Garrett’s Grumblings

January 3 2017

Garrett’s Grumblings – Why Does Disney Just Not Get It When It Comes To Star Wars?

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There is a scene in 1980’s The Empire Strikes Back which is one of many that brilliantly encapsulates all that is right with the entire Star Wars series. Luke has been rescued from a snow creature (or Wampa, for you assholes who need specificity), and word has spread that the Empire knows where they are. Princess Leia gives a motivating speech, sends the Rebel fighters on their way, and Luke himself is taking off for another fight against the Empire whose Death Star he’d destroyed the film before. However, these aren’t ships he’s fighting this time. We feel rumblings, and debris is falling on Artoo as he tries to roll to safety. What can be causing these riffs? One look through a Rebel’s binoculars answers the question, as huge, monstrous Imperial Walkers (or AT-ATs for you same assholes) are on their way to cause destruction. This is a brilliant set-up for what eventually becomes one of the series’ many classic moments. It is foreboding, and downright scary what these Rebels are going to be fighting against.

Now compare that scene with how the Walkers are introduced in the latest ‘Star Wars Story’ Rogue One. Rebels -or what would eventually become Rebels- are making their way through a forest laidened land. Trees are broken, and without any heed of warning, no more than 25 feet away, lie a set of the same exact Walkers. No warning. No set-up. Just a moment designed to make people cheer in their seat. In essence, an easy lay.

It is scenes like this which perfectly embodies my issues with the current crop of Star Wars movies Disney has ladened upon us. What’s more, is these are scenes I tried my damndest to defend from ever happening when Disney purchased Lucasfilm in 2012. Arguments were made that Disney would not know what they were dealing with. That Donald Duck would eventually be seen wielding a lightsaber. Well, while the latter has not happened yet, it is of my opinion that the former is happening before our eyes.

The build-up to 2015’s Episode VII: The Force Awakens was something I had not experienced at anytime in my life. Each and every trailer of that film was greeted with at least one tear from me. The specificity of which how JJ Abrams was treating the material with great care did a lot to back up my claims that the series was in good hands. For example, when rumors of the Millennium Falcon making an appearance in the movie were made viral, Abrams responded with denials of said rumors -with the note set firmly on the famous chess board from the Falcon.

However, when the film was finally released, I could not help but feel cheapened by what I’d seen. In essence, The Force Awakens feels like a highly expensive fan film. Sure, rumors of Han’s death had surfaced well before the film was seen. But watching that scene again last week, I cannot help but notice just how poorly staged it was. What should have been the emotional crux of the film felt like anything but. The bridge, Chewbacca from above, the long awkward pause before the slash to the gut. All of these things add up to a scene trying so hard to pull heart strings, but in essence losing all the organic feelings the previous six films had developed. No matter how bad The Force Awakens wanted to be A New Hope, it failed, and failed badly. And don’t even get me started on how awkward the scenes between Han and Leia are. People give Marion and Indy’s scenes in The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull a hard time. Watch the Han and Leia scenes again, and you will see that Abrams missed the boat even more when it came to getting two iconic characters back together.

I guess what I am getting at is everything with these new incarnations of Star Wars feel too manufactured on hindering on nostalgia to work as narratives. Each and every character in Rogue One feels torn out of the cliché manual one at a time, and people clamoring for Vader to be ‘bad ass’ got their wish -kind of. I’m sorry. That entire scene is clouded in the same smoky shit that people gave Lucas a hard time for in Yoda’s grandiose scene in Attack of the Clones. Why oh why, in a film which takes place mere weeks before Episode IV, is Vader Force choking rebels, throwing them against walls, and slicing through the hull that made its first appearance in 1977? Not to mention a line that makes Vader’s final scene in Revenge of the Sith look like Hamlet. This IS the same lumbering character we would see in the next episode -or is it half episode-or is it story? I just don’t know anymore. I guess Tarkin’s appearance would classify as bringing about an arc which leads to the next film. Yet each time that CGI monstrosity appeared onscreen, I was distracted by its blood shot eyes, and all the slickness that the real Peter Cushing was not. In fact, between him and Princess Leia’s declaration of hope that closes the film, I felt bad I did not have my PlayStation 4 controller near me. It seemed these computerized characters were telling me it was time to advance levels.

And that is the saddest part of all. Instead of these stories feeling like they organically belong in the Star Wars universe, things are being done just to show they can, without any thought being given if they should. I know I sound like Dr Ian Malcolm here, and hell, no one seems to care as this latest *cough* story *cough cough*, continues to be atop the box office for three weeks in a row as I write this. But the easy thrills these films generate are starting to wear on me, and the absence of any feeling as I walked out of both movies makes me think they just don’t get it.

Or, maybe it’s just me.

October 25 2016

Garrett’s Grumblings – Binge Media Expanding Its Horizons By Covering This Year’s Texas Frightmare Weekend May 5th-7th

Garrett Collins Film, Garrett's Grumblings 4 on 10, Dean Cundey, Fright Night, garrett collins, halloween, jurassic park, keith david, Shannon Elizabeth, Texas Frightmare 17, the thing, Wilford Brimley

thumbs_elizabeth-shannon How’s it going CS’ers? Hope your week is starting well and the 18 hour or so Bingecast is helping said week go by even faster by moving in and out of your ear holes at an expected drunken pace. I also hope you are saving some of that fright feeling for the rapidly approaching Halloween holiday.

Anyway, let’s get down to business. I am making this post to kind of announce something Binge has been toying with getting into for quite awhile. There have been suggestions that we start covering some conventions. Now I cannot speak for my bosses over here. But I can only assume that the reason they resisted was because they started this site as more a way of continuing doing their podcasts and bringing friends along to help enhance their network than some other site which covers conventions. Many sites do that, and Binge would not be sticking out if we fell on that same exact bandwagon.

But when the opportunity to go to the Texas Frightmares Convention in May came along, I pretty much begged and pleaded to Law and Moreno that we cover it. Now the coverage is not going to be the same type of coverage you are used to from other sites. There will not be ten people from the site there to cover each and every panel, and get interviews with each and every celebrity which comes our way. The staff there representing the site will be me, myself and I. And I will not say there WON’T be interviews and coverage of certain panels. But instead of each one getting their own page, I will more than likely just include them in one or two articles that will wrap up the event.

With all that in mind, if any of you cocksuckers are in the Dallas Texas area, May 5th – 7th is going to be something truly special. And not just because your friendly ol’ 4 on 10 is going to be there.

Some highlights from this convention include:

A 35th Anniversary Celebration of John Carpenter’s The Thing, featuring Keith David and Wilford Brimley, among others.
A reunion featuring the principle cast of Tom Holland’s 1985 original vampire next door flick Fright Night. Including writer/director Tom Holland, Chris Sarandon, William Ragsdale, and yes, Stephen Geoffreys.
The appearance of one Shannon Elizabeth.
The Hills Have Eyes 40 Anniversary Celebration, featuring Jim La…I mean, Michael Berryman.
Did I mention Keith motherfuckin’ David?
Jurassic Park, the original Halloween, and Back To The Future trilogy cinematographer Dean Cundey.

And sooo much more, some has still not been announced yet. Go here for updates on upcoming guests, and join their Facebook group. And of course, keep checking in with Binge Media and The Aftertaste for more updates and interviews.

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May 19 2016

Garrett’s Grumblings – Binge Media as The Howard Stern Show

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Here’s an idea for an article that has been moving around inside my head since December of last year. With nothing other than superhero movies to talk about -and trust me, I have plenty to say about this year’s onslaught – I thought I would take a break from movie talk and expouse upon this topic while expanding it into an entire article.

People who have been listening to Binge Media for awhile know that if there is one thing that dildo making Canadian and I have in common, it is that we are both massive fans of The Howard Stern. An undoubtedly influential figure of radio, it is highly doubtful that we would be on the airwaves if it were not for his forward thinking of the medium. Firings, motion pictures, inner office turmoil, a set of satellite radio channels named after him, a gig on America’s Got Talent. There is no doubt that Stern has done it all.

So how does this relate to Binge Media? Well, when I first came here, I found myself thinking that in its own little way, Binge Media is just our own mini version of The Howard Stern Show. Each cast member of our little corner of the internet represents a certain niche. And what I believe Law & Moreno have masterfully done is bring people who can all bring different things, so that each show is a different animal altogether. With all this in mind, I have related each member of the site to certain cast members of Stern’s show as relates to their personalities. So have fun reading how I envision each of us assholes being.

First up –

Jim Law/Howard Stern

The first answer would seem to be the most obvious. Binge Media, for all intents and purposes, is Jim Law’s baby. He and Moreno also have this in common with The King Of All Media: they have been fired from their former employer only to turn it around and make their show that much more entertaining. Listening to Law on the air is a lot like listening to Stern from his heyday for a few different reasons. One, he likes to get different people from the network on and expose their weaknesses in a busting balls kind of way. For example, the last time I was co-hosting the Binge Cast with him, Law played the infamous infomercial about where my 4 on 10 nickname came from. I have a feeling I will never hear the end of that little piece of Binge history. It was almost like when Stern’s former producer KC Armstrong was on the air mentioning how he noticed how ‘frumpy’ Dan Marino’s ass was, mere months after taking a lie detector test to see if he was gay or not. A random quote that will be taken to extraordinarily hilarious depths is how both Howard and Binge Media roll. And you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Johnny Moreno/Artie Lange

Ok. I may be going out on a limb with this one but hear me out. I understand Moreno has never tried stabbing himself to death or unknowingly slept with a hooker who asked him for $300 in the morning or is doing heroine behind all our backs – at least that I know of. The off the wall, degenerative lifestyle Lange so off handedly depicted is not what I am referring to here. It is Moreno’s way of inflecting his voice while hammered and trying to get a review out which makes me compare him to Lange. Plus, they have both been known to blurt out a side splitting insult or two.

Ammon Gilbert/Richard Christy

People know Richard Christy as a guy who likes to smoke weed and watch horror movies. People know Ammon Gilbert – as a guy who likes to smoke weed and watch horror movies. To the best of my knowledge, Ammon has not done phony phone calls to clock owners who pronounce the word ‘clock’ as ‘cock’ like Richard has. But I have been surprised before.

Jim Kupka/KC Armstrong

This one was a given. I am convinced there are not two more angry people on the planet than KC and Kupka. For those who have only heard The Howard Stern Show from 2004 on, Howard had a producer named KC Armstrong from 1997 – 2004. KC was a unique individual in that he was a jock in college who ended up studying communications. Somehow, he ended up on Howard’s staff, and pretty soon the signs were appearing of just how angry he was. Armstrong could usually be heard yelling to women in studio to ‘bust those things out’ while trying to convince a woman to take off her top. He would also just yell, and yell angrily. Describe anyone you know?

Mike Batchelor/Stuttering John Melendez

Batch (YAAAHHHHHHHH) is one of those additions to staff who, with both the Binge Gamecast and Sportscast, definitely has a big on air input to the show. But many people don’t know his off air contributions. He has been called on to edit my shows at the very last minute, and has also gotten Luke Norris out of a few jams as well. John…wasn’t that reliable. But the contributions of his off beat celebrity interviews and on air persona -plus some real laugh inducing stammering- made for unique conversations each and every time he was on the air. He also had a big ball of passion about sports, and could often be heard arguing with certain members of the staff about them. Batch is much in the same boat. Though not as confrontational as John, Batch can have an opinion and make sure all of us know about it. And he also stutters. Not really.

Jack Valley/Gary Dell’Abate

Yes. Jack is the official BabaBooey of the Binge Media staff. Seems you listeners have a love/hate relationship with Jack -though it would appear to have swayed more in the love direction since his brilliant Making A Sasquatch series- and Jack revels in both opinions of him. Gary (I hate typing out that dumb last name of his) is much the same way, and he is regularly mocked each time he walks in studio. Jack’s presence, of course, is not to that extreme. But his Patriots love has him spinning that wheel for close to six months each and every year. Gary also got a nickname early on in his time with the show. After mistakenly calling a painting he had bought ‘BabaBooey’ instead of the character’s name BaBa Looey, Gary thought the nickname his ‘Boff’ layed upon him would disappear within a week. Fast forward thirty years later, and he can’t go anywhere without hearing the name yelled at him and his family. In much the same way, if Jack thinks ‘Jack VALLEY is going away anytime soon, he is gravely mistaken about how his ‘Boff’ works things around here.

Luke Norris/Jackie Martling

The final staff member on the list was actually the hardest one for me to do. I went all over the place with Luke, even at one point putting him as Howard’s former producer Scott Einzinger. In the end I went with the endlessly annoying, out for plugs of his stuff former writer Jackie Martling. Now this may seem like an insult, but let me elaborate a bit to try and defend this placement. One, Luke has many other things going on besides his work with Binge, and it sometimes seems like the show is extended five minutes just by advertising his other endeavors. Another example worth noting is Luke’s rants during the infamous five hour BingeCast him and I were on. Jackie would always find himself having to apologize to either his wife (at the time) or the staff themselves for his antics at social gatherings. Luke’s apologized once or twice on the show for things he has done. Though never approaching the annoyance of Martling (I actually LIKE Luke), the comparison would seem to be a stable one.

Garrett Collins/Robin Quivers

Ok, I’ll bite the bullet………………

April 26 2016

Garrett’s Grumblings – Ten Movies Which Were Unexpected Hits

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Given that there was not an Aftertaste last week due to some crazy scheduling issues (sorry about that), I thought I would do a Grumblings column about a subject which has been on my mind for quite awhile. Hollywood is a crazy machine. One that is in constant need of repair, as every once in awhile, an ingredient gets in the machine and it has no idea of how to fix itself. Despite the consistent onslaught of fads which are easy to grasp onto (comic book movies, space movies, teen comedies), Hollywood has always had a ‘if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it’ mentality. By the way, that is not a criticism. It is just a statement on where their state of affairs really lie, as all their resources are used to outline when things like the next ten movies hit, and hit like buzzsaws, all but forcing those making the big decisions to take notice.

A year that revolves around one film, with an unexpected one coming up from behind and sweeping the masses off their feet, is always a beautiful thing. Stars are made, new directors have guaranteed careers, and there are films for the general public to chew on that they generally wouldn’t taste to begin with.

10) The Witch (2016)

Budget: $3.7 million

Box Office Gross (so far): $25.2 million

I’ll start with the most recent example first. The Witch had gathered some steam during a roll out on the festival circuit, receiving one good review after the other in the process. Also, much like he jump started the career of Clive Barker three decades ago, novelist Stephen King gave the movie cred to people who don’t normally read reviews. Daily, almost hourly, a sponsored ad from The Witch would show up on my Facebook feed with a quote from King saying it ‘scared the hell out of’ him. This endorsement was enough to make audiences cough up, at the time this article is written, a shade over $25 million at the box office. The word of mouth behind The Witch was outstanding, eventually leading it to become perhaps the surprise hit of the year. Of course, with outstanding word of mouth comes outstanding expectations, and some people felt let down by the subtle film which unfolded in front of them. Truth be told, if you go into The Witch with the only expectation of being entranced by a dark story with ever so slyly inserted supernatural elements, The Witch will keep you up at night. As for those who want ‘jolt scares,’ I point you James Wan’s way.

9) Juno (2007)

Budget: $7.5 million

Box Office: $231 million

Just what WERE the expectations of a film written by an ex-stripper whose random blog post became the basis for what was originally supposed to be a published memoir and nothing else? Well, Jason Reitman (son of Ivan) certainly saw potential in her subsequent script, as he took Diablo Cody’s words and turned them into the teen pregnancy film of the decade. Not that there was much of a competition for that title. Armed with parents played by masters at their craft Allison Janney and JK Simmons, Reitman just pointed the camera at his young star Ellen Page and let her go off. With dialogue which would make members of a Gilmore Girls writing session blush, Juno had just the right mixture of sentimentality and outright comedy to make it work. After grossing $231 million and garnering four Academy Award nominations (only winning for Cody’s Best Original Screenplay), Juno won many hearts and made Ellen Page a star, while establishing Reiman as a director to watch. Word is Reitman, Cody, and Charlize Theron (Young Adult) are reteaming for another project, already making it one of my most anticipated films.

8) Open Water (2003)

Budget: $500,000

Box Office: $52 million

Based on the true story of two stranded divers left behind by their tour boat, Open Water had the benefit of a kick ass trailer that some would argue built better suspense than its subsequent film did. Still, the impact the film had in its initial release is one that all independent filmmakers strive for. While I haven’t seen it for quite a clip, I remember really being into Open Water for its brutality on the characters’ senses. Once they were left behind, I imagined myself being out there amongst all the predators under my feet of the grand ocean below, and felt a sense of dread for them. Especially of note is how this was almost a stepping stone for Lionsgate, as the year after they would have a certified hit with a little film called Saw. And the rest, is history.

7) Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Budget: $125,000

Box Office: $42 million

In some ways, Night of the Living Dead is a misunderstood film. People seem to think that it was the first zombie film, which in essence is not true. There were plenty of zombie films out in the era, like The Four Skulls of Jonathan Drake and Doctor Blood’s Coffin. However, these were almost takes on Frankenstein, as corpses were being brought back to life through someone else’s volition. There had yet to be a movie about an unknown phenomenon which made people into creatures thirsty for blood, and hungry for flesh. Enter George Romero’s classic dark tale, of which we are still feeling the after effect today. Before Night of the Living Dead, you would be hard pressed to find not only a little girl stabbing her own mother to death, but also a black protagonist. Earlier scenes of him slapping down Barbara notwithstanding, we as an audience are looking for a way, ANY way, for him to survive the attack. And the way the film ends, while not as shocking today, must have had audiences in 1968 running for the exits out of fear it was on their doorstep. Yet, over four decades later, they keep coming back for more.

6) Saw (2004)

Budget: $1.2 million

Box Office: $103 million

I mentioned this little ditty a few numbers back, so you knew it was eventually going to find its way here. Filmmakers dream of stories like this. Director James Wan and writer Leigh Whannell wanted nothing more than make a student film about two people locked in a stinky bathroom. If you watch the condensed version of the final film, it has the aura of being made by someone who would eventually make quite an imprint on the industry. Since Saw‘s groundbreaking release, Wan has gone on to make The Conjuring and last year’s billion dollar grossing Furious 7. While ripe with flaws (as outlined in my revisit of it from last year), Saw still has the power to get under your skin, and Wan’s quick cutting sensibilities are certainly on display here. It is not hard to see how a little more than a decade later, he would fine tune his craft toward blockbuster success.

5) Halloween

Budget: $325,000

Box Office: $47 million

Now, the name Halloween is synonymous with horror behind a spray painted white William Shatner mask. But before October 25th 1978, it was just a day where kids dressed up and got candy. Quite frankly, I find it hard to believe that it took Hollywood this long to make a film out of the potentially terrifying holiday of Halloween. After Psycho and Night of the Living Dead, there was only one horror movie whose story revolved around a holiday, and that was Black Christmas. We’ve all heard the story of how Halloween happened. Producer Irwin Yablans had an idea about a serial killer stalking babysitters on Halloween, wanting to (horrifyingly) call it The Babysitter Murders. Carpenter brought in his main squeeze at the time Debra Hill to help spice up the script. And the rest, as they say, is history. Halloween held the record for the most dollar for dollar successful horror film until 1999, when our next entry told the hiking story heard around the world and quite literally stole its mantle.

4) The Blair Witch Project (1999)

Budget:$60,000

Box Office: $248 million

I still remember the experience of seeing this movie like it was yesterday. I had just gotten off a long shift at a Berkeley resort and was looking forward to this film I had heard so much about. However, the way I found out about it was rarely, if ever, done in the late 90s. It is very hard to launch a viral campaign that captures the public’s imagination because for the most part, everyone is on to them. A particular one, with a scavenger hunt put on by none other than Heath Ledger’s Joker for 2008’s The Dark Knight, immediately springs to mind. Yet, in 1999, this type of marketing was unheard of. Somehow, maybe it was via the many entertainment magazines I read back then -which should have been an immediate tip off- I had gotten word that the Blair Witch was indeed real, and my interest had been spiked. I logged on my at the time dial up connection and scoured the internet, looking at photos of Heather and Josh, complete with full in depth stories about what happened to them, and building an in universe sort of unsolved mystery. Was this witch the cause of it? That was what I went into the sticky soda floored theater to find out. The movie in front of me did very little to solve the mystery, but the ride it took me on is something I will not soon forget. The fact the mystery was not solved, in some way, enhanced the experience.

A few years ago, while interviewing co-director Eduardo Sanchez on the matter, he told me the viral campaign was indeed the idea of studio Artisan Entertainment. Of course, word of this ‘little horror film shot in the woods’ got out, and pretty soon the entire cast destroyed the mystery by appearing daily on the talk show circuit. Still, the impact of The Blair Witch Project, much like Night of the Living Dead, is still causing rippling waves to this day.

3) Friday The 13th (1980)

Budget: $500,000

Box Office: $59 million

Much like Halloween, Friday The 13th started as just a brim of an idea. After a series of kids movies he made flopped, director Sean S Cunningham was at a crossroads of what to do. His experience producing the grimy and disturbing Wes Craven directed horror film The Last House on the Left gave him a little notoriety, and he used this fact to his advantage by taking an ad out of magazines and newspapers promoting Friday The 13th as the scariest movie you will ever see. After the ads gained a little bit of steam, Cunningham set out to make his little camp counselor film, and the result was a shoe string budgeted film that comes off as a generally more violent version of John Carpenter’s Halloween. Who would have thought, over 35 years, countless sequels, video games, and franchise crossovers later, Friday The 13th would still be going strong.

2) Napoleon Dynamite (2004)

Budget – $400,000

Box Office – $46 million

2004 was quite a unique year for indie filmmaking, as obscure hits were almost the norm. First there was Saw. But when you talk about obscure. you have to mention Napoleon Dynamite. The movie is undoubtedly one of the most unlikely hits to ever happen. Its cast is made up of mostly unknown actors. Yet before the world knew it, Napoleon Dynamite was a cultural phenomenon. T-shirts asking people to ‘Vote for Pedro,’ action figures of Napoleon with a tether ball, and bumper stickers with ‘Give me some of your tots’ printed on them were being sold everywhere. The film is an interesting watch, with no real narrative driving the story, instead using nonsensical situations involving Napoleon and his ‘friends’ to move the plot forward. As much as I like the film, I still wonder to this day how it caught on. There is no real likable character to speak of, and this includes the title character. Yet, from the moment he wins the talent show crowd over with his unusual dance, to him finally getting to play tether ball with what I concluded to be his future female companion, Napoleon Dynamite, for what it lacks in structure, makes up for it with a hell of a lot of heart.

1) Rocky

Budget – $995,000

Box Office – $225 million

rocky

Now, Luke Norris and I have spewed many, many words about this film, and entire franchise. So I am not going to talk TOO much about it here. But I would be remissed if I didn’t mention the sentimental piece of meat beating populace film known as Rocky. A grimy, down and dirty sports world fairy tale, Rocky‘s onscreen story is far from an unfamiliar one. But how writer/star Sylvestor Stallone was able to edge his way into the role, even as millions of dollars were being flashed in his face to turn it over to any one Hollywood star, is a model which needs to be commended. Rocky didn’t have to be as low budget as it was. But Stallone’s insistence on using his integrity instead of his money hungry hand added on to the film’s entire experience. Watching Stallone in Rocky is like watching Hugh Jackman in X-Men or Daisy Ridley in The Force Awakens. We are watching a star being born, and with it, a character that would continually remind us what successful independent filmmaking can accomplish when done right.

April 12 2016

Garrett’s Grumblings – Just How Cool Is It To Hate Something Before It Releases?

Garrett Collins Daily Blogs, Film, Garrett's Grumblings batman v superman, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, christopher nolan, David Goyer, David S Goyer, garrett collins, man of steel, star wars, Star Wars Rogue One, zack snyder

By the time this article posts, varied opinions of Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice will have been discussed on these very airwaves, and people will either say they feel vindicated at what a hunk of junk they had just seen or praise it due to the way Zack Snyder apes panels for the sake of visual flare. No matter what you feel, chances are you will either disagree with my feelings (likely) or run with the one way of thinking you have had since the movie was announced.

Let’s examine that last sentence, shall we? As I have outlined in our character retrospectives leading up to this release, in the years most people my age have grown up in, there have been dreams made about it, action figures displaying it, and halted attempts at getting it made. I bet even people in the 60s, people who were watching Adam West Plunk and Pow Cesar Romero’s mustached Joker on a weekly basis, were also reading Superman comics, imagining what would have happened if the two collided. This was a movie sixty plus years in the making. So why the hell has it been met with such a huge backlash ever since the team-up was finally announced back at 2013’s Comic Con?

Well first off, some people outside the business I talk to just cannot wrap their heads around how the hell Batman has a chance against a seemingly impenetrable alien from Krypton. Before people start calling out all the ways this is possible, let me get to the next bit of contention. Just who was behind the film to begin with.

Man of Steel is a love it or hate it movie for most people. It is also the movie that sent Christopher Nolan to a place where he still hasn’t crawled out from. Apparently, if stories from that film’s making are to be believed, it was Nolan who was dead set against setting up Superman as a sort of misunderstood Earth destruction hazard. Enter director Zack Snyder and writer David S Goyer. Two people who are certainly contentious amongst those who follow the behind the scenes aspect of film, they pushed and pushed for the end of Man of Steel to happen the way it did, as they were convinced they could pay it off. What they did not count on -and what Nolan was right about all along- is for people to not go for the ending as a means to justify what they were setting up. So automatically, they were up against a wall. Should moviegoers have at least given the film a chance? Even after a generally well received Comic Con panel a couple years ago, which revealed the ‘do you bleed’ line, and ‘Batfleck’ eventually warming the public up to his side, the aura of hate surrounding it could not be ignored. Even Moreno, during a podcast where we showed him the first Batman V Superman teaser trailer for the first time, said ‘I almost feel bad for DC in a way, because they just cannot seem to get it right.’

What is it about film that makes us have such knee jerk reactions to it? I know, it is an odd question for someone like me to ask, as I have been on a pretty recent tear about the new Rogue One teaser, which was released last week. But what I want to make clear is that my issues with this particular film have nothing to do with wanting to bash it. I just see a piece of media calling itself Star Wars and yes, there are some of those walkers we know all about. But each and every archetype on display in the trailer almost sickened me. As unjustifiable as that may seem, Star Wars being turned into a yearly commercial commodity instead of a magical experience without any (or too much) quality control makes me feel like I have a viable reason to not like it. But again, is that hate? I sure as hell do not bash the trailer with that intention. I just do not like being pandered to.

I do not want to act like I am writing something and then pretend I am practicing what I preach. The types of hate inflicted on a weekly barrage of trailers for movies which sometimes do not come out for at least a year after their initial release is a trend which is unfortunately not going away. People have their own methods of madness, as in their heads they justify their stance by ‘knowing’ how and where to approach a film’s making. But unless we have the status of a Nolan, a Snyder, or even a (gulp) Goyer, we unfortunately have no say in how it plays out. A backlash against Man of Steel‘s ending may have been what created Batman V Superman to begin with. But the excuse of ‘this is a whole new Superman for a whole new generation’ is not going to hold any water for people wanting to hate you to begin with. And yes, this goes for me and Rogue One as well.

March 16 2016

Garrett’s Grumblings – The 10 Most Satisfying Movie Endings

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I guess I can officially be classified as ‘the list man’ around the Binge offices. If you listened to that five hour barrage of drunken stupidity known as the Binge Cast from about a month ago -yyeeeppp, THAT one- then you are well aware of my love for The Witch. While giving my verbal review of the film, I proclaimed it to contain one of the most satisfying endings I have ever seen on film.

This proclamation got me thinking. Not only about why I hadn’t paced myself in the beer department, as my final beer was on its final legs at that point-but also this: If The Witch is going to one day make my list of ten most satisfying endings -and after another viewing or two, I wouldn’t be surprised if it did- it will have to go up against these ten bad boys of cinema. The below list contains a little bit of everything genre wise. But after so many times of walking out of a movie theater cursing out writers due to a thrown together ending -hello The Call– I thought I would put the best parts of those final reels to the test.

Warning: All of the titles I mention below have either pictures of their finales or detailed descriptions of them. Proceed with caution.

10) Heat (1995)

heat-01

Michael Mann has certainly been getting a ton of references in both my podcast appearances and articles of late. But how can he not? The, uhhh, man, has put together some great films, and an argument could be made that 70% of his filmography could have been sitting comfortably in this spot. But in the end, I decided on Heat for two reasons. One, it is one of his most accomplished works in terms of action and dialogue he has ever done. Also, the synergy that came with having both Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino in the same film, at this exact point in their careers, was satisfying in of itself. The way they came together for a cup of coffee right after Vincent Hanna (Pacino) pulls Neil McCauley (DeNiro) over is far from by the numbers. Why didn’t he take him in? Because Vincent wanted to see where he was coming from, and realized in many instances, they were one of the same. That’s what makes the film’s final moments satisfying. Vincent has won. But he knows in a lot of ways, he lost, because he destroyed a part of himself.

9) Seven (1995)

seven

Along with The Blair Witch Project, this film will forever live atop my list of favorite film going experiences (another list?). One, it has one of the most startling -yet brilliantly set-up- jump scares I have ever seen involving a shackled to his bed drug dealer. But David Fincher’s up front, nihilistic film moves along at a leisurely pace for a good while, as Mills (Brad Pitt) and Summerset (Morgan Freeman) investigate a series of vicious murders, with ‘John Doe’ always having the upper hand. That pace changes as soon as Doe turns himself in. We are then on the end journey with the two detectives, as they take Doe to where his final piece of the puzzle will inevitably be put in place. Wrecked with suspense when a van pulls up -perhaps my favorite single moment of the entire movie- the audience is on the edge of their seat as the driver gets out — and leaves a box. I will not say anymore, other than the fact that going to the movies and seeing the ‘bad guy’ win was a very rare thing in the 90s. Yet Fincher’s insistence -at the expense of a defiantly against it studio- of his film’s final few frames put a permanent stamp on our minds. It made us think about not only how fucked up Doe was, but also just what we would do if put in the exact same situation as Mills. And if he had a choice about whether or not to do what he did.

8) Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (1988)

Yeah, I went a little against the grain with this pick. But I feel I do have a pretty good reason why. As was outlined on a recent Bingecast Movie Homework, Steve Martin’s Neil Page spends almost the entire film trying his damndest to get away from John Candy’s shower curtain ring selling Del Griffith. It gets so demanding on Neil, that writer/director John Hughes plays a bit of short hand, as he at one point shows Page standing in his cozy motel room, gazing at Griffith, who was unable to afford a room. Griffith is trying to make the best of the situation, talking to himself, while also trying to stay warm in his car as snow falls around him. Finally, we hear Martin’s voice. ‘What did I do to get hooked up with this guy?’ We ask along with him, but are also thankful they did indeed find each other, as it had resulted in some of the funniest comedy bits from the entire 80s.

By the end of the film, Page finally is able to separate himself from Griffith, saying in closing, ‘tell (his wife) I said hi. I feel like I know her.’ ‘Will do,’ Griffith replies, so softly that it is almost cryptic. After a train ride which sees Page waving goodbye and sighing a deep sigh of relief, Griffith meets him at the next station (whoa, he travels FAST!) and proceeds to tell an inquiring Page that his wife has been dead for eight years, and he in fact doesn’t have a home. The moment in of itself is a heart tugger, and the above image is the perfect metaphor for where and how, after all their travelling, they eventually ended up going to Thanksgiving dinner in tandem. Because they worked together in order to do so.

7) Carrie (1976)

I was fortunate enough to grow up with a mother who was not a psychotic, God fearing zealot. Yay me. Sissy Spacek’s Carrie White, on the other hand, wasn’t so lucky. In the first film adaptation of Stephen King’s very first published novel, White literally has nowhere to turn. If she doesn’t have kids at school tormenting her about her first period, she was coming home to a mom who was angry about her daughter growing breasts. It is very rare seeing a movie that cultivates in a mother getting killed and then have me deem it ‘satisfying.’ But that is indeed what Carrie amounts to. Living a young life of torment, Carrie finally unleashes her powers and crucifies her mom on the wall with a series of flying kitchen knives.

Margaret White portrayer (and Oscar nominee) Piper Laurie famously declared that she spent the entire filming of Carrie thinking director Brian DePalma was making a comedy. While I have always taken this admission with the tiniest gran of salt, everyone knows the death by knives conclusion wasn’t the REAL ending of the film. But it’s the one that will always live in my memories as its finest moment.

6) The Descendants (2011)

The Descendants, like the majority of Alexander Payne movies, is a film that brings with it a barrel of emotions. One moment, you laugh at George Clooney running -with flip flops on- through a Hawaiian street. The next, you cringe as he meets his wife’s infidelity partner (Matthew Lillard). And finally, you are crying as the two daughters of the film are told -through a heart wrenching montage- that their mother will not make it out of intensive care alive. All the while, older daughter Alexandra (Shailene Woodley) fights with her father, and younger daughter Scottie (Amara Miller) just wants to see her mom.

So, after ALL this, how does Payne leave this family as an audience’s final image? Is it in torment? In constant self-doubt? No to both. We see them curled up on the couch, enjoying bowls of ice cream and watching movies. Together. It’s one of those moments that gets more beautiful the more you think about it, as opposed to seeing as it happens. Yet, I feel it is Payne’s best bit of storytelling of his entire career. Even after everything these three have experienced, they are still a family. And most importantly, they still have each other.

5) The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Perhaps the movie that has come up on the most of these lists of mine, I would be remiss if I didn’t include it here. The entire length of The Shawshank Redemption was spent with Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) in a living hell, being sentenced to death for a crime he did not commit. Yet, he finds refuge in fellow inmate Ellis Redding (Morgan Freeman), until eventually letting him know of his dream to end up on a Hawaiian beach, free from it all.

With dank smelling and stone solid walls, along with some real asshole prison guards, the possibility of this happening looks bleak for Dufresne. But thanks to the Rita Hayworth poster in his cell, he is able to concoct a plan that gets him out, and the shot of him looking into the rain and spellings of freedom upon him could have passed for an ending which was indeed satisfying. But that wasn’t all Darabont had up his sleeve. As Dufresne sets up shop on his little island, Darabont swings his camera around to a barefoot Redding, who himself has also finally tasted the sweet taste of freedom. The film may be wrapped a little too tight for its own good. But after being in such a dark and dirty place for so long, I think everyone -from the two characters all the way to their audience- deserved this moment.

4) Jaws (1975)

Speaking of well deserved moments. But this was one that almost wasn’t. Readers of Jaws the book know the ending from the page consisted of the shark getting rammed, thereby sinking to its death. But a 27 year old, ambitious in his on the fly decision-making director named Steven Spielberg would have none of it. After Spielberg concocting the film’s literally explosive climax, author Peter Benchley vehemently opposed, saying there was no way the audience would believe such a ridiculous ending. ‘Peter,’ Spielberg said, ‘if I have them this long, then the unbelievability factor won’t be a problem.’ Benchley still furiously fought for it to be omitted, objecting so much that Spielberg eventually had enough and threw him off the set.

When watching the film now, there is absolutely no doubt about the fact that Spielberg’s inclinations were indeed correct. Jaws had moved at a sort of horror film pace for its first two acts, and after turning on the adrenaline for its final one, a simple ramming of the shark (think Jaws The Revenge‘s ending. Then again, don’t) would simply not do for an audience’s pay off. By having Brody shoot the oxygen tank in the shark’s mouth, Spielberg accomplished two things. One, a final thrill for an audience which was already on the edge of their seats. Two, a sort of arc for Brody in that he has one less reason to be afraid of the water. Whether Benchley liked it or not, Spielberg did in fact have the audience in the palm of his hand. And that audience has rarely left it since.

3) Zero Dark Thirty (2012)

Kathryn Bigelow’s follow-up to her Oscar winning war film The Hurt Locker is, in my mind, the far superior of the two. The film focuses on the true life set of circumstances which led black ops to the location of Osama bin Laden. All of this is built on the intelligence gathering of mostly fictional intelligence officer Maya (Jessica Chastain) as after many false pretenses, she finally nails the location down pat. I say Maya is ‘mostly fictional’ because screenwriter Mark Boal has said while she is indeed based on a real person, she is actually the algorithm of ‘many other hard working women.’

Indeed, the film is an at times frustrating watch, as two hours goes by with nary a hint of success on her part. However, it is Zero Dark Thirty‘s final half hour, complete with a brilliantly mapped out onscreen raid -told mostly from their POV- that keeps you white knuckled. And while the ending is obvious from the start, it is still a terrifically gratifying moment seeing that -after so much doubt being brought upon Maya from both outside and inside sources for almost the entire film- she can finally crack a smile in the film’s final moments.

2) Aliens (1986)

Aliens

Speaking of strong, hard working women (okay, I’ll stop with this column’s natural/unnatural transitions), James Cameron has been known to write a few of his own. Take the two pictured here. In Aliens, Sigourney Weaver’s Ellen Ripley goes through hell to protect herself and the little girl we know only as Newt (after saying she didn’t like her name, which was Rebecca). Now in the director’s cut, Ripley is given an even bigger incentive, as she learns her daughter had died from the time she floated off into space until she was discovered by a random space sweep. Supposedly, this plot point was the only reason (well, along with 13 million other ones) why Weaver decided to come back in the first place, and she was none too happy when she discovered the scene of her finding out about her daughter’s fate was cut from the final theatrical cut.

To me, the scene’s exclusion doesn’t take away from the film’s final shot, shown above. After again narrowly defeating and escaping the Queen xenomorph’s clutches, Ripley has a few moments of zen. Curled up with her inherited daughter in front, and wounded but safe father Hicks in back, Ripley is finally free again. Until that damn nihilist David Fincher came along. But that’s another story for another day.

1) Rocky (1976)

Anyone who heard me dissect this puppy with Binge’s very own Luke Norris on our previous series of Aftertaste podcasts knows the exact reason why the ending of Rocky sits comfortably at the top of this list. Nevermind the fact that up until this point, Rocky was already a perfect movie. That a series of moments in the film’s final frames all but sealed itself up as the quintessential Hollywood ending only makes itself that much more powerful. Sylvester Stallone’s Rocky Balboa spent almost the entire film self doubting himself in this moment of a lifetime, while also courting what he sees as the woman of his dreams. After proving his worth to the world, and most importantly himself, going the entire 15 rounds while still standing, Rocky had other things on his mind other than the final decision. He wanted what he fought for. Not the belt. But the heart of the woman he loves.

It is a scene that I still get chills typing about to this day. Rocky‘s final moments dictated that the 70s weren’t all about falling for the wrong crowd’s bad intentions. What makes it even more powerful is the film contains an ending that could be looked at as unsatisfying if it had revolved around the fight itself. Yet, the film’s climax manages to propagate that more than anything, winning the heart of your true love is worth much more than winning a fight. Wait, wasn’t this a boxing movie?

So where does The Witch‘s ending fall? It is far too early to tell. But I do have an in depth column of what it could all mean coming up, which I will release as soon as other people have a chance to see it for themselves. Until then, let us marvel at ten times Hollywood actually got their endings RIGHT. Or, did they?

March 1 2016

Garrett’s Grumblings – A Defense of Spider-Man 3

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Before I get into the crux of this article, let me say a few things. One, as most people who listen to our air waves know, I was a Binge listener LONG before I became a part of their team. In the time before they started Binge, Law and Moreno would talk about movies they had seen, as has been their MO. And more times than naught, I would laugh along with their general feelings toward the subjects. But sometimes, I would be on the bus going to college while listening to their critical consensus of a movie and almost yell out loud, ‘you have to be kidding me.’ Now I would not go as far as request a written dissertation on the subject. But we all have opinions, and even those who are paid and/or allowed to have their opinions read by more than most tend to lean one way, while the reader leans another. So I would like to personally thank Brian from California for feeling so passionately against what I said about today’s subject, even going so far as pausing last week’s podcast after I made an off hand comment and requesting this article. However, don’t expect one on why I don’t like Deadpool.

Secondly, I want to go on record as saying I am not here to say, unlike 2004’s previous entry Spider-Man 2 -which is looked at by many, me included, as one of the greatest comic book movies of all time- that I feel each and every decision made on its follow up was a wise one. There are things done in this movie, by powers that be and otherwise, that are genuine WTF moments, and I am not afraid to point them out as I see fit. Spider-Man 3 is what I would classify as an undoubtedly inconsistent film. However, what I need to say in my defense is that a lot of Spider-Man 3 is actually very consistent with the overall aesthetic of Spider-Man 2. So the fact the second film has a 93% consensus on Rotten Tomatoes while the third has a 63%, is something I will undeniably question as we move along.

Let’s get the villain argument out of the way first. When revolting against Spider-Man 3, many people like to point out, first and foremost, that its overcrowding of villains makes it feel like a jumbled mess. Now I could get into all the back story of how Venom was pretty much thrown in director Sam Raimi’s face at the very last minute as an almost mandate to include, but that would be throwing out excuses, and that is not what I am here to do. However, I would argue the journeys each and every one of these villains, or perceived villains takes, is what makes me go with it. As per formula for these types of films, for a villain to work, they have to see themselves as the good guy of the story. When we are introduced to Sandman, he is in a state of despair, as his home life isn’t anything worth bragging about, and all he wants is the love of his family. It should be noted that Sandman actor Thomas Hayden Church was coming off an Oscar nominated performance in Sideways, and was a great get for Raimi to have portray this character. Not only does he look like he literally leapt off the page onto the screen, Church plays his descent into madness perfectly, and that villain trope of feeling he is in the right works much more than it gets credit for. Spider-Man is getting in the way of his happiness, and he feels by getting rid of him, Sandman (or Flint Marko if you want to get technical) can finally be happy. That, my friends, is the mark of a good villain.

As far as Venom goes, and leaving out the excuse of ‘the studio made Raimi do it,’ I will say this is one of those bad decisions I pointed out earlier. However, that’s not to say I did not see what Raimi was trying to do with him. As many who read the comics know, Venom -real name, Eddie Brock- was a bad ass who looked like he would kick your teeth in if you looked at him funny. And for this role, Raimi cast, Topher Grace(?) Now at the time, Grace was riding high on the cloud known as That 70’s Show, and again, this was looked at as quite a get for Sony Studios. But the question is, was he even worth it? I would in all honesty say all the hate sent Grace’s way is unwarranted, and I will tell you why. You look at Grace, and he is an almost mirror image of Tobey Maguire. What Raimi is showing is where things could go wrong if Peter Parker lets the symbiote suit overtake his emotions. I find this storyline’s resolution, as quickly thrown together as it is, to be as good as it can be given the time Raimi had to establish it. Which quite frankly needed a whole other movie to do it justice.

This leads me to Harry Osbourne. A character whose relationship with Peter was established in two previous films, we finally see them come to blows in the beginning stages of Spider-Man 3. But while the other two are villains within the story, Harry is nothing more than a foil for Peter to work over until the film’s final frames. Now is his ‘film amnesia’ a plot device of convenience? Absolutely, and I have always railed against this particular way of storytelling as something that is second only to a main hero looking up to the heavens and yelling as a main pet peeve of mine. But to me, it is worth it for the film to give him that last bit of heroism in its final frames. Comic enthusiasts, please do not come to me with, ‘but that wasn’t his arc in the comics’ talk. I realize this because I was a big Spider-Man reader back when I used to read comic books. But one thing I have ALWAYS stuck with when it comes to the relationship of the two mediums is there can be two universes. One within the page and one that’s onscreen. For the story that Raimi was trying to tell, I think Osbourne joining Spidey in that final battle was just as glorious as his defeat of Doc Ock in the second. It made for a moment of zen and triumph for movie goers. Or, it was intended to.

Next thing I would like to cover? ‘The strut.’ Yes, we all know ‘the strut.’ The other thing about Spider-Man 3 people like to revolt about. But I enjoy it, and I think I have a good defense for doing so. Peter Parker has NEVER, EVER been cool. In fact, he is the mirror image of many who liked him when I did, in that he was a nerd who was always picked on and awkward. Getting a symbiote suit will NOT automatically give him the power and meaning to be a powerful force in confidence. If this scene is awkward, it’s because it was meant to be. I find it strange that people hate this scene so much. It is almost as if they want a Nolan-esque darkness in tone that comes with it. Peter Parker is dark? Let’s have him kick a puppy and throw someone in the ocean. Here, Peter is acting this way because he feels like he is being ‘cool,’ yet we all know by watching him that he isn’t. I have a feeling Raimi himself knew this feeling growing up, and by having Peter shove Mary Jane, he did just enough to get the darkness growing inside of Peter out there. I will say it again, and not as an excuse. If Raimi did NOT have the mandate set on him to include Venom, this would be a non discussion.

One more small thing I would like to mention before closing this article out, and that is the inclusion of Gwen Stacy, played here by a blonde wig wearing -and miscast- Bryce Dallas Howard. There is little to no doubt that this inclusion is a major bit of fan service. Or, maybe not. Raimi was, as many know, a huge reader of the comics. He included Easter Eggs like Betty Brant -Spidey’s first girlfriend in the comics- in a scene or two as a secretary working at the Daily Bugle in the first film. Nothing more, nothing less. So maybe his including of Stacy here was more ‘Raimi service’ than fan service. And I will say it again: cinematic universes should be seperate from literary ones. So if Raimi wants to use Stacy as a jealousy pawn in a half assed love triangle with Peter and Mary Jane, so be it. Not everyone holds the books as a sort of bible of comic book literature, therefore isn’t going to understand it, and I like Raimi’s sense of making characters his own.

This is not an article proclaiming Spider-Man 3 as being the prototypical comic book movie. There are flaws, and there are problems. From Avi Arad coming in and making Raimi put all in one film which should have been split in two -a right he has being the money man, after all- he created a film that is uneven and off kilter. All of these storylines I outlined were done as well as they could be done given the time alotted. But the hate I see thrown Spider-Man 3‘s way is at times deafening, and I feel not warranted. There are threads introduced in the first two films of the trilogy that were closed off here. And let’s not forget that Raimi had plans for The Lizard way before Marc Webb came into the fold. But the result of this shoot made him cantankerous toward the material. Despite that, Spider-Man 3 is not soulless, and I would take it over the two Amazing films any day of the week. But that is a discussion best saved for another time.

So thank you, Brian from California. But as the great Lou Brown said in Major League, ‘don’t ever fucking do it again.’

February 23 2016

Garrett’s Grumblings – Will Deadpool’s Success Make It A ‘Trend?’

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No matter how you feel about Deadpool -and if you heard this week’s Binge Cast you know exactly how I feel- there is no arguing that the success of Ryan Reynolds’ starring comic book film means a brand new awakening for the future of comic book filmmaking. The perseverance Reynolds displayed in getting Deadpool made has to be commended, and there will come a time in the next decade or so, much like we currently do with 2008’s Iron Man, that we will point to February of 2016 as the month ‘it all changed.’ There is no question that the box office results of Deadpool make for a hell of a success story. Reynolds fell on his ass so many times for the twelve plus years he took in getting it made, that I am not going to put him down for finally succeeding in his goals. That is a story which cannot be written if you tried, and I have all the respect in the world for him.

But it didn’t take long for its wave of success to cause word of Wolverine 3, supposedly the very final time Hugh Jackman dawns the iron fisted claws, now specifically aiming for an R rating. Fans of the character can be heard jumping for joy every which way you go. And this site’s very own Jackie Boy recently posted a well written article about comic book adaptations he would like to see slapped an R rating as well. Look. It’s great to be a ground breaker, and I think I have been fair enough in my praise of Deadpool‘s ability to be as much. Even if PLENTY of successful R rated comic book adaptions have been released in the years leading up to this one.

Interestingly, that leads right into my topic of this article. I decided to do some major digging, and research just what films in years past started trends, and how said trends keep going through the distillation machine that Hollywood is so very well known as having.

5) Space Movies

Yes, there had been Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, and 2001: A Space Odyssey to fill our hearts and heads with enough space imagery to last a lifetime. But it wasn’t until George Lucas’s 1977 space opera Star Wars was released to massive success that they started becoming a Hollywood trend. Legend has it the sole reason for Ridley Scott’s Alien being greenlit was because it was the only other space script in 20th Century Fox’s offices at the time. But that wasn’t the only movie trying to capitalize on a trend. Enter The Black Hole, Enemy Mine, Solarbabies, Dune. And my favorite, James Bond’s very own Moonraker.

All of these were met with varying degrees of artistic and box office success, and the Hollywood machine keeps cranking them out to this day. Where’s a Bill Pullman motivational speech when we need one?

4) ‘Found Footage’ Films

Now, it can be argued that 1999’s The Blair Witch Project was the first film to put this genre in the widest of stratospheres (no, The Last Broadcast does NOT count), and there had been sporadic ‘found footage’ movies like 2007’s Rec beforehand. But 2009’s Paranormal Activity created what can only be described as a phenomenon. To put its success in perspective, there have been 397 found footage movies released since Paranormal Activity was released six years ago, and only 113 released before then.

Hatred is generally spewed at these films. Every once in awhile, a Cloverfield comes along to knock us on our asses. But for every Cloverfield, there are four or five Apollo 18s.

3) Gladiator Movies

Airplane captain Captain Oveur must have been living on cloud nine in the 2000s. After Ridley Scott’s Gladiator won five Academy Awards, earning over $450 million in the process, we saw more and more ‘sword and sandal epics’ hit the circuit with no abandon to spare. Movies like Kingdom of Heaven, Pathfinder, 300, and Scott’s own telling of Robin Hood came and went with barely a whimper. The only one I REALLY enjoyed from this time was Wolfgang Peterson’s 2004 Brad Pitt starring epic Troy. And even that was released to mixed reviews. Despite this, Troy would go on to make close to $500 million.

2) Die Hard on a (blank)

Anyone who grew up on the late 80s – early 90s remembers this trend. In fact, if you count recent films like Olympus Has Fallen, the trend is still going strong. After the Bruce Willis starring Die Hard was released to propulsive box office thunder in 1988, studios found another formula to mix into their money making medicine. Before long, Speed wasn’t Speed. It was ‘Die Hard on a Bus.’ Under Siege wasn’t Under Siege. It was ‘Die Hard on a Ship. Awakenings wasn’t just Awakenings. Ok, that one stuck.

There is no question about it. Die Hard remains one of the most influential films -not just ‘action’ films- ever made. With the perfect mix of violence and salty one liners, John McClane stepped into movie immortality. Yippee Kii Yayy is right.

1) 3D Movies

Ahhh, hello Avatar. One thing about Deadpool‘s success that seems to be getting overlooked in all the shock & awe over its opening weekend take, is how the movie took the film going public by storm –without the advent of its audience having to put on a pair of dirty recycled 3D glasses. This can only be a good thing, as the 3D experience has very rarely been anything of the sort, and is just an added incentive by studios to get audiences out of their houses and into theaters. Let me make clear: I see nothing wrong with that. But the problem is that 3D, with the exception of the aforementioned Avatar, adds absolutely nothing to the experience.

Immediately following Avatar‘s massive success, movies like Alice In Wonderland, 2010’s Clash of the Titans, almost the entire Marvel Universe, etc etc jumped on the bandwagon. Hell, even The Force Awakens didn’t turn down the opportunity to capitalize on the trend. Despite all of this, I have a feeling that if James Cameron doesn’t get off his ass and put Avatar 2 on the release board within the next couple years, executives are going to look mighty close at that little non 3D factor in Deadpool‘s success.

Let me reiterate here. I, in no way, feel these or any of the other trends in movie history are necessarily bad. I also understand that all of the examples I have mentioned above had examples of such before them. But there was always one which stuck out head and shoulders above the rest, planting itself in cinematic history. And Deadpool is one of those films. But I think James Gunn beautifully outlined the dangers of the lessons learned from the surprise $150 million take of Deadpool in its opening weekend. Wolverine 3 would already seem to be the trickle effect Gunn was talking about. And yes, as long as there are angry teenage boys, there will always be an audience for an ultra violent yuk-fest like Deadpool. But the danger of watering down your product to the point of obscurity hovers like a black cloud. A character like Superman does NOT warrant slapping an R rating on his movie just…because. Even when movies like Alien vs Predator and Terminator Salvation were getting PG-13 ratings, the incentives that drove so-called ‘outcries’ over the movies before they were even released never bothered me. A movie is never good based on its rating. Its rating is an organic off shoot of the film itself. With this in mind, I wish all filmmakers luck with the new current trend. Let’s hope it’s Die Hard by nature of lasting ability.

February 16 2016

Garrett’s Grumblings – MY Top Ten Films of the 2000s

Garrett Collins Daily Blogs, Garrett's Grumblings 28 Days Later, A History of Violence, AI, Almost Famous, Before Sunset, Danny Boyle, david cronenberg, david fincher, david lynch, Drive, garrett collins, Garrett's Grumblings, guillermo del toro, Mulholland Drive, Nicholas Winding Refn, Pans Labyrinth, Richard Linklater, steven spielberg, the dark knight, Zodiac

What’s going on, Bingers? Long time no see. Like all of you, I listened to this week’s flagship BingeCast and heard not only Ammon go completely off the rails with his 4 hour drunk segment, but also the lists of those who host the show. You know, that list that was started by one off hand Facebook comment, and has rolled downhill to include everyone here at the Binge offices. Of course, the list I speak of is all our ten favorite films this century.

So, with that in mind -and minus my invitation by those assholes to be on with them- I decided to include my own list of my favorite films of the 2000s. There will be some roll over from the podcast. But also some surprises, because as I was going through the exhausting task of putting this thing together, I came across the films that resonated the most with me at that particular time. Or, they could be films that ended up meaning more to me down the road. In fact, one of these was already a focus of my Revisit column last year.

I want to say one more thing before moving on. I usually split these things up into two separate articles. But this time, I decided to make it one big piece. So, strap yourselves in for a hell of a ride down memory lane.

Honorable Mentions: Inception, Minority Report, Sideways, and Sunshine

10) A History of Violence (2006)

Despite his somewhat bizarre flashes of brilliance leading up to this film, I had no idea what to expect when I walked into a theater to see director David Cronenberg’s A History of Violence. I had no reservations of plot or feelings of anticipation. When I walked out, I felt like I had been taken for one of the most hard hitting rides of 2006, and it was no surprise to see Cronenberg’s name up there as a Best Director nominee come Oscar time.

Still, this spot was a toss up between this and Cronenberg’s other collaboration with Viggo Mortensen, 2007’s Eastern Promises. In the end, I decided to include this for two reasons. One, I LOVE stories about people trying to forget past identities while living what seems to be an ideal life. Second. Well, see the photo above?

9) 28 Days Later (2002)

Very rarely does a movie feel like a two hour grip of the throat. Yet that is exactly the effect director Danny Boyle’s assault on the senses had on my 25 year old self when I stepped into that ominous Berkeley theater in 2002. Its opening scene, an escalation of intensity as animal rights people let out, and eventually get bitten by, a virus carrying monkey, remains one of the scariest scenes I have ever experienced in a movie theater. White knuckled does not even begin to describe it, and I am getting chills just typing about it. The rest of the film rarely lets up, and Boyle’s brilliance is in not letting us know just what in the hell is actually going on. Are they zombies? Or something else? No matter what the attacking, raging monsters in 28 Days Later really are (something that still gets debated to this day), the film’s surprise success is probably more than half the reason why zombies are still in multiple forms of media today.

8) Pans Labyrinth (2006)

This is becoming a recurring theme, so bear with me. But honest to God. When I stepped into that theater in December of 2006 to see Pans Labyrinth, I had no idea of what to expect. All I knew was that this was from the same director of Blade 2 and Mimic. I had not caught ALL of Mr Guillermo Del Toro’s resume up until that point (I have since). But when the first frames of Labyrinth were set in motion, and it was becoming abundantly clear that this was an updated, adult version of those fantasy films I loved so much as a kid, I was all in. The movie makes comparisons to the establishment of an impending war that, quite frankly, I could have done without. But the journey of lead character Ofelia as she finds Pan and, most memorably, cannot pass up the opportunity to eat a juicy looking piece of fruit, is a glorious display of beautifully framed and horrific filmmaking. The movie’s climax, while tragic, puts all of our urgent craves in perspective, and Pans Labyrinth is one of the only films that I had to see again as early as the very next showing.

7) Before Sunset (2004)

Made nine years after their initial meeting in 1995’s Before Sunrise, the saga of Jesse (Ethan Hawke) and Celine’s (Julie Delpy) relationship made an even bigger impact on me than director of both Richard Linklater’s first entry. The idea of showing two people talking for an hour and a half straight may seem boring to some. But I was genuinely anxious to see how their relationship would continue after what has to be one of the most romantic nights ever put to film. The answer? More than a little cynical. Celine is the French cynical sort who points to Jesse’s exploits in his still young life, and even laughs at his keeping their promise to meet her at the same train platform they separated from in Sunrise. But the developments that happen between the two during Before Sunset meant so much to me because I was at such a turning point of my life in 2004. Seeing it with my girlfriend at the time, Jesse’s swooning of Celine’s dancing to the singing of Nina Simone, believe it or not, led to our impending break-up. Now, you can look at this series of events as me being the only person who could spoil one of the sexiest endings to a film in recent memory. But I choose to look at it as a new beginning. The ending of which, me chasing the tail of that perfect Celine, is still impending.

6) Zodiac (2007)

Zodiac

Ahhh, 2007. Almost all my Binge co-horts seem to agree that this was one of, if not the, most satisfying movie years of the entire millennium. It is hard to argue that point, as there were plenty of films to swoon over. But David Fincher’s Zodiac meant more to me than any other film to me that year. First of all, it was his first film since 2002’s Panic Room. A film many find to be disappointing. But he was also taking on a story that took place literally minutes from where I grew up. Fincher, like me, grew up in the California Bay Area, and his directing style of shadows and darkness were never put to better use than when he showed the horror that came with the true life Zodiac case. The question of why he took on a film based on a case that was never solved is a questionable one -and he does in fact draw some Oliver Stone style conclusions by film’s end- but Fincher obviously took the case to heart, and wanted to show us all what he was made of by making his most uncompromising film to date. Unquestionably two films in one, Zodiac possesses some great performances from all involved, the beginning of Robert Downey Jr’s comeback, the darkly comedic irony of having Donovan’s daughter Ione Skye’s character attacked during her father’s song Hurleygurley Man, and the scariest Roger Rabbit voice man Charles Fleischer had been or will ever be on film.

5) A.I. (2001)

I was THIS close to including that dildo factory working Canadian Jim Law’s entry Minority Report in this spot. Mostly because it is probably the most quintessential Steven Spielberg film this millennium has seen so far. But, going by the mantra of this article, I included A.I. because of the effect the movie has had on me in recent years. As I outlined in total detail in my prior Revisits column, A.I. was a movie I didn’t think twice about when I left the theater in 2001. I wanted E.T. Not this robot boy who was one ‘I see dead people’ phrase away from making me hate him. But seeing his inability to grow up, and journey toward the ‘blue fairy,’ as well as the tragedy behind it all, is what makes A.I. give me chills when I watch it today. On the film’s blu ray extras, Spielberg almost arrogantly points out that while the cynical outlook of main character David may seem like the brain child of original screenwriter Stanley Kubrick, it was actually the addition of Spielberg himself. Working through a life of exploits, A.I. has set a new standard of Spielberg viewing for me. One which tells more than a story of not growing up. But the horrors that come with doing so.

4) Drive (2011)

drive

I’m just going to go ahead and get this out of the way. Nicholas Winding Refn is my favorite director so far this century. The man has such a poetic eye for storytelling, that it is like watching a cynical 70s filmmaker in a modern age. After slipping into the directing slot of Drive following the previous director’s untimely exit from the project, Refn crafted a film of what I can only describe as poetic brutality. Its neon colors may be a turn off to most. But that is what Refn is looking for. Refn doesn’t want us to see what is under his main vehicle’s hood until more than halfway into the film, and Ryan Gosling’s character is nothing short of backed into helping Carey Mulligan out of her shitty situation, only to run head first into lead villian Albert Brooks. There are so many things about Drive that work for me that I don’t even know where to start. Let’s just say from its upstart soundtrack to a beautifully choreographed action scene involving Mad Men‘s Christina Hendricks, all the way to its artistically intentional, less propulsive ending, Drive is a film I revisit at least once, sometimes twice a year.

3) Mulholland Drive (2001)

Even though I could be overheard constantly calling myself a David Lynch fan to anyone who would listen, in 2001, I was anything but. I had not seen one episode of Twin Peaks, and Wild At Heart & Blue Velvet were tough for me to register at the young ages in which I saw them. It wasn’t until Mulholland Drive that I started to…get it. Lynch wasn’t out to tell good stories. In fact, nobody ever knew what the hell Lynch wanted to accomplish with his Hollywood ventures. And that’s what I loved about him. Lynch was the first Hollywood ‘rebel’ whose work I started seeking out, and with Mulholland Drive as my newly realized starting point, there was nowhere to turn but straight forward. I remember walking out of this screening and telling my girlfriend at the time that I enjoyed everything about it except that blonde girl who really couldn’t act. Little did I know, this was Naomi Watts, who was on the brink of breaking out. It wasn’t until my second or third viewing when I began to realize her overacting in the film’s opening scenes was completely intentional. She was wide eyed about her chances to make it in Hollywood. And it was this optimism that would eventually catch up to her.

One of the most brilliant things about Mulholland Drive is that it is almost two films in one. Its first half is a series of exploits, some darkly humorous -a botched hit, a discovered liaison with Billy Ray Cyrus, The Cowboy- some just dark -a nightmare that takes place in a breakfast diner-. But its second half is an unrelenting film noir of constant exploration. Just what does it all mean, exactly? Part of me wishes Lynch had gone through with his plans to turn the film into a TV series. But the other part of me is just happy to have what he fed us. Not with a spoon mind you, but with a double sided butterfly knife.

2) The Dark Knight (2008)

I feel I need to give a deft explanation of why I have included Christopher Nolan’s much hyped second entry in his Batman film series so high on my list. No, I am not one of those IMDb’ers who grace that page with higher than high reviews of the film, and continue to do so at other places. What works so well with The Dark Knight, to me, is the overall synergy of events that surround it. First, the creepy, Crow like stigma which surrounds the late Heath Ledger’s Joker performance is admittedly a huge factor. Just what was it about this character that made him go so far over the edge? Did Jack Nicholson REALLY warn him about the dangers of the role beforehand? And how the hell could he have given an admittedly brilliant performance under such dire circumstances? Believe it or not, this part of the film’s mystique is fascinating to me, and I believe the answers to these questions could someday make for an even more fascinating documentary.

But the beginning of 2008 was not about superheroes. It was about the fear America was living under, while fearing retaliations to our country’s presence in several other countries as a result of 9/11. My daily trips to work and school in the Bay Area’s BART system was spent in a constant state of fear, and what Nolan did so well with The Dark Knight was outline that it does not take one person pretending to be a hero in order to resolve it. It is the fear that we inhabit which feeds our drive towards success. In addition, the film’s beautiful cinematography, its dark blue pallet, its switching from character to character without leaving its audience in a state of flux, and its brutal handling of Rachel Dawse’s demise which is what sets the film apart for me. Plus, after years of being told he could not direct action, Nolan lets loose with a practical effects driven truck and trailer flipping scene that is just as stunning today that it was then. The Dark Knight is one of the only films that I can watch out of order, and I constantly make it my lone watch for Nolan’s entire series, as I feel it is the only time he got all of Batman’s nuances right. And the beauty of it is, not all of it was his doing.

1) Almost Famous (2000)

This was a tough decision for me. Almost Famous really duked it out with The Dark Knight for this spot. But in the end, I went with Famous because of one reason, and one reason only: it is almost perfect. Almost Famous, much like The Dark Knight, was the perfect synergy of everyone involved being on top of their game. Jason Lee, Zooey Deschanel, Kate Hudson, Patrick Fugit, director Cameron Crowe. ALL of them would never be better than how they are here. Crowe had carved out quite a niche in telling romantic stories that felt real and close to the heart. But I would argue he had not until Famous, nor has he since, found the perfect formula. Hudson is not only stunning to look at, but also delivers lines like ‘you are home’ with such heartfelt compassion that it is hard not to love her. Of course, Crowe’s way of crafting the perfect soundtrack is proven correct here, and the only thing I could point to as being wrong is Frances Mcdormand’s mom character, who at times walks the line of being a caricature. But, we all have moms. And with Almost Famous, we have the perfect mesh of awesome 70s music and beautifully done storytelling.

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Garrett’s Grumblings

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