Hayden Panettiere

You’d think with me putting up a poster that size that I would be somehow compensated for plugging Million Dollar Arm, the latest sports movie from Disney. Unfortunately for me, and my bank account, that is not the case. As per usual, at some point I will end up giving Disney more of my money. I have twin three year old daughters, so Disney’s gotten plenty of it. But sappy movies like these get me every time and I’m sure this one will do the same. If my count is correct, this film marks the 57th time that the Mickey Mouse folks have dipped into the sports genre. From the old Herbie movies (yes, I also have to count that piece of shit that Lindsay Lohan was in) to The Mighty Ducks franchise (EMILIO!) to The Game Plan (if you’re a father who has daughters, that movie gets you a little bit, even if it is The Rock), Disney has covered most of the major sports in the world. They’ve even done so without the use of Kevin Costner, who I’m legally obligated to bring up when I talk about sports movies. But don’t worry, he’s set to star in McFarland, set to release later this year. But before that, we’ve got Don Draper. You may know him as Jon Hamm. Set to be released next Friday, Hamm stars in this movie as J.B. Bernstein, a sports agent looking to make a splash by bringing in baseball talent from an untapped part of the world, India. How does he plan to do this? By setting up a reality show called……..you guessed it, Million Dollar Arm. Throw in one of the guys from Slumdog Millionaire AND Bill Paxton. SOLD! Honestly, this movie does look pretty good and I’m always up for a good baseball flick.

But this did get me to thinking. How will this movie stack up against my all-time favorites? Disney has actually released some very solid sports movies over the years, so here’s what I’ll do. Below, I’m going to give you my top five, and a little bit about the movie and why I like it. Then, once again, I’d like to get you involved. I’ll put mine into a poll and let you vote on them, along with an “Other” option as well, just in case your favorite doesn’t match up with one of mine. You can vote until next Thursday. Then, I’ll give the winner the full Binge Media Revisit treatment. But seriously, if you write in Herbie Fully Loaded, I will find out who you are and have you banned from the site. No…seriously….don’t fucking do it.

5. COOL RUNNINGS

How many times in your life have you talked about this movie? It could be one or one hundred, but you know that every time you say it, you say it with a Jamaican accent, or attempt to anyway. And how could you not talk about this movie? It’s about a bobsled team from Jamaica for God’s sake. While much of the film is fictionalized, the story is real and quite amazing, and the final scene where they carry their sled across the finish line is actually pretty awesome. Added to the mix is the late, great John Candy. Picturing John Candy doing anything athletic is enough to make you laugh.

4. INVINCIBLE

Invincible tells the story of Vince Papale, a down on his luck bartender from South Philly, played by Marky Mark Wahlberg. After his funky bunch of friends convince him to attend the open tryout for the Philadelphia Eagles, the story follows his journey at the tryout and his relationship with coach Dick Vermeil, played by Greg Kinnear. Wouldn’t you know it? He makes the team and scores a touchdown in a game against the hated New York Giants. There are a lot of good subplots in this film, one that involves Elizabeth Banks, which I’m always okay with, as well as Papale’s relationships with his friends and his father. The only thing that I wish were real would be a story about another team. I hate the fucking Eagles, man. But the movie still cracks the top five.

3. THE ROOKIE

Perhaps the most emotional movie on this list, The Rookie stars Dennis Quaid as Jimmy Morris, a Texas high school teacher and baseball coach. After making a deal with his team that he would try out for the major leagues if they won the title (which they do), Morris’ dream of pitching in the show becomes a reality in a very heartwarming tale of love, baseball, fathers and sons, and hope.

2. REMEMBER THE TITANS

I honestly flipped a coin between this and The Rookie for the number two spot on this list. This is one that if I come across it on a lazy Sunday afternoon, I’ll watch it to the end. It stars Denzel Washington as football coach Herman Boone in 1970s Virginia as two schools merge, bringing in the black and white aspect. How will the coaches get along? How will the players get along? Spoiler alert: It all turns out okay. Well, except for Gary. Poor bastard. But I will tell you, watching this movie is like watching an old episode of Who’s the Boss?, as you just feel bad for thinking the things you do about the little girl because you know what she grows up to be. But really, the little girl in this movie is Hayden Panettiere and because I’m such a nice guy, here’s a bonus pic.

If only she weren’t engaged to that Russian. And speaking of Russians (kick-ass segue)…….

1. MIRACLE

“Do you believe in miracles?” The best call in sports history from the great Al Michaels pretty much says it all. Miracle tells the story of the 1980 U.S. hockey team as they journey towards their epic matchup with a seemingly unbeatable Russian squad. And it’s got Kurt Russell as coach Herb Brooks, which only makes it better.

So there you have it. Now it’s your turn. You have until Thursday, May 15th at 3 p.m. to cast your vote and make sure to tell your friends about it. If you feel the need to defend your choice, use the comments section below or tweet @THElukenorris and make sure to check back at the end of next week to find out the winner.

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