Bob’s Thirsty Thursdays: End of Summer, Camping Tips, VHS Archive Entry #3

Summer, more or less, is officially over. This coming weekend is Labor Day and the kids go back to school right after. Normally, this is a time of melancholy and change… at least, during my youth. Now, the only thing I’m sad about seeing summer go is the long days, the warm (dry) weather, and camping. Holy smokes, did we camp a bunch this summer. Maybe it’s because the Pacific Northwest is surrounded by prime camping real estate, or because my quest for finding Bigfoot runs strong through my veins, but we camped an epic amount of times between Memorial Day and Labor Day this year… probably more than ever. Which is kind of amazing, because anyone with kids will tell you, camping with an almost 2 year old is not much fun. It’s the worst. And yet, we managed to go out no less than 6 or 7 times this season and camp our asses off.

Here are some tips about camping (tent trailer camping) that I discovered (and practiced) this year—who knows… maybe you’ll find some of them useful for your next camping trip. First up, bungee cords. You gotta bring a lot of bungee cords (preferably of various lengths) because nothing is more useful when camping than bungee cords. Clothes lines for drying towels and swimsuits? Check. Securing your load during the drive to and from the campsite? Check. And most importantly, creating a tarp-covered village. That’s the second thing you should always bring camping: tarps. Green or grey or brown (blue, when you’re camping, is trashy and tacky) tarps can make the difference between a good time and a shitty time. Using those ever-handing bungee cords, tarps can be secured to trees high above your campsite, and used to produce copious amounts of shade and shelter from rain. Seriously, I don’t know what’s better… instant shade in those sites that are far too sunny for comfort, or a dry campsite in the middle of a rain storm. Tarps and bungee cords, yo. They’ll save your camping trip.

Other things are also essential: a 5 gallon water jug for those sites that don’t have running water; a table cloth to go cover up the nastiness of shared picnic tables; bikes (if camping with kids, this is a must… it’ll keep them entertained for a chunk of your trip); Fireball Whiskey (keep it ice cold in your cooler… it’ll go down smooth and warm straight from the bottle); two coolers, one for your food and one for your beverages (you’ll be in and out of the booze bin more than the food bin, thus keeping the food bin colder); Cards Against Humanity (essential for group camping); a French press for coffee (but only if you want to function properly); a hatchet for chopping kindling; and dryer lint. Yes, the lint you throw away every time you put wet clothes in the dryer—keep that shit. Put it in a gallon Ziploc baggie and bring it with you camping. Dryer lint is the best fire starter around and it will save you a ridiculous amount of time building that fucking fire. Just grab a handful, thrust it in the middle of your teepee-stacked kindling, and set that shit on fire. Instant campfire, every fucking time. I even used it on a windy beach and was able to breathe life into the flames. Follow these tips, and you’ll have an epic time. You have any tips? Let me know! I’m always looking for ways to make camping even more awesome.

Another week, another dip into the VHS archives. The year after I made THE TRAGEDIES OF MACBETH and THE CHRISTINE TRAILER for my Sophomore English Class, I enrolled in Video Production (miraculously my cheap Californian school had Video Production equipment and curriculum). My first assignment was to make a music video, using any style and any song I wanted. I was a big fife for Lenny Kravitz’s ARE YOU GONNA GO MY WAY and action movies, so I decided I’d make a music video that told a story… like a mini-movie to music. The idea was simple: a girl gets kidnapped by Ninjas and a hero is called in to chase the Ninjas down and rescue the girl. Using my best friend and main collaborator (Nick Raya) as the hero, as well as the star of my CHRISTINE TRAILER Genrick Imbuido, I made a little action number that involves car chases and Ninja fighting. Note: only 2 of my friends at the time had driver’s licenses, which is why some ‘driving’ sequences are of our hero parked in a parking lot, and while I was months away from getting my Black Belt in Karate and Genrick is a master in Aikido… the fight sequences are horrendously un-choreographed. This is due to not choreographing anything and essentially filming (and using) the practice fight. Ah well. Points to whomever can guess which movie the explosion at the end is ripped from.