Friday Night Law: My Favorite TV Characters of the Past Year
The Fall TV season is upon us and I couldn’t be happier. Filling time at work by watching seven reality shows a night is starting to turn my brain into mushy poop shit. So before we kick off the good stuff with Boardwalk Empire this Sunday, I’m going to remember the past year’s worth of great shows (minus Breaking Bad because it’s done and I could easily fill this whole list just from that show and shut up) and make a list of my favorite characters. You’re going to read it and comment below because you love me and we’re best friends. Go.
10. Jamal Al-Fayeed – TYRANT
Some of the acting on Tyrant can leave you wanting more but I stand by my opinion that Jamal is as solid an evil mother fucker can get. Every time he’s on screen he’s either killing somebody, fucking somebody’s wife, or drinking like an asshole and scheming to kill or fuck somebody. A true role model.
9. Michonne – THE WALKING DEAD
The Walking Dead took a nose dive for me a long time ago but there’s no denying the ability of Michonne to single-handedly save any given episode by kicking ass and looking cool. She’s the best character in the comic, she’s the best character on the show. Just the way it should be.
8. Alex ‘Tig’ Trager – SONS OF ANARCHY
Again, I’m not in love with Sons as much as I used to be (fucking Jax) but the show still entertains on higher levels than most shit I watch. Tig wins over my heart because he’s so goddamn unpredictable. I imagine his lines of dialogue and action scenes in the script are just left blank and then he just acts out whatever crazy shit is going on in his head at that moment.
7. Enoch “Nucky” Thompson – BOARDWALK EMPIRE
Nucky wouldn’t have been my first choice for this show for the last few (every?) seasons but let’s just say my favorite characters on this show seem to find a way to not extend their contracts in some of the most horrible ways. Well played, Nuck, you’re finally the coolest kid on the block.
6. Abraham Setrakian – THE STRAIN
Each week The Strain leaves me wanting more. More Setrakian. More nail guns being fired by Setrakian. More gibberish being mumbled before every head lopping by Setrakian. More fedora’s on Setrakian’s dome. Just….. more.
5. Lucas (Not) Hood – BANSHEE
Not Hood is the best. Whether he’s banging every girl withiin a 300 ft radius or beating up entire gangs with his bare hands. Remember when I said Sons of Anarchy still entertained me? It’s like watching paint dry compared to this shit. Banshee is the ultimate “Dad” TV show. I’m a dad. Do the math.
4. Detective Rust Cohle – TRUE DETECTIVE
I don’t think I’d ever want to partner with the dude but Rust sure is interesting to watch from afar. Which is better though, flashback Rust or present day Rust? I’d have to go with present day. Dude just pounds beers, fucks with cops, and continues to be obsessed with death stuff. And he looks homeless.
3. Ray Donovan – RAY DONOVAN
Ray gets better week after week on the current season. Complete badass, fucked up family, worst friends ever, broads on his nuts all day, and he still gets shit done. I have a feeling he would hate me though. I don’t know why, really, just a gut feeling (because I’m a douche).
2. Tyrion Lannister – GAME OF THRONES
After a lackluster season three, Tyrion got his ass back in the spotlight for season four and delivered on every level. I laughed with him (not at him, you discriminating fucks), I cried with him (not really, I am incapable of tears), and I felt his pain (I was drunk every night I watched). The only dude on this list I would hug for hours on end, whether he wanted to or not.
1. Lorne Malvo – FARGO
Everything about this show was unexpected. What should have been a less-superior spin-off of a classic film ended up being one of the best things on television in years. Billy Bob had a lot to do with that. His sarcastic, sadistic, and insidious portrayal of Malvo was easily my favorite thing on the small screen this past year.