Our lovely Game of Thrones is back with season 4 and we couldn’t be more excited. Golden hands, two swords, and bisexual Morenos aplenty in the season premiere with a few killings spliced in here and there. The show did a good enough job updating the audience with a “previously on” preview and then kicked right into gear, setting up what we’re thinking is going to be the best season of the show to date. Law and I do some book to screen comparisons while also giving some background as to what the “White Book” is all about, Dornish cultural charms and why Joffrey is a cunt (his mom and uncle-dad fucked each other).
There’s tons of stuff to get through this week and we waste no time in getting through our new voicemails. Listeners provide reviews of BOYHOOD, JOE, NOAH, CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER, and the new pirate TV show, Black Sails. Ammon explains all this jargon with creepy-yet-exquisite ease.
Moreno Ammon, and Law discuss the latest GOONIES 2 rumors, give a mini Game of Thrones preview, and touch on some other TV Round-Up with Review, From Dusk Till Dawn, The Following, and others. We also let the love for Nicolas Cage flow and try to figure out what it’s gonna take for him to become a major player in Hollywood once again and look back on the first week of the Hottie Fantasy League.
Moreno re-visits SUPER 8 and then he and Ammon finally watch THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG. Ammon adds reviews for IN THE BLOOD, INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS, and revisits FACE/OFF, WOLF OF WALL STREET, and THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISOU. Law gets wasted and forgets to review anything.
If you’d like to win a blu-ray copy of KNIGHTS OF BADASSDOM, send a pic of yourself in the worst cosplay of all time to admin@bingemedia.net. Worst one wins. Winner will be announced on next week’s show.
As Moreno and Ammon leave Law to fend for himself, Kupka and MovieFreak save the day and fill any drunken void you might have expected. The boys kick things off with plenty to say about The Walking Dead and where we’re at with the television show and the comic at this point. Spoiler alert – the TV show sucks dirty ass-crack. From there we have some discussions about what makes a perfect audiobook and why, sometimes, they can ruin a great story.
Then we make Kupka sit through the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trailer and pick apart it’s wretchedness. During What Did You Watch, Kupka reviews SABOTAGE while MovieFreak watches FROZEN, GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL, and CON-AIR for the first time.
To end the show we re-visit our Walking Dead hate and make predictions about the season finale and the future of this train wreck.
Armed with a bucket of beer, two turntables, and a microphone (nobody knows what the turntables are for), the Binge Cast boys are back to sexually assault your head holes.
TV Round-Up rocks out with hate for The Walking Dead and satisfaction with Hannibal, Bates Motel, and The Following. Law and Ammon argue over From Dusk Till Dawn (The Series) as they try to convince Moreno one way or the other as to how the show is.
Moreno re-visits THE DEPARTED. Ammon checks out HOMEFRONT, NON-STOP, and MORTAL INSTRUMENTS: CITY OF BONES. Law sits through MUPPETS MOST WANTED, CONTRACTED, and FREE TO PLAY.
Welcome to the drunkest night of the year. Minutes after we finished the 2014 Hottie Draft we recorded this gem. After stumbling through TV Round-Up we have one of the drunkest reviews you’ll ever hear when Moreno tells us about THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL. Ammon and Law are no better while talking about VERONICA MARS and by the end of this mess I can barely even understand what’s going on. Have fun, I guess we did.
THERE WILL BE SPOILERS IN THIS GODDAMN ARTICLE. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. I’M ABOUT TO SPOIL THE SHIT OUT OF SOME SHIT RIGHT HERE.
I fucking love me some Game of Thrones. If you’ve been listening to the podcast the last few years, that’s no surprise right? I’ve read each book at least twice, listened to the audiobooks multiple times, and the show is kept on in the background when I’m working at home. I recite lines from the books daily. I want to follow the Old Gods and have a pet direwolf. I often daydream about sharpening my sword with a whetstone as I take a break from roaming the countryside. I’ve bought t-shirts, lithographs, stickers and I even drink wine out of a muthafuckin’ chalice. If I ever have another kid, I will name him Jon Snow. If it’s a girl, Jon Snow. Fuck it.
Some time early last year, while “surfing the web” (people still use that right?) to quench my Song of Ice and Fire thirst, I stumbled upon Marc Simonetti’s deviantArt gallery. Marc is an illustrator who develops cover and concept art for books, video games and TV ads. Going through a ton of fan art on message boards and other legitimate artists who’ve done commissioned ASOIAF artwork, I’ve gotta say that in my opinion, Marc’s is the best. His interpretation of the material transports you right into the heart of Westeros.
Most of these images can be found in the 2013 calendar of ASOIAF, which you can buy here. Why would you buy a 2013 calendar in 2014? One, because it’ll help us out, and B) because the artwork is pretty solid.
Check out Marc’s deviantArt gallery hereand his website for other illustrations here.
SERIOUSLY. I’M GOING TO SPOIL SHIT. PICS AFTER THE IRON THRONE BECOME SPOILERY.
Among with the crows
Brandon Stark goes roof hopping around Winterfell. That should end well. The tall, broken keep is where Bran climbed to find the Kingslayer raw dogging his sister, Queen Cersei. The brightness of this piece really gives you a sense of how cold and snowy The North is. Put some fucking shoes and a coat on Bran.
The Greyjoy Castle
Here’s a rider just lollygagging around the Greyjoy Castle, the biggest castle on the Iron Islands, as befits one of the Great Houses of Westeros. You can see a little bit of the network of bridges that connect all of the keeps, a distinctive feature of the castle.
The House of Dust
I looked but I’m not sure why it’s called The House of Dust when it’s The House of the Undying, although I think it’s referred to as the Palace of Dust at one point. Dany gives into the warlocks offer to accept counsel. She shows up to their crib, they show her a bunch of visions and try to take her life, only to have Drogon burn the fucking place to the ground. I like the juxtaposition of the dark and menacing look of the Undying and the soft, light contrast of Dany. Drogon looks bigger than I thought he would in this scene, yet not as small as in the season 2 finale of the show.
The Great Sept of Baelor
The person at the bottom really gives you a sense of how big this thing is. The Great Sept of Baelor is the building where the High Septon resides. Think The Vatican. Without all that pesky boy fucking.
The Iron Throne V1
This is an earlier illustration of the Iron Throne. Another instance where you can admire the attention to detail and sense of scale. The Iron Throne is made out of swords from fallen enemies of the old dragon kings (Dany’s ancestors). But if you look at the swords jutting out in comparison to the Knights of the Kingsguard, those are pretty fucking huge swords.
The Iron Throne V2
According to Jar Jar Martin’s blog , any iteration of the Iron Throne just hasn’t matched what was in his head. Working on the upcoming The World of Ice and Fire, a historical volume for ASOIAF, Marc and Jar Jar once again went over the details on what makes the Iron Throne, the Iron Throne. This was the result, and as per Martin, Marc “has come closer here to capturing the Iron Throne as I picture it than any other artist to tackle it.” Martin calls the Iron Throne, “massive. Ugly. Assymetric. It’s a throne made by blacksmiths hammering together half-melted, broken, twisted swords, wrenched from the hands of dead men or yielded up by defeated foes… a symbol of conquest… it has the steps I describe, and the height. From on top, the king dominates the throne room. And there are thousands of swords in it, not just a few. This Iron Throne is scary. And not at all a comfortable seat, just as Aegon intended.“
Flag Bearer
As we use a white flag for surrender or as a sign of peace, the rainbow flag acts as the same. Perez Hilton would be really confused in this world. Here, in book 5, Reek (rhymes with meek) is traveling to visit the Ironborn to ask them to surrender Moat Caitlin.
A New Face
In Book 4, Arya finds herself across the Narrow Sea to the House of Black and White, which is the headquarters of The Faceless Men, a guild of assassins. The hundreds of faces are used to disguise the assassin, especially when they’re really fucking ugly.
The Kingsmoot
After Theon Greyjoy’s father King Balon dies and Theon (his heir) is presumed dead in Book 4, the Iron Islanders call a “Kingsmoot” in order to find out who’s going to rule. While succession laws call for the King’s eldest brother to take the Seastone Chair, Balon’s daughter and Theon’s sister Asha is having none of it, as she feels she’s entitled to it. I like the hip cock, it shows that she means business and maybe wants it where the poo comes out.
Atonement
Things really come to a head in King’s Landing during Book 4 and 5. With Joffrey dead and Tommen now King, Queen Cersei is on top of the world, until she becomes a falling down drunk and almost ruins the capital city. Her viewpoint character is one of my favorites in the book, since you can see how deluded with power she is. For her multiple indiscretions, which includes fucking a lot of dudes (which is a no-no) and conspiring to kill Queen Margaery, the High Sparrow has Cersei atone for her sins by doing the naked walk of shame from the Great Sept of Baelor to the Red Keep. If it’s possible, you actually feel bad for her. It’s also one of the funniest chapters in the whole series when reading how all of the citizens of King’s Landing actually feel about the Queen Regent. I think someone actually says, “I wouldn’t fuck her with your cock.”
Drogon and Dany
Turns out, this is the Brazilian cover for Book 5, A Dance with Dragons. I love this shit, though I think if you pick this paperback up, it kind of spoils a big moment. The odd thing about Drogon in this piece is that he apparently hasn’t reached his full size, yet he still looks pretty fucking big here. This is such a cool scene in the book as we get to see Drogon tear shit up and Dany ride him like a gangsta.
Welcome to the most spoilerific spoil-fest that was ever spoiled for you. Seriously, there be spoilers below, if you’re not up to date on any of these shows (The Walking Dead, Homeland, Sons of Anarchy, Dexter, Game of Thrones, Boardwalk Empire, Breaking Bad) just leave now. And slap yourself.
I’m surprised there’s not a trendy name for this wave of killing off main characters in television. It seems if you have a hit television show nowadays you have to delete at least one major player per year to keep things interesting. I wonder if ‘Happy Days’ would have done even better if they had killed the older brother instead of just forcing us to forget about him. ‘M.A.S.H.’ pulled this shit off before you were born and it went off like a shart in church. Today’s television is different though. It’s all about keeping the audience guessing and truly making us believe that nobody is safe anymore, even Emmy winners. Let’s take a look at the past year’s fallen and how they contributed to the golden years of the small screen.
DISHONORABLE MENTION: Brian – FAMILY GUY
I had this as a legit entry for about three weeks. That’s as long as Brian remained dead. The easy thing about killing off cartoon characters is that you can just pencil them back in when you figure out you made a stupid mistake. I didn’t really expect an animated network show to have the balls to pull off something like this. Poop to Seth MacFarlane for proving me right.
HONORABLE MENTION: Deb – DEXTER
It was really, really hard to write “honorable” and “Dexter” in the same title but if anybody on this show deserves some respect, it’s Deb. Everything else about this season was pure garbage. Having Dexter survive the storm of the century was one final kick to the nards in a long line of nard kicking. And to think, a few seasons ago, this show had one of the greatest deaths of all time. Literally, from that moment on, this show has never been the same.
10. The Governor – THE WALKING DEAD
It’s hard to rank this exit any higher as everybody knew his reign of terror had to come to an end at some point. Still, it sure was fun to see, and watching the end of one of television’s greatest villains is always must see. Just a note, the next major villain to come across the survivors makes The Governor look like one of the Brady Bunch. Peter, to be specific.
9. Clay – SONS OF ANARCHY
Any other season and this fights for the top spot on the list. This season, however, Clay felt like a burden to the story. There’s so much going on with the club, and the transgender family drama, and the ice cream shop, and Robocop, and Bobby’s huge penis that it was way too easy to forget about Clay’s giant cranium rotting away in prison. So when he gets out and looks as if he might complicate things more – just shoot him in the neck. Works for me.
8. Catelyn – GAME OF THRONES
Personally, this death might have rocked me more than any other here. As for the impact on the show, she just happened to be there. The Red Wedding was set up to kill Rob (we’ll get there) and Catelyn might have even made it out alive had she not lost her shit and started killing people of her own. If I do this list at the end of 2014 it might strictly be filled with ‘Game of Thrones’ characters. Hold on to your butts.
7. Harrow – BOARDWALK EMPIRE
His death matters less to the future of the show than what he did immediately before it. Accidentally killing Chalky’s daughter is going to be the last ingredient of the shit-storm that will most definitely touch down next season. What truly sucks here is that Harrow was the one dude you could feel morally justified in pulling for on this show. You sympathized for him, you admired his badassery, you kind of cringed every time he looked into the camera, and now you get to mourn for him. Get over it.
6. Hershel – THE WALKING DEAD
This one is going to be felt for a while by the survivors. His daughters are going to be a mess, Rick is going to take back the reigns, and nobody is going to have a voice of reason to turn to in times of desperate need. This will all lead to chaos and the eventual end of the world. Way to go get your head lopped off, Hershel. Seriously though, this is going to lead to an interesting dynamic to this story when comparing it to the comic book. In the book it was Tyreese that was beheaded. His alpha male role was soon replaced with Abraham, another fantastic character from the book. Now the TV show will house both characters at the same time. Fighty.
5. Tara – SONS OF ANARCHY
Who knows where this is going to lead other than a sure-bet clusterfuck of a finale. Jax might get arrested early but there’s no doubt the majority of the next season will be him finding out who did this and why. Does that mean he’s going to shoot his mom in the neck on the last episode? Probably, but I expect 90% of the rest of the cast to go down before her.
4. Brody – HOMELAND
The importance of this death works two ways. 1) It’s the only reasonable ending to this arc. Brody was an enemy to everybody in the world by the end. He literally had no country to run to. It was either spend the rest of his life in Carrie’s closet or accept his demise. 2) Now what the hell do they do? If it ended forever after this moment I’d have no choice but to deem it a great overall show. While it lost it’s way in the middle, the entire first season and the last half of this past season were fantastic television. Now they have to continue without their Emmy award winning lead and introduce an equally interesting storyline to keep us glued. I think I’m already out.
3. Hank – BREAKING BAD
I almost switched this pick with the one below it. One (I) could argue that Hank’s death set the stage for Walt’s. Without one you might not have the other. And while Walt does eventually pay the ultimate price, I think it’s Hank’s murder that convinces him to set everything right in the end and take his fall gracefully. I look at it like this – Hank’s death stung a lot. Walt’s made me feel warm an fuzzy. I was wearing a onesie.
2. Walt – BREAKING BAD
In the end though, what is, arguably, the greatest television show ever without a definitive stamp on it’s ending (fuck you, Sopranos)? As I said in the last paragraph, Hank’s death inspired Walt to scrounge up just enough more bad-ass to leave this world with a bang and take any and all that deserved it with him. You can rank this moment where you want on your own list but I hope we can all agree it was a fitting end to something special.
1. Rob – GAME OF THRONES
Simply put, I know what’s to come, which is why I know the importance of losing the King in the North. And without spoiling anything about the next season, The Red Wedding will not be forgotten. This next season of ‘Game of Thrones’ is going to be epic and untouched by anything else on the small screen. Probably even the big screen. Winter, bitches.
Law and Ammon love Matthew McConaughey and Mark Wahlberg and have no reason to hide it. This fact comes out in spades as the boys review LONE SURVIVOR and DALLAS BUYERS CLUB during this week’s Binge Cast. To make things interesting they also thrown in reviews of AMERICAN HUSTLE, THE COUNSELOR, PRISONERS, BLACKFISH, ZODIAC, and a revisit of WRECK-IT RALPH.
There’s also two new Google Voice transcripts, a look ahead to the future of TV Round-Up, and a detailed description of Cameron Diaz humping a windshield like a sucker-fish. Must listen.
We hope you want a lot of movie reviews to end out your 2013 because Law, Ammon, and Moreno have watched a ton of stuff for this week’s show.
Ammon reviews WHITE HOUSE DOWN, FROZEN, KINGS OF SUMMER (with Moreno), and re-visits MOMENTO. Moreno checks out FRUITVALE STATION and 2 GUNS. And Law takes in THE BUTLER, RUNNER RUNNER, DON JON, OUT OF THE FURNACE, and ANCHORMAN 2. At least one of these films squeaks it’s way into one of our Top Ten of the Year lists, which will air in a couple weeks.
That’s not all either: Ammon has started season one of GAME OF THRONES and tries to decipher one of the worst Google Voice messages of all time. Movie Homework for next week will be BIG ASS SPIDER and this week’s MH (STRANGE DAYS) will be up on New Year’s Day.