Friday Night Law: 101 Damnations is Ruining My Soul
VERY VERY UNSAFE FOR WORK
SERIOUSLY
I’m just past the halfway point in my attempt to watch 101 first-watch horror films in the month of October. There’s been a lot of bad, a couple bright spots, and tons of shit that has made me question humanity as a whole. I’ve watched a lot of horror movies over the years and it takes a something particularly jarring to make me wince anymore. And since I’m not a greedy person, I’ve decided to share a handful of the most ridiculous, sickest, and disturbing moments of the past 50+ movies I’ve watched. Keep in mind that I watch these things at work, surrounded by other workers who could easily glance at my computer and have me fired for being an asshole at any given moment.
Here’s some screencaps of the worst of the worst. Moments that had me looking over my shoulder, puking in my mouth a little, shaking my head, and laughing all in one motion. I’m sorry, and you’re welcome.
THE CANAL – DEAD BABY BIRTH
THE CANAL is your typical ghost story where some dude is haunted by evil spirits trying to tell him something important. Everything seems pretty generic until he finds his dead wife in the sewer giving birth to his unborn baby. The moment is preceded by lots of yellow juice and black ooze. Dead vagina FTW? No.
THE ABCs OF DEATH – FART DEATH
Realistically, I could have done this whole article on stuff that happens in this movie and it’s sequel. Strangely though, this is the one that made me laugh out loud the most. The “F” segment in the first movie is for Fart, and as weird as you think it could possibly get, you have no idea. Not only is it about dying via deadly fart, it evolves into some fucked up Japanese fetish scat-film. I laughed a lot early but things got too weird for me to feel comfortable after a while.
PROXY – BABY BUMPS
One second this woman is in the doctor’s office getting an ultrasound and the next, she’s lying in an alley having her unborn baby beaten with a brick over and over and over and over…… I actually yelled “We get it!” at the screen after a while. I understand the phrase “It’s only a movie” more than most but I suspect I was visibly shaken after this scene. This douche in the hoody needed to die as quickly as possible.
WOLFCOP – WOLF PISS
Oh man, this is one of those scenes where you start nervously laughing and then end up screaming like a bitch. Dude goes for a quick squirt and his body decides to start transforming into a werewolf, dick first. Watching his penis being ripped open from the inside by a much larger and hairier penis is something I can’t erase from my brain. It was brilliantly disturbing.
12/12/12 – MOMMY ISSUES
I struggled with whether or not I was going to include that picture for a while. But, it’s only a movie, right? What you’re looking at is a baby…… sorry, a devil baby going down on his mother. What makes this scene the worst, in an unfathomable amount of horrible moments in this film, is that the mom is getting off from it. She’s writhing and moaning in bed as they keep cutting back to this little fucker munching away. Like I said earlier, I’m sorry.
ERIC KING of Hollywood
October 17, 2014 @ 10:59 am
The “F” just made my day! Gotta love the Japanese film industry.