law. Don’t care. Does Kupka like the Binge Media page or not?
0:14:38-GOOGLE VOICE.
0:55:18-LITERALLY LITERARY. Logan talks Marvel: The Untold Story. Kupka chats about Lullaby by Chuck Pahlanik, and then Moreno discusses Survivor by the same author.
1:06:00-TV ROUND UP! Law and Logan fife over Game of Thrones. Law continues with The Night of. Kupka brings up Veep and Silicon Valley. Logan started watching Parks and Rec. Kupka goes on about Bob Ross because he’s going to record a Wake and Bake with Jack Valley.
1:42:36-WHAT DID YOU WATCH? Law and Logan discuss Finding Dory. Logan revisited Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Kupka checked out Lemmy, Central Intelligence, Band Called Death, and revisited The Matrix Trilogy along with with 10 Cloverfield Lane. Law saw Popstar, Vigilante Diaries, and Term Life. Demolition. I don’t know what happened after that. Fuck.
I guess I can officially be classified as ‘the list man’ around the Binge offices. If you listened to that five hour barrage of drunken stupidity known as the Binge Cast from about a month ago -yyeeeppp, THAT one- then you are well aware of my love for The Witch. While giving my verbal review of the film, I proclaimed it to contain one of the most satisfying endings I have ever seen on film.
This proclamation got me thinking. Not only about why I hadn’t paced myself in the beer department, as my final beer was on its final legs at that point-but also this: If The Witch is going to one day make my list of ten most satisfying endings -and after another viewing or two, I wouldn’t be surprised if it did- it will have to go up against these ten bad boys of cinema. The below list contains a little bit of everything genre wise. But after so many times of walking out of a movie theater cursing out writers due to a thrown together ending -hello The Call– I thought I would put the best parts of those final reels to the test.
Warning: All of the titles I mention below have either pictures of their finales or detailed descriptions of them. Proceed with caution.
10) Heat (1995)
Michael Mann has certainly been getting a ton of references in both my podcast appearances and articles of late. But how can he not? The, uhhh, man, has put together some great films, and an argument could be made that 70% of his filmography could have been sitting comfortably in this spot. But in the end, I decided on Heat for two reasons. One, it is one of his most accomplished works in terms of action and dialogue he has ever done. Also, the synergy that came with having both Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino in the same film, at this exact point in their careers, was satisfying in of itself. The way they came together for a cup of coffee right after Vincent Hanna (Pacino) pulls Neil McCauley (DeNiro) over is far from by the numbers. Why didn’t he take him in? Because Vincent wanted to see where he was coming from, and realized in many instances, they were one of the same. That’s what makes the film’s final moments satisfying. Vincent has won. But he knows in a lot of ways, he lost, because he destroyed a part of himself.
9) Seven (1995)
Along with The Blair Witch Project, this film will forever live atop my list of favorite film going experiences (another list?). One, it has one of the most startling -yet brilliantly set-up- jump scares I have ever seen involving a shackled to his bed drug dealer. But David Fincher’s up front, nihilistic film moves along at a leisurely pace for a good while, as Mills (Brad Pitt) and Summerset (Morgan Freeman) investigate a series of vicious murders, with ‘John Doe’ always having the upper hand. That pace changes as soon as Doe turns himself in. We are then on the end journey with the two detectives, as they take Doe to where his final piece of the puzzle will inevitably be put in place. Wrecked with suspense when a van pulls up -perhaps my favorite single moment of the entire movie- the audience is on the edge of their seat as the driver gets out — and leaves a box. I will not say anymore, other than the fact that going to the movies and seeing the ‘bad guy’ win was a very rare thing in the 90s. Yet Fincher’s insistence -at the expense of a defiantly against it studio- of his film’s final few frames put a permanent stamp on our minds. It made us think about not only how fucked up Doe was, but also just what we would do if put in the exact same situation as Mills. And if he had a choice about whether or not to do what he did.
8) Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (1988)
Yeah, I went a little against the grain with this pick. But I feel I do have a pretty good reason why. As was outlined on a recent Bingecast Movie Homework, Steve Martin’s Neil Page spends almost the entire film trying his damndest to get away from John Candy’s shower curtain ring selling Del Griffith. It gets so demanding on Neil, that writer/director John Hughes plays a bit of short hand, as he at one point shows Page standing in his cozy motel room, gazing at Griffith, who was unable to afford a room. Griffith is trying to make the best of the situation, talking to himself, while also trying to stay warm in his car as snow falls around him. Finally, we hear Martin’s voice. ‘What did I do to get hooked up with this guy?’ We ask along with him, but are also thankful they did indeed find each other, as it had resulted in some of the funniest comedy bits from the entire 80s.
By the end of the film, Page finally is able to separate himself from Griffith, saying in closing, ‘tell (his wife) I said hi. I feel like I know her.’ ‘Will do,’ Griffith replies, so softly that it is almost cryptic. After a train ride which sees Page waving goodbye and sighing a deep sigh of relief, Griffith meets him at the next station (whoa, he travels FAST!) and proceeds to tell an inquiring Page that his wife has been dead for eight years, and he in fact doesn’t have a home. The moment in of itself is a heart tugger, and the above image is the perfect metaphor for where and how, after all their travelling, they eventually ended up going to Thanksgiving dinner in tandem. Because they worked together in order to do so.
7) Carrie (1976)
I was fortunate enough to grow up with a mother who was not a psychotic, God fearing zealot. Yay me. Sissy Spacek’s Carrie White, on the other hand, wasn’t so lucky. In the first film adaptation of Stephen King’s very first published novel, White literally has nowhere to turn. If she doesn’t have kids at school tormenting her about her first period, she was coming home to a mom who was angry about her daughter growing breasts. It is very rare seeing a movie that cultivates in a mother getting killed and then have me deem it ‘satisfying.’ But that is indeed what Carrie amounts to. Living a young life of torment, Carrie finally unleashes her powers and crucifies her mom on the wall with a series of flying kitchen knives.
Margaret White portrayer (and Oscar nominee) Piper Laurie famously declared that she spent the entire filming of Carrie thinking director Brian DePalma was making a comedy. While I have always taken this admission with the tiniest gran of salt, everyone knows the death by knives conclusion wasn’t the REAL ending of the film. But it’s the one that will always live in my memories as its finest moment.
6) The Descendants (2011)
The Descendants, like the majority of Alexander Payne movies, is a film that brings with it a barrel of emotions. One moment, you laugh at George Clooney running -with flip flops on- through a Hawaiian street. The next, you cringe as he meets his wife’s infidelity partner (Matthew Lillard). And finally, you are crying as the two daughters of the film are told -through a heart wrenching montage- that their mother will not make it out of intensive care alive. All the while, older daughter Alexandra (Shailene Woodley) fights with her father, and younger daughter Scottie (Amara Miller) just wants to see her mom.
So, after ALL this, how does Payne leave this family as an audience’s final image? Is it in torment? In constant self-doubt? No to both. We see them curled up on the couch, enjoying bowls of ice cream and watching movies. Together. It’s one of those moments that gets more beautiful the more you think about it, as opposed to seeing as it happens. Yet, I feel it is Payne’s best bit of storytelling of his entire career. Even after everything these three have experienced, they are still a family. And most importantly, they still have each other.
5) The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
Perhaps the movie that has come up on the most of these lists of mine, I would be remiss if I didn’t include it here. The entire length of The Shawshank Redemption was spent with Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) in a living hell, being sentenced to death for a crime he did not commit. Yet, he finds refuge in fellow inmate Ellis Redding (Morgan Freeman), until eventually letting him know of his dream to end up on a Hawaiian beach, free from it all.
With dank smelling and stone solid walls, along with some real asshole prison guards, the possibility of this happening looks bleak for Dufresne. But thanks to the Rita Hayworth poster in his cell, he is able to concoct a plan that gets him out, and the shot of him looking into the rain and spellings of freedom upon him could have passed for an ending which was indeed satisfying. But that wasn’t all Darabont had up his sleeve. As Dufresne sets up shop on his little island, Darabont swings his camera around to a barefoot Redding, who himself has also finally tasted the sweet taste of freedom. The film may be wrapped a little too tight for its own good. But after being in such a dark and dirty place for so long, I think everyone -from the two characters all the way to their audience- deserved this moment.
4) Jaws (1975)
Speaking of well deserved moments. But this was one that almost wasn’t. Readers of Jaws the book know the ending from the page consisted of the shark getting rammed, thereby sinking to its death. But a 27 year old, ambitious in his on the fly decision-making director named Steven Spielberg would have none of it. After Spielberg concocting the film’s literally explosive climax, author Peter Benchley vehemently opposed, saying there was no way the audience would believe such a ridiculous ending. ‘Peter,’ Spielberg said, ‘if I have them this long, then the unbelievability factor won’t be a problem.’ Benchley still furiously fought for it to be omitted, objecting so much that Spielberg eventually had enough and threw him off the set.
When watching the film now, there is absolutely no doubt about the fact that Spielberg’s inclinations were indeed correct. Jaws had moved at a sort of horror film pace for its first two acts, and after turning on the adrenaline for its final one, a simple ramming of the shark (think Jaws The Revenge‘s ending. Then again, don’t) would simply not do for an audience’s pay off. By having Brody shoot the oxygen tank in the shark’s mouth, Spielberg accomplished two things. One, a final thrill for an audience which was already on the edge of their seats. Two, a sort of arc for Brody in that he has one less reason to be afraid of the water. Whether Benchley liked it or not, Spielberg did in fact have the audience in the palm of his hand. And that audience has rarely left it since.
3) Zero Dark Thirty (2012)
Kathryn Bigelow’s follow-up to her Oscar winning war film The Hurt Locker is, in my mind, the far superior of the two. The film focuses on the true life set of circumstances which led black ops to the location of Osama bin Laden. All of this is built on the intelligence gathering of mostly fictional intelligence officer Maya (Jessica Chastain) as after many false pretenses, she finally nails the location down pat. I say Maya is ‘mostly fictional’ because screenwriter Mark Boal has said while she is indeed based on a real person, she is actually the algorithm of ‘many other hard working women.’
Indeed, the film is an at times frustrating watch, as two hours goes by with nary a hint of success on her part. However, it is Zero Dark Thirty‘s final half hour, complete with a brilliantly mapped out onscreen raid -told mostly from their POV- that keeps you white knuckled. And while the ending is obvious from the start, it is still a terrifically gratifying moment seeing that -after so much doubt being brought upon Maya from both outside and inside sources for almost the entire film- she can finally crack a smile in the film’s final moments.
2) Aliens (1986)
Speaking of strong, hard working women (okay, I’ll stop with this column’s natural/unnatural transitions), James Cameron has been known to write a few of his own. Take the two pictured here. In Aliens, Sigourney Weaver’s Ellen Ripley goes through hell to protect herself and the little girl we know only as Newt (after saying she didn’t like her name, which was Rebecca). Now in the director’s cut, Ripley is given an even bigger incentive, as she learns her daughter had died from the time she floated off into space until she was discovered by a random space sweep. Supposedly, this plot point was the only reason (well, along with 13 million other ones) why Weaver decided to come back in the first place, and she was none too happy when she discovered the scene of her finding out about her daughter’s fate was cut from the final theatrical cut.
To me, the scene’s exclusion doesn’t take away from the film’s final shot, shown above. After again narrowly defeating and escaping the Queen xenomorph’s clutches, Ripley has a few moments of zen. Curled up with her inherited daughter in front, and wounded but safe father Hicks in back, Ripley is finally free again. Until that damn nihilist David Fincher came along. But that’s another story for another day.
1) Rocky (1976)
Anyone who heard me dissect this puppy with Binge’s very own Luke Norris on our previous series of Aftertaste podcasts knows the exact reason why the ending of Rocky sits comfortably at the top of this list. Nevermind the fact that up until this point, Rocky was already a perfect movie. That a series of moments in the film’s final frames all but sealed itself up as the quintessential Hollywood ending only makes itself that much more powerful. Sylvester Stallone’s Rocky Balboa spent almost the entire film self doubting himself in this moment of a lifetime, while also courting what he sees as the woman of his dreams. After proving his worth to the world, and most importantly himself, going the entire 15 rounds while still standing, Rocky had other things on his mind other than the final decision. He wanted what he fought for. Not the belt. But the heart of the woman he loves.
It is a scene that I still get chills typing about to this day. Rocky‘s final moments dictated that the 70s weren’t all about falling for the wrong crowd’s bad intentions. What makes it even more powerful is the film contains an ending that could be looked at as unsatisfying if it had revolved around the fight itself. Yet, the film’s climax manages to propagate that more than anything, winning the heart of your true love is worth much more than winning a fight. Wait, wasn’t this a boxing movie?
So where does The Witch‘s ending fall? It is far too early to tell. But I do have an in depth column of what it could all mean coming up, which I will release as soon as other people have a chance to see it for themselves. Until then, let us marvel at ten times Hollywood actually got their endings RIGHT. Or, did they?
Moreno, Kupka, and Law kick things off with some TV Round-Up which features thoughts on Ray Donovan and Narcos. This leads to a mini Fall preview where we discuss what we’re looking forward to. This includes Ash Vs. The Evil Dead and Fargo.
Ammon shows up in the middle of Google Voice and makes us do the entire first hour over as he brings up 11/22/63 and other bullshit.
There’s a huge Hottie League update as we look to the Fall for the points to roll in. Kupka describes his ideas for next year’s league which would feature actors and directors. It’s all so confusing.
As a preview to Moreno’s wedding next weekend, Ammon gives his Top 5 wedding moments.
What Did You Watch has shit talking of FANTASTIC FOUR, LOVE & MERCY, AMERICAN ULTRA, THE OVERNIGHT, JAWS, GAURDIANS OF THE GALAXY, and MONSTER’S INC.
0:00:00-Why is there a Kupka sounder starting off the Bingecast? Hmmmmm
0:04:30-Because Kupka is guesting on the Binge, you dumbass! He also makes an announcement that is kind of surprising, but not at all life changing, depending on how you look at it.
0:14:30-TV ROUND UP. The Boys discuss (with somewhat disgust) The League. Drunk History notes are swapped.
0:41:40-Spontaneous Skype Bachelor Party!
0:44:42-TV ROUND UP CONTINUED. Kupka talks Network TV and how he binge (plug?) watches dramas. He also hates shows that are continuations of movies. Picky bastard. Moreno fifes over Gossip Girl. Fall TV 2015 gets an overview.
1:13:16-GOOGLE VOICE. Translation is getting better every day. But not 100% yet.
2:12:25-Lead in from GOOGLE VOICE: MOVIE HOMEWORK: Sling Blade
2:35:34 Law questions the Game Cast. Kupka gets feisty.
2:40:08-Announcement of Movie Homework Theme for the past few weeks. This news will blow your fucking mind! Unless you figured it out or saw the theme mentioned on Facebook already. Then fuck you.
2:41:50-In honor of Moreno’s wedding less than a week away, we bring you the Top Wedding Moments in Movies. D’awwww.
2:55:44-WHAT DID YOU WATCH? Kupka revisits Jaws. Shark still looks fake. Back to the Future sequel ideas are discussed. Moreno dug Love & Mercy, the story about the Beach Boys’ Brian Wilson. Ammon shows his Disney love card with Guardians of the Galaxy and Monster’s Inc. Law watched The Overnight and Fantastic Four. Take a wild fucking guess which one he liked more.
Strap yourselves in folks, as the Binge Movie Aftertaste brings you its biggest show yet. Joined this week by special co-host Johnny Moreno, we interview two people who have had hands in two of the most successful films ever made. And as if that wasn’t enough, there are a few Poltergeist and Steven Seagal stories to also tide you over. What more do you want from us?
The very beginning of the show consists of me catching up with Moreno, as he gives details on how his trip to Wizard World Chicago was, complete with stories of meeting up with the great Adam Simon. How does it feel being someone who doesn’t like comic books roaming around a comic book convention? Moreno gives great insight.
We then get into my interview with the great Carl Gottlieb. Now before people jump down my throats, let me say: I KNOW I forgot to ask about the Indianapolis speech. But pretty much everything else is covered in this thirty plus minutes, as Gottlieb gives great insight to what it was like coming up the ranks with the great Steve Martin and Steven Spielberg. The making of Jaws is discussed at length, as Gottlieb makes sure to give me hell about having not read his book Jaws Log (it has since been bought, so thank you for the recommendation sir). But he kindly gives stories about the film that made us all afraid of the water. Stories about the pressure Spielberg was feeling, how big penny pinchers producers Richard Zanuck and David Brown were, Gottlieb coming on set and writing new dialogue on the spot, and much more. He also gives perceptions about his penned screenplays for the underrated Jaws 2 & 3, and Roy Scheider’s on-set grumpiness during the making of 2. You want Jaws stories? Listen to this interview and be sure to pick up Mr Gottlieb’s book Jaws Log. We thank him very much for his time.
But we are not done. Most shows would stop at that. But we deal yet another deck of interviewing awesomeness as Moreno and I get screenwriter Michael Grais on the line. Grais gives highly animated stories about how Poltergeist came to being and the surprising hilarity associated with Craig T Nelson. Lots of insightful views of being around the late Heather O’Rourke and director Tobe Hooper are shared, as well as the making of the also penned by Grais Poltergeist II. As for Poltergeist III and the remake? Well, we bring it up. But, Grais’ remarks about them say it all.
Moreno then jumps in to ask about one of his childhood favorite films Marked For Death. Grais shares some insane yet also insanely believable stories about Steven Seagal (we’ll never look at Black Rain the same again), and of course where Grais came up with the idea for the film. This needs to be heard to be believed. I ask a little about Grais’ also penned script for Cool World, and then we let him go, leaving Moreno and I in awe over what we just heard.
So what are you waiting for? Listen NOW!
And don’t forget to pick up Gottlieb’s book Jaws Log in stores now.
The past few installments of TWD have been all set-up and very little action. I’ve been complaining that we’re going in circles with the story lines, they’re hanging on to a villain that has over-stayed his welcome, Rick’s face looks weird, Carl is becoming a emo douche, and it’s overall just boring ass shit. That said, there’s pretty much nothing in this issue I enjoyed. The writing was cheesy, the art seemed rushed (look at Carl in that pic below – something just seems…… off), and the cliffhanger made me laugh to myself. For weeks (years?) we’ve been subtly hinted that the walkers were rotting. That they were literally falling apart at the seems. Now they’re evolving? We’re going from NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD to RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD? This doesn’t interest me in the least. For a comic that constantly pushes the fact that it’s not about the zombies – it’s about the survivors, it’s about to become a lot more about the zombies. Perhaps Kirkman wants his DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES moment here but I think it will fail miserably. If this is the next chapter for The Walking Dead comic, I’m almost positive I’ll be tapping out soon.
A 25 Year-Old Question About JAWS
For years I’ve stated that JAWS is the quintessential example of a film being better than the book it’s based on. I haven’t read it since I was in grade 9 and I’m sure it wouldn’t bother me as much now that I’m older and wiser and less full of myself and gassier, but the confusion and disappointment still lingers. There are two things that I always hated about the book: 1) The Hooper and Mrs Brody relationship. Fuck off with this forbidden love affair. There’s a 25-foot shark whooping ass in your neighborhood, deal with that and keep your dick in your pants. 2) The ending. (Spoiler Alert for any asshole that doesn’t know how JAWS ends. For real, you’re an asshole) For 25 years I’ve been wondering exactly how the shark dies in the book. It’s swimming straight for Brody, preparing itself for the ultimate feast, and then just stops and sinks to the bottom. Seriously. I must have read it 30 times in a row, desperately trying to figure out what happened. I asked my teacher about it after I wrote a book report and he had no idea. I asked my brother and he put his headphones back on. The only logical explanation is that the shark bled out from a shitload of harpoon injuries and tapped out. Years of internet research has brought me to that answer being the general consensus. It’s a horrible ending. The fact that Spielberg came up with one of the most exciting/kick-ass film endings of all time doesn’t do the book any favors either. He knew it sucked. It’s quite honestly one of the most anticlimactic finales of all time. Why does it bother me? I’m not sure it does anymore, I just needed something to write about.
Nanu Nanu
There’s not much more I can say to add to the sadness that is the passing of Robin Williams. I wasn’t a fan of his stand-up but Mork & Mindy was still a huge part of my childhood. It’s surprising to me that, as funny as he was, I tend to remember him more for his dramatic work when it comes to film. AWAKENINGS, DEAD POET’S SOCIETY, GOOD WILL HUNTING and THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP are all films that left me in awe of the man’s talents. Before I go, after a week long celebration of the life and work of one of the most memorable actors that has ever lived, let’s all watch him in, possibly, the worst opening credits to any television show ever created. It’s awful. He was amazing.