Bobs Thirsty Thursdays: The Force Awakens = Biggest Movie in History?

This year is a crazy year for movies. Some could call it Franchise-Palooza… and they’d be right. This year we will see a new FAST & FURIOUS, JURASSIC PARK, JAMES BOND, MAD MAX, INSIDIOUS, TERMINATOR, and MINION movie. And that snap shot doesn’t include all the other sequels that people will surely fife over (PITCH PERFECT 2, TED 2, CHIPMUNKS: ROAD CHIP). But beyond that incredible line-up, none of those movies has a chance in hell at out-grossing STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS.

Now, you could say… no shit. And you’d be right–it’s a sure-fire win for the highest grossing movie of 2015. But I’m taking it one step further and saying that this will be the highest grossing movie… OF ALL TIME. How could it not? It’s a new STAR WARS movie. Regardless of the whether it’s good or not, who doesn’t want to see this in the theater? Every kid who knows the STAR WARS universe wants to see this movie. Every adult who knows the STAR WARS universe wants to see this movie. In other words… EVERY PERSON ON THE PLANET WANTS TO SEE THIS MOVIE. And that’s how it’s going to the top of 2015.

But lets look at how it’ll be the top movie of all time. J.J. Abrams is directing, which means… it’s gonna be pretty damn good. I can more or less guarantee you that it will be better than all of the STAR WARS prequels. Sure, those mostly sucked ass, so what’s your point? They made a shit ton of money despite sucking ass. That’s my point. Can you imagine what a good STAR WARS movie will make? All of those people (i.e., everyone with a pulse) will want to see this movie multiple times in the theater. They will want to see the Millenium Falcon do its thing over and over and over again, because… whatever else Abrams has got planned, it’s going to be effin’ amazing.

Hey A-Hole, then why wasn’t STAR TREK a bigger hit? That’s what you’re asking me right now. The answer? STAR WARS is bigger than STAR TREK. Live with it, Trekkies, because that’s the biggest truthbomb to drop in your lap in the history of truthbombs. Throw the belief that “there are STAR WARS fans and there are STAR TREK fans, and some can like both, but no one can like them equal” out the window. That’s bullshit. Everyone is a STAR WARS fan more than they are STAR TREK fans. STAR TREK fans might think that they have a bigger following, because there are multiple TV shows and a shitload of movies, but that’s just not true. STAR WARS fans beat STAR TREK fans every fucking time. Hence, why STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS will make more money than STAR TREK, STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS, and all of the other STAR TREK movies… combined. Believe it.

Whoa, that got real geeky real quick. What’s the point here? Am I preaching to the choir? Maybe. Just color me excited for a movie that comes out in 10 months… more excited than seeing a post-apocalyptic Australia again, more excited than seeing cyborgs travel through time to protect the future again, more than seeing a British secret agent womanize and blow shit up again, and more than seeing Dinosaurs walk the Earth again. STAR WARS. The Millenium Falcon. We are at the dawn of one of the biggest movie years ever, and the one that will kill it all is THE FORCE AWAKENS. Be wise and make sure you update your Hottie Draft picks accordingly.