BingeCast: TV Round Up – Game of Thrones Commentary S7 Ep6
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That’s right, baby. Download now.
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Episode 2 brings some dry meat stumps, weird hump/not-humping and way too much time with Greyworm and his not-greyworm. Law and Freak dissect the latest on Thrones, including their ideas about where the show is headed and just how gross porridge can be. Download now.
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Game of Thrones is back and, yes, I’m watching. No, secret viewing shenanigans here. Batch joins me to talk about “Dragonstone”, the first episode of the show’s 7th season. We discuss some book stuff but not much since the show is beyond the books now. We also talk about how much we love The Hound, Ed “here, pass this” Sheeran and the infamous shit montage. It’s glorious and awful.
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As a companion piece to our Game of Thrones S6 finale commentary, Jack and I decided to cast the Binge Staff and Friends as Game of Thrones characters, on a whim.
Why not? It would serve everyone to check out some cool fan art, but also serve us to slap our friends around.
Have fun cocksuckers!
Why? Cuz he can read a fucking map.
During Making a Sasquatch, Jack Valley spearheaded the hunt for the identity of the person behind the Sass FB account, much in the same way Beric led men into the Riverlands to hunt and bring The Mountain to heal. While neither of those fucking plans worked out, Valley/Dondarrion didn’t give up on their respective missions, no matter how many times they were killed.
The great TM and Tom O Seven Strings seem like a no brainer, and not just because their fucking names are the same. Both travel with their stringed instruments in hand, both travel with a band of outlaws, and both love the ladies. Now, we’re not saying that TM has bastards all over the goddamn realm like Tom O Seven Strings does, but we’re saying it’s possible that he has bastards all over the goddamn realm.
PeteMC is a devious mother fucker, but in his heart of hearts this cocksucker just wants everybody to get along. Also, we TOTALLY BUY that he has, at least once, travelled to the great North (Canada) to slay a White Walker (French Hooker) of his own now and again.
Doran Martell can be defined by a small set of characteristics: basically he is a recluse that plays a FUCK ton of Cyvasse. Only Batch, one of our resident GameCast hosts, can fit this bill. The Dornish kinda seem like they’d be super into the CW network, so really this is a no-brainer.
Melisandre, disciple of R’hllor is someone that the show watchers should probably hate. While she may have resurrected IFOOKINLUVUJONSNEEEW, she still burned the princess Shireen, which on the cosmic scalesstill has her in the negative. Garrett’s opinions can sometimes make him seem like more of a cocksucker than he really is, but despite pressure to conform Garrett maintains his beliefs, just like the Red Bitch does. We’re also convinced that if he really wanted to 4 on 10 could secrete a shadow demon assassin out of his ass.
Stannis (The Mannis) is a mother fucker who will NOT be swayed. Stubborn, cocksure (natch) and bull-headed, our resident GoT show separatist fuuuuckin Supka fits this bill. Also, we have no doubt about the fact that Supka would have a family member burned in order to take supreme power. Cocksucking Kupka is definitely Stannis.
Bastard of Robert Baratheon, possible heir to the throne and been missing for years, Gendry falls to Nick Spears our resident Comic Binge writer. While Gendry’s overall importance might be a lot greater, frankly we haven’t seen much of him. Since Nick has yet to be on a podcast, this just feels right. Plus we don’t think Nick will take offense to that badass helm.
Look, this one isn’t that difficult people. OH HAI Denny Luis works in security. Bronn is a bounty hunter/sellsword. Denny Luis goes to see movies with the Arcade Fire while Bronn fucks a lot of whores. So maybe it’s not that similar, but still, if there’s anyone on the site that can fit the cocksucking bill, it’s OH HAI Denny Luis
Mr. Bob A Dick himself, also known as Jay, is the morally grey Kingslayer for a bunch of reasons. For starters, Jay USED to be known as Creepy 209 guy, but has now proved his worth to the Binge Media world. Also, he fucks his sister, allegedly.
Bald? Check. Vauge European accent? Check. Wordplay? Check. Cockless? Well…we’re 80% sure on that one but otherwise this is super spot on.
If Dorne = Spain then Oberyn = Moreno (simple math you cocksuckers). Seriously though, show Oberyn (ShOberyn?) breathed some life into a really well written character that likes to fight, fuck, eat tacos and listen to Steely Dan. Pretty sure that’s Moreno in a nutshell.
There’s no shortage of big, drunk assholes in A Song of Ice and Fire, so this was a bit tricky to suss out. Ultimately (thanks for that Logan), Law and Tormund Giantsbane share too much in common. Both are from north of The Wall (Canada), both drink like assholes, and both claim they fucked a she-bear. Tormund blesses you with a “happy shitting”, Law’s equivalent is of course, a sounder and surprise poops. They also make shitty jokes like this: “King o’ the Wildlings? Har! King o’ My Hairy Butt Crack, more like.” Good one.
They’re both high pitched cocksuckers and like cats. What more do you want?
Art is a listener who showed up on the Binge scene some time back and has been hiding in the shadows until this year, when the Binge Movie Fantasy League brought him out of hiding and onto Facebook. Even then, he was still shady AF. Once he appeared on a Game of Thrones Season 6 commentary, he showed a wealth of knowledge, not only about Westeros, but Planetos as a whole. He may be as knowledgeable as a maester, but his shadiness awards him no maester chain.
Pycelle is a devious fucker in both the books and the show. It’s clear from the outset that Pycelle is an actor, putting on a show for everyone at King’s Landing to see. However, his weird demeanor could be due to the fact that he’s so fucked up on MILKOFTHEPOPPY. Ammon is a flip-flop-wearing high-ass mother fucker who would totally be hitting that shit every night. They’re like twins.
If you stuck around for the after-credits scene on the last BingeCast you’d know who our special guest is for the final Game of Thrones commentary of the season. If not, prepare to have your balls slapped. Jack Valley and Law welcome this newcomer with open arms and discuss things such as fighting a shitload of children, Frey pie, lack of dicks, Cersei’s transition into a 21st Century pop star, and the overall rank of this season within the show’s history. Thanks for hanging out with us all ten episodes and we’ll talk to you next year. Cocksuckers.
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Oh man is it ever hard to contain ourselves during this one and actually concentrate on saying words instead of sitting back and just absorbing it all over again. We do find time to figure out which character we’d like to have a beer with, skip through a couple more lurking theories around the web, and talk about penis. Everybody is always talking about penis. Enjoy and see you next week for the last comm of the year!
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It’s hard to hold back our excitement for this coming Sunday’s episode of Game of Thrones and concentrate on the episode on hand but we do our best. There is a lot of what we’ve come to expect this season here, violence, cock, and more violence, so there’s that. TM, and Jack Valley join Law as they try to figure out what the whole point of the last year’s worth of Arya storyline, why Tyrion sucks so hard this season, and when they decided to add a superhero. Do it.
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