Garrett’s Grumblings – Why Does Disney Just Not Get It When It Comes To Star Wars?

There is a scene in 1980’s The Empire Strikes Back which is one of many that brilliantly encapsulates all that is right with the entire Star Wars series. Luke has been rescued from a snow creature (or Wampa, for you assholes who need specificity), and word has spread that the Empire knows where they are. Princess Leia gives a motivating speech, sends the Rebel fighters on their way, and Luke himself is taking off for another fight against the Empire whose Death Star he’d destroyed the film before. However, these aren’t ships he’s fighting this time. We feel rumblings, and debris is falling on Artoo as he tries to roll to safety. What can be causing these riffs? One look through a Rebel’s binoculars answers the question, as huge, monstrous Imperial Walkers (or AT-ATs for you same assholes) are on their way to cause destruction. This is a brilliant set-up for what eventually becomes one of the series’ many classic moments. It is foreboding, and downright scary what these Rebels are going to be fighting against.

Now compare that scene with how the Walkers are introduced in the latest ‘Star Wars Story’ Rogue One. Rebels -or what would eventually become Rebels- are making their way through a forest laidened land. Trees are broken, and without any heed of warning, no more than 25 feet away, lie a set of the same exact Walkers. No warning. No set-up. Just a moment designed to make people cheer in their seat. In essence, an easy lay.

It is scenes like this which perfectly embodies my issues with the current crop of Star Wars movies Disney has ladened upon us. What’s more, is these are scenes I tried my damndest to defend from ever happening when Disney purchased Lucasfilm in 2012. Arguments were made that Disney would not know what they were dealing with. That Donald Duck would eventually be seen wielding a lightsaber. Well, while the latter has not happened yet, it is of my opinion that the former is happening before our eyes.

The build-up to 2015’s Episode VII: The Force Awakens was something I had not experienced at anytime in my life. Each and every trailer of that film was greeted with at least one tear from me. The specificity of which how JJ Abrams was treating the material with great care did a lot to back up my claims that the series was in good hands. For example, when rumors of the Millennium Falcon making an appearance in the movie were made viral, Abrams responded with denials of said rumors -with the note set firmly on the famous chess board from the Falcon.

However, when the film was finally released, I could not help but feel cheapened by what I’d seen. In essence, The Force Awakens feels like a highly expensive fan film. Sure, rumors of Han’s death had surfaced well before the film was seen. But watching that scene again last week, I cannot help but notice just how poorly staged it was. What should have been the emotional crux of the film felt like anything but. The bridge, Chewbacca from above, the long awkward pause before the slash to the gut. All of these things add up to a scene trying so hard to pull heart strings, but in essence losing all the organic feelings the previous six films had developed. No matter how bad The Force Awakens wanted to be A New Hope, it failed, and failed badly. And don’t even get me started on how awkward the scenes between Han and Leia are. People give Marion and Indy’s scenes in The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull a hard time. Watch the Han and Leia scenes again, and you will see that Abrams missed the boat even more when it came to getting two iconic characters back together.

I guess what I am getting at is everything with these new incarnations of Star Wars feel too manufactured on hindering on nostalgia to work as narratives. Each and every character in Rogue One feels torn out of the cliché manual one at a time, and people clamoring for Vader to be ‘bad ass’ got their wish -kind of. I’m sorry. That entire scene is clouded in the same smoky shit that people gave Lucas a hard time for in Yoda’s grandiose scene in Attack of the Clones. Why oh why, in a film which takes place mere weeks before Episode IV, is Vader Force choking rebels, throwing them against walls, and slicing through the hull that made its first appearance in 1977? Not to mention a line that makes Vader’s final scene in Revenge of the Sith look like Hamlet. This IS the same lumbering character we would see in the next episode -or is it half episode-or is it story? I just don’t know anymore. I guess Tarkin’s appearance would classify as bringing about an arc which leads to the next film. Yet each time that CGI monstrosity appeared onscreen, I was distracted by its blood shot eyes, and all the slickness that the real Peter Cushing was not. In fact, between him and Princess Leia’s declaration of hope that closes the film, I felt bad I did not have my PlayStation 4 controller near me. It seemed these computerized characters were telling me it was time to advance levels.

And that is the saddest part of all. Instead of these stories feeling like they organically belong in the Star Wars universe, things are being done just to show they can, without any thought being given if they should. I know I sound like Dr Ian Malcolm here, and hell, no one seems to care as this latest *cough* story *cough cough*, continues to be atop the box office for three weeks in a row as I write this. But the easy thrills these films generate are starting to wear on me, and the absence of any feeling as I walked out of both movies makes me think they just don’t get it.

Or, maybe it’s just me.