Here’s our final commentary for Return of the Jedi! This time Law and I invite one half of the Sounder Twins, PeteMC, to tackle the fun and gloriousness of Episode VI. Listen as our disappointment increases at what a sissy Han Solo becomes; laugh with us as R2D2 forgets that he can fly; marvel at the fact that Pete might’ve drank his own piss.
Welcome back to yet another addition to Binge Media’s Star Wars coverage. Though at this point, we are all getting exhausted of it. My bosses have dropped hints there is a little too much of The Force. Jason is more annoyed than usual. Even Anonymous Announcer Guy loses it in this week’s intro. Let’s not sever ties, though. Star Wars is on all of our minds, as the new addition to the universe is merely days away from being released. So of course Jason and I HAD to bring lead Adventure Amigo David Mayne in to finish discussing the released Star Wars features, specifically Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. We also predict what to expect from a little movie coming out called Star Wars Episode VIIThe Force Awakens.
Some things discussed:
How is the prequel trilogy like Indiana Jones 4?
How bad is Portman in this series?
Can the final half of Revenge of the Sith make up for a lackluster prior movie and a half?
How much are we looking forward to The Force Awakens?
Will Jason’s nightmare of discussing this franchise ever end?
Will Luke be bad?
Is the practical effects vs CGI factor THAT big of a factor?
Until December 18th knocks us on our asses, may the Force, and the beer, be with you.
Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Cillian Murphy, Ben Whishaw, Benjamin Walker, Tom Holland, and Brendan Gleeson
In The Heart of the Sea is one of those movies you take out what you bring in. If you go in expecting a lavishly produced production full of heart stopping visuals sandwiched in between some pretty corny dialogue, then that’s what you get. If you expect a cheesy film that tries too hard to live up to its fact based, Moby Dick type storytelling tropes, then that is what you get. Me, I am somewhere in between. In The Heart of the Sea did not blow me away by any means. But when it was over, it was easy to look at the person next to me and say, ‘I went with it.’ Still, I was not even slightly moved emotionally, and I thought director Ron Howard would have brought a little more than tried and true story beats to this adaptation of a very well liked non fiction basis for the novel Moby Dick.
The film begins with a battle for captaincy between Owen Chase (Hemsworth) and George Pollard (Walker). The way this conflict arises is drastically different than the source material suggests, though it is essential in how Howard wants to tell his story, in that ties are severed only to wrap up in a bow later. It is from here we meet the rest of his crew, including future Spider-Man Holland, as well as Murphy, who has a small but nonetheless crucial role. To Howard’s credit, he lingers on the crew just long enough for us to get to know them, and story beats come up that do nothing more than endear us to them. This is not a criticism, as I enjoy trivial mentions of past loves if it means we get to know that character. Here, Howard prepares us for the quick cutting of action to come with the paint brush strokes of a man who wants to tell a sort of real life fairy tale.
Though once the action kicks in, In The Heart of the Sea feels almost nothing like a Ron Howard formed narrative. Shots such as reflections of men through a dead whale’s eye and the splattering of whale blood on unsuspecting faces are uncommon in his well established thirty year plus repetoir. I will say the sense of scale established, as CGI ladened that it is, is truly astounding. Waves look like they are from another planet, traveling in such high towers of wet astonishment that there are times you actually fear for the characters’ lives.
But that is part of In The Heart of the Sea‘s problem. With 2013’s Rush, the previous Howard/Hemsworth collaboration, there was such an intimate story to tell that Howard’s tendency to lean on cheesy flourishes to advance the story almost enhanced it. Here, he uses so many of the same conceits in the film’s first hour that the astonishment of its final leg works against it. It also doesn’t help that the script (by K-Pax script writer Charles Leavitt) is full of such predictability that you probably know how In The Heart of the Sea is going to end before you even see it.
In the end, there really is not too much bad to say about In The Heart of the Sea. My heart certainly skipped a few beats, and Howard’s smart Bay-esque approach to its stylized action made for a mostly thrilling time. It’s just when it was over, I didn’t really feel anything one way or the other about anything portrayed or performed onscreen. As opposed to immediately following Rush, when I wanted to learn more about what those characters were about in real life circles, In The Heart of the Sea, apart from its towering waves and whale hunting form of escapism, had a hard time resonating with my normally easy to reach heart. Its ambitiousness in telling a story based upon an already famous story is its ultimate downfall because of its inability to go even further.
We are coming down to the wire folks. We are mere days away from the release of perhaps the most anticipated film of our, or any other, generation. Yes, Episode I can definitely compete with being up there in terms of how bad all Star Wars fans wanted to see it. But the whole after effect of the film did not settle well. I kept telling people, and promising myself, that it was indeed a good movie. And I will hold true to that statement. However, with all that being said, I do not want the feeling I had in 2002 be the one I have in 2016 and beyond. In 2002, I was not sure if I wanted another Star Wars film if it meant a few years more of waiting for that definitive one. And even worse, if this one’s failure meant for the potential of that one movie which would eventually see the formation of Darth Vader – letting us down as well
Background: I have said it at least a dozen times, and I will probably say it at least a dozen more. I will probably always hold 1977’s original Star Wars film as the best out of the entire saga, if only for the simple reason that it did not have to live up to the hype of being a Star Wars film. By the time Attack of the Clones rolled around, there was not as much joy in the film world’s atmosphere as much as there was pessimism. Word had come out that fan backlash had caused George Lucas to do away with more storylines involving one Jar Jar Binks, and fan adulation of a certain character caused major changes to the original clone origins. Catering to fans’ needs is the biggest catch .22 in film circles. On one end, you are pleasing those who pay their hard earned money to see your project. On the other side of the coin, you are tinkering with your original vision, which can in turn hanker your final product.
Though there are those who claim Lucas was never that big a visionary to begin with. Sure, he could create worlds and environments with all forms of characters inhabiting them. But it was only when he brought in true effects artists, as well as his Oscar winning editor/ex wife Marcia Lucas, to tinker with it did Star Wars end up becoming as big a success that it was. And it took Lucas bringing in Lawrence Kasdan for the full potential of character development in this space opera to take place. I don’t feel there is any doubt that the combination of Irvin Kershner’s directorial touch and Kasdan’s sharp pen is what made a scene like Han and Leia talking about dirty hands come off as well and, perhaps most importantly, seemingly natural that it did.
So without Kasdan or Kershner at his disposal, Lucas took on the task of writing and directing the love story of the saga. Basically, Attack of the Clones could not dilly dally around and skip emotional beats. It was vitally important for the mother and father of Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia to fall in love right in front of our eyes. Sure, he brought on one of his old Young Indiana Jones Chronicles buddies Jonathan Hales to spice up the romance aspect of the story. But the God’s honest truth was there was no caking, or for that matter cloaking, this love story with action oriented frosting. It was front and center, and there were questions if the man who brought us Jar Jar could even come close to pulling it off.
As for me, I was almost immune to feeling one way or the other. I was not front and center with my fandom, and in fact had been spending months singing the praises of one Sam Raimi’s foray into comic book filmmaking called Spider-Man. Much like The Matrix did in 1999, Spider-Man had stolen a lot of the thunder behind my very own Star Wars hype train. Nonetheless, I gathered four geeky friends and headed toward the local theater for the film’s very first midnight showing. Despite the fact I had to work at 4 the next morning.
What I Thought Then: Sitting back in the ‘defense of Star Wars’ chair was not an easy thing to do. Especially after seeing Attack of the Clones. Here we had a petulant, creepy, bordering on maniacal character named Anakin Skywalker. A character whose journey toward the dark side we were being asked to think of as a tragedy, but in the end came off as almost anything but. As Anakin and Padme, showing damn near no chemistry, would bicker, snicker, and fiddle with the love tree, we were stuck in what I have always classified as the least Star Wars feeling film out of the entire Star Wars saga. Though there was a nice looking, intense Clone War battle to feast our eyes upon, it would always be interrupted by either Padme falling perfectly out of her ship or a fake Christopher Lee fighting a fake Yoda. And by fake, I do not mean faux. What I mean is Lucas had almost completely abandoned any form of physical interaction at this point, and watching a digital Yoda jump around as if he was swinging a laser sword on a pogo stick, while fun and gave the audience something to laugh at, did not exactly instill any beats I had felt before. For all the shit Episode I gets, I can defend its existence by saying it is the most Star Wars feeling out of the entire prequel trilogy. Jar Jar was not exactly Jawa levels of background fodder. But it still took place inside the fantastical universe we have always been familiar with, giving it an aesthetic that I still classify as unsleek and Star Wars-ish.
With Attack of the Clones, I felt none of that. Between Count Dooku, a character who people outside the Star Wars canon had no idea of existing, running around with plans to the Death Star, and Hayden Christensan riding a fake CGI animal -poorly, I might add- I did not like where I was, and was not in any hurry to return. By the time its DVD release rolled around, I went to the S’s alright. But instead chose to pick up Spider-Man before Star Wars Attack of the Clones. 25 years after dazzling audiences with his original vision, I as a former die hard fan was stunned at what I had just seen, and that bitter taste would last for quite some time.
What I Think Now: In rewatching Attack of the Clones today, I am far less harsh on it than I was. Much like Anakin in The Phantom Menace rubbed me the wrong way until I realized Jake Lloyd’s personification of him is probably exactly how a slaved nine year old boy would act, I grew to become more comfortable with the man who once again took the brunt of criticism in the outpouring of hate, Hayden Christensan. I have said it in every podcast and I will say it again, I think the direction Christensan was taking had more to do with what came across onscreen than how he personified it. I began this article saying that there was not going to be much more to latch onto in Attack of the Clones except the love story which takes place between the future parents of Luke and Leia. And in my mind, with the exception of one look Natalie Portman gives while they are sitting in grass, I did not feel an ounce of emotion. Even now it is hard to watch.
Funnily enough, the storyline I DID enjoy much more this time than last was the one involving Obi-Wan Kenobi and his surveying of the clone army’s construction. Now take into account how much I enjoyed this section of film, and think about how much more I would have liked it had there been a cloned character I gave two ounces of feelings about. Jango Fett -and this is not a knock on Temuera Morrison- is just not a strong enough presence for me to even care. Not to mention, how and why Palpatine even chose him to be the main clone is never even explained. Hell, Lucas’s original plan of Lando makes more sense the more I think about it. But Lucas changing this pivital storyline points to the fan service these films ultimately ended up being instead of the organic feeling story it should have been. Jango’s inclusion is pandering toward that cult of audience who for some reason clung onto a jet pack wearing bounty hunter named Boba Fett in the last series. The same section of fans, mind you, who claim Fett went out ‘like a bitch’ in his final moments of Jedi. Did we REALLY need to see the shot of Boba holding his father’s helmet after the Geonosis battle was over? Did we really need to sit and listen to that kid’s cheering as each shot at Kenobi in the asteroid field is followed by another? As good as I find that asteroid field sequence to be, I am always distracted by that child’s laughter as his father tells him what he is going to do next. And the final thing we take away from this sequence, which is Boba figuring out that Han uses the same hiding technique in The Empire Strikes Back that Kenobi uses here, is reaching higher than a 5’0 person reaching for a 10′ basketball hoop. I’m not buying it.
Still, Attack of the Clones was released the year one of my best friends got married, and I was even able to stand as an usher in, what is an unadulterated inhumble of opinions, one of the coolest karate gi/lightsaber holding outfits of all time. That night still stands out as one of the best wedding nights I have ever attended, and I will never forget it. I am also pleased to say they are still married to this day. And from what I hear, their house is barely big enough to contain their excitement over this month’s Star Wars event.
In Conclusion: Well, what else can I say? Attack of the Clones still holds that mantle of being my least favorite film out of the entire Star Wars saga. Though again, I am not as harsh on it as I once was. While The Phantom Menace‘s lightsaber duel brought up my hopes for another great one, I have accepted the fact that the ending battle accomplishes what it needs to accomplish. And, the love story is what it is. Still, in looking back at Attack of the Clones, should a fan say ‘they have learned to live with it,’ as opposed to ‘it lived up to all my expectations.’ Especially since my expectations were hardly up there to begin with? Unlike 13 years ago, today I like and accept Attack of the Clones. But I sure wish I could love it.
What happens when you get four drunk Bingers (Bingers?), three of them are Supka’d, one of them is ACTUALLY Supka and throw on Empire Strikes Back? Another BingeCast commentary of course!
In this installment, the boys try to figure out what Cloud City actually is, why Lando is smooth, if Luke actually sped up Yoda’s dying process and more.
PJ the Intern was sick of waiting around for me to update this thing so he took it upon himself to make things right. That’s why we pay him the big bucks (not a dollar). All magazine covers, box office, and whatnot should be in order so check out where you stand. Here comes Kupka! Click the link below for the entire spreadsheet.
Come celebrate Moreno’s birthday with us as Ammon, Law, and Pete MC try heir hardest to make Moreno stick around for his own party. Pete has an incredible new sounder to kick off the Christmas season. Moreno drunk dials a STAR WARS hotline. Google voice turns into a knighting of one of our favorite callers. And we watch a bunch of movies and shit. Including THE GOOD DINOSAUR, THE 33, THE FINAL GIRLS, EX MACHINA, JURASSIC WORLD, HOME ALONE, PLANES, TRAINS, AND AUTOMOBILES, Fargo, South Park, Ash vs. Evil Dead, The Affair, and Jessica Jones.
One thing I have noticed around Binge Media is the lack of Star Wars coverage. So what did I do? After being away from each other’s microphonic paths (eww) for more than a year, the head of my former internet home Adventure Amigos himself, Dave Mayne, has brought his Star Wars (and beer oriented) knowledge and fandom with him for this series of three Binge Movie Aftertastes. Just like Luke Norris and I did with Rocky, Dave is joining myself and the lovely Jason Morris on an epic journey through the Star Wars franchise. all ending with an epic review of The Force Awakens, coming your way December 19th from Walt Disney Pictures.
For this first show, we will look at Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back. Setting the stage for the next thirty five plus years, the first two films of the franchise are generally looked at as the best of the series. But do we think so?
Some things we cover:
Why does Obi Wan Kenobi sacrifice himself while in battle with Darth Vader on the Death Star?
What was Han doing before joining the rebels?
Why is Yoda so high when we first meet him in Empire?
Why is Luke so damn whiny?
Colt .45, anyone?
Why does Jason’s son know more about this franchise than all three of us?
Why doesn’t Chewbacca get a fucking medal at the end of Star Wars?!
What in one of our opinions is the best performance of the entire series?
Who does Jason consider to be the stupidest characters in the whole saga (hint: it’s NOT the stormtroopers).
Why did Jason watch the saga out of order?
So strap yourselves in and get ready for another ride down Star Wars lane. Don’t forget to check out all of Dave’s douchebaggery on the Adventure Amigos and myriad of podcasts onDark Barn Radio.
Here we are again Bingers. Halfway done. Halfway there. Halfway….to the Force Awakening.
The relatives have left. The leftovers are gone. The football is over.
Why not settle in for a brand new Binge Star Wars commentary?
Join Garrett (for about an hour. Slacker), Jack Valley, and Batch as they wax & blab while watching Star Wars Episode IV: The New Hope. Or as it is really called, Star Wars.
There is no doubt Star Wars changed cinema forever. But how did it change our lives, and why is Jack looking for Tom Brady in the medal ceremony? Find out in this grand addition to the Binge Commentary bin, and be on the look out for The Empire Strikes Back next week.