Lot’s of big news going down this episode so open your ear holes and shut your mouths. Lawlapalooza takes center stage as locations, schedules, and special guests are announced.
TV Round-Up is quick and easy with Big Little Lies, Legion, Crashing, This is Us, Always Sunny, and some other shit.
Movie Homework is done by one of us but it’s the wrong movie. We were not strong students as a whole.
What Did You Watch explodes with KONG: SKULL ISLAND, OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY, THE SALVATION, NOCTURNAL ANIMALS, GET OUT and a third of ASSASSIN’S CREED.
Check out the timestamp for even more stuff I forgot.
0:00:00-Do it.
0:01:34-OG3! So if you’re a Patreon donor, you’re in luck for a donor only show. Thanks for all of your support, cocksuckers. Anyway, maybe there will be a drop/sounder origin story show? What do you think? We actually care about what your fucking opinion is. Don’t get used to it. BIG ANNOUNCEMENT FOR LAWLAPALOOZA LATER IN THE SHOW. BMFML shit.
0:26:08-Law breaks something down that was on Stern recently. Copyright infringement?!
0:32:39-GOOGLE VOICE. A fuck ton. Something special from Nate P. too. Lawlapalooza annoucement!
1:24:19-TV ROUND UP. Moreno is just watching Cheers. Just that. Fuck. Law is still fifing over Big Little Lies. Crashing. Man Seeking Woman and Always Sunny wrapped up their respective seasons. The Replacements, Last Week Tonight, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee. Law’s done. Ammon is on board with Legion, He’s also keeping up with 24: Legacy. That asshole is behind on The Bachelor. THIS IS US. OH SHIT.
1:45:47-MOVIE HOMEWORK: KING KONG. Original or 1976 version? WELL HELL I DON’T KNOW JIM LAW I’M TRYYYING HEREE
1:52:09-WHAT DID YOU WATCH? Moreno finally watched Nocturnal Animals Ammon viewed The Last Samurai and The Salvation. Law saw Get Out, started Assassin’s Creed, and got to the theater for Kong: Skull Island. A dedicated Binger makes a surprise Skype appearance. Law continues his Skull Island review to end the show. Daylight Savings Time is a thing. Fuck Off.
Here’s an idea for an article that has been moving around inside my head since December of last year. With nothing other than superhero movies to talk about -and trust me, I have plenty to say about this year’s onslaught – I thought I would take a break from movie talk and expouse upon this topic while expanding it into an entire article.
People who have been listening to Binge Media for awhile know that if there is one thing that dildo making Canadian and I have in common, it is that we are both massive fans of The Howard Stern. An undoubtedly influential figure of radio, it is highly doubtful that we would be on the airwaves if it were not for his forward thinking of the medium. Firings, motion pictures, inner office turmoil, a set of satellite radio channels named after him, a gig on America’s Got Talent. There is no doubt that Stern has done it all.
So how does this relate to Binge Media? Well, when I first came here, I found myself thinking that in its own little way, Binge Media is just our own mini version of The Howard Stern Show. Each cast member of our little corner of the internet represents a certain niche. And what I believe Law & Moreno have masterfully done is bring people who can all bring different things, so that each show is a different animal altogether. With all this in mind, I have related each member of the site to certain cast members of Stern’s show as relates to their personalities. So have fun reading how I envision each of us assholes being.
First up –
Jim Law/Howard Stern
The first answer would seem to be the most obvious. Binge Media, for all intents and purposes, is Jim Law’s baby. He and Moreno also have this in common with The King Of All Media: they have been fired from their former employer only to turn it around and make their show that much more entertaining. Listening to Law on the air is a lot like listening to Stern from his heyday for a few different reasons. One, he likes to get different people from the network on and expose their weaknesses in a busting balls kind of way. For example, the last time I was co-hosting the Binge Cast with him, Law played the infamous infomercial about where my 4 on 10 nickname came from. I have a feeling I will never hear the end of that little piece of Binge history. It was almost like when Stern’s former producer KC Armstrong was on the air mentioning how he noticed how ‘frumpy’ Dan Marino’s ass was, mere months after taking a lie detector test to see if he was gay or not. A random quote that will be taken to extraordinarily hilarious depths is how both Howard and Binge Media roll. And you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Johnny Moreno/Artie Lange
Ok. I may be going out on a limb with this one but hear me out. I understand Moreno has never tried stabbing himself to death or unknowingly slept with a hooker who asked him for $300 in the morning or is doing heroine behind all our backs – at least that I know of. The off the wall, degenerative lifestyle Lange so off handedly depicted is not what I am referring to here. It is Moreno’s way of inflecting his voice while hammered and trying to get a review out which makes me compare him to Lange. Plus, they have both been known to blurt out a side splitting insult or two.
Ammon Gilbert/Richard Christy
People know Richard Christy as a guy who likes to smoke weed and watch horror movies. People know Ammon Gilbert – as a guy who likes to smoke weed and watch horror movies. To the best of my knowledge, Ammon has not done phony phone calls to clock owners who pronounce the word ‘clock’ as ‘cock’ like Richard has. But I have been surprised before.
Jim Kupka/KC Armstrong
This one was a given. I am convinced there are not two more angry people on the planet than KC and Kupka. For those who have only heard The Howard Stern Show from 2004 on, Howard had a producer named KC Armstrong from 1997 – 2004. KC was a unique individual in that he was a jock in college who ended up studying communications. Somehow, he ended up on Howard’s staff, and pretty soon the signs were appearing of just how angry he was. Armstrong could usually be heard yelling to women in studio to ‘bust those things out’ while trying to convince a woman to take off her top. He would also just yell, and yell angrily. Describe anyone you know?
Mike Batchelor/Stuttering John Melendez
Batch (YAAAHHHHHHHH) is one of those additions to staff who, with both the Binge Gamecast and Sportscast, definitely has a big on air input to the show. But many people don’t know his off air contributions. He has been called on to edit my shows at the very last minute, and has also gotten Luke Norris out of a few jams as well. John…wasn’t that reliable. But the contributions of his off beat celebrity interviews and on air persona -plus some real laugh inducing stammering- made for unique conversations each and every time he was on the air. He also had a big ball of passion about sports, and could often be heard arguing with certain members of the staff about them. Batch is much in the same boat. Though not as confrontational as John, Batch can have an opinion and make sure all of us know about it. And he also stutters. Not really.
Jack Valley/Gary Dell’Abate
Yes. Jack is the official BabaBooey of the Binge Media staff. Seems you listeners have a love/hate relationship with Jack -though it would appear to have swayed more in the love direction since his brilliant Making A Sasquatch series- and Jack revels in both opinions of him. Gary (I hate typing out that dumb last name of his) is much the same way, and he is regularly mocked each time he walks in studio. Jack’s presence, of course, is not to that extreme. But his Patriots love has him spinning that wheel for close to six months each and every year. Gary also got a nickname early on in his time with the show. After mistakenly calling a painting he had bought ‘BabaBooey’ instead of the character’s name BaBa Looey, Gary thought the nickname his ‘Boff’ layed upon him would disappear within a week. Fast forward thirty years later, and he can’t go anywhere without hearing the name yelled at him and his family. In much the same way, if Jack thinks ‘Jack VALLEY is going away anytime soon, he is gravely mistaken about how his ‘Boff’ works things around here.
Luke Norris/Jackie Martling
The final staff member on the list was actually the hardest one for me to do. I went all over the place with Luke, even at one point putting him as Howard’s former producer Scott Einzinger. In the end I went with the endlessly annoying, out for plugs of his stuff former writer Jackie Martling. Now this may seem like an insult, but let me elaborate a bit to try and defend this placement. One, Luke has many other things going on besides his work with Binge, and it sometimes seems like the show is extended five minutes just by advertising his other endeavors. Another example worth noting is Luke’s rants during the infamous five hour BingeCast him and I were on. Jackie would always find himself having to apologize to either his wife (at the time) or the staff themselves for his antics at social gatherings. Luke’s apologized once or twice on the show for things he has done. Though never approaching the annoyance of Martling (I actually LIKE Luke), the comparison would seem to be a stable one.
I know it’s January 9th but, if I have to be honest, I’ve been off the radar for a couple weeks now. I haven’t written anything, I haven’t watched anything, and I haven’t given a single fuck. Now that I’m getting back into the groove of things I thought it would be a good time to revisit some of my favorite moments of the past year. I’ll stay away from my Top 10 Films of the year for right now as we’re going to cover that on the next Binge Cast. This is a more personal list, sprinkled with pop culture. Cool? Cool.
The Howard Stern Birthday Bash
A lot of you know I’m a Stern Super Fan. The last four hours of my Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday work shifts are nothing but listening to the show (and building vans or some bullshit). Other than The Fingering incident that I covered earlier this year, the Birthday Bash was by far the greatest Stern moment of the year. If it was just the David Letterman interview I would sing the same praises, but it was so much more. Robert Downey Jr. yelling at the audience for being inattentive douchbags. Sarah Silverman singing about Robin’s cancer. Bryan Cranston giving a perfect JD impersonation. Dave Grohl. Dave Grohl playing drums with Steven Tyler and Slash. Ryan Phillippe giving a lap dance. Tan Mom getting thrown out. And everything in between. I’ve listened to a lot of hours of Stern over the past year. These were the best four. Maybe ever.
Jim Lawapalooza 2014
This trip to Chicago is always a highlight of my year. There’s always something memorable to come out of the weekend that keeps me laughing for weeks. The time Moreno, Kupka, and I did mushrooms and watched BATTLESHIP at the drive-in. The time I fell asleep at a midnight screening of THE ROOM. The time Moreno fell asleep at a screening of THE BOONDOCK SAINTS II. When Moreno slept in the hallway of my hotel room. The only side-by-side interview Moreno and I have ever performed when we talked to Joe Carnahan while he barbecued chicken in his backyard. Turtle Racing. The Cubs game on the roof-top. They’re seemingly endless and unbeatable. Until this year.
Having Pete MC and TM (two long-time listeners and the creators of some of our best sounders of all time) come all the way out to Chicago to meet us was humbling and fantastic. Partying with them like they were long lost brothers was surreal. It’s hard for me to remember a better time in the past year than sitting around Moreno’s living room jamming with the boys as they kicked out Binge Cast sounder after Binge Cast sounder. Drinking until I couldn’t talk anymore and watching Kupka pass out. Hitting up a Barcade and finishing the X-Men game in one sitting. It was the best weekend I’ve had in a very long time and will never forget it.
Expanding The Site
Binge Media turned 1-year-old in 2014 and it was cool to see how we had hung in there. Having Luke come on to do sports was a breath of fresh air, Nick doing comics made me giddy, and the addition of Garrett rounded us out perfectly. We adopted the daily blog approach and have, in my humble opinion, found our groove. The podcasts continue to grow too. We had weeks with at least five shows available for download and things haven’t slowed down in early 2015. My liver is killing me but Drunk Me says it’s all worth it. Drunk Me is smart.
The Hottie Draft was, and continues to be, one of my favorite things we’ve ever done. Talking shit because one of your hotties showed her ass off in the number one film at the box office that week is an experience you can’t have anywhere else on the planet. Is that a good thing? Fuck yes.
Our core team of Ammon, Jack, Garrett, Luke, Nick, Kupka, Moreno, and myself seriously work our ass off because we love to have a good time. The reward is our listeners/readers. We’d literally be nothing without the people that get us. Maybe one day we’ll get paid. Maybe not. Who cares?
I’ll leave you with some of my favorite movie moments of the year. Thanks for hanging around.
Ammon and Law do their best without the missing Moreno, whom we can only imagine was drunk and forgot to turn his laptop on. Google Voice provides a couple great translations for Ammon to try his luck on, one of which includes a listener review of THE RAID 2. Law breaks down the upcoming Hottie Draft starting on the site at the beginning of April. TV Round-Up features talk of Banshee (BUY IT!), The Following (BUY IT!), and True Detectives. Law hates on THE NUT JOB and falls asleep during ANDROID COP while Ammon loves LONE SURVIVOR, adequately passes the time with THE OUTSIDER, and absolutely destroys Dario Argento’s DRACULA 3D (BUY IT!).