Friday Night Law: Evil Dead on TV, The Lego Store, Comic Con
I’m back from vacation, I’m rested, and I have a lot to write about (notice the lack of using the word “aboot” here as Moreno was so inclined when he hijacked my column last week and pretended to be me. The lawsuit is pending.). First things first….
EVIL DEAD: THE TV SHOW
I’ve seen the movies. I’ve sat through the musical. I’ve read all the “making of” books. Do I really want a weekly dose of Bruce Campbell in an EVIL DEAD television program. In a word….. Fucking Hell yes! Now, let’s all relax for a minute. There are a million things that can go wrong with this thing, specifically the fact that Sam Raimi loves to talk out of his ass when it comes to all things EVIL DEAD. I was sitting in the audience 3 or 4 years ago at the very same Hall H during Comic Con when he said him and his brother were working on a new ED script starring Bruce Campbell. Unless he’s counting that remake from a couple years ago and the 3 second cameo Campbell had at the end, we never heard another thing about this. It could also suck donkey dick, plain and simple. This depends greatly on what network picks it up. FX? AMC? Solid. ABC? Horseshit. Something scares me about Raimi trying to continue this story on regular network television as all I can think about is the dance scene from SPIDER-MAN 3 over and over. It would be goofy, watered down, and useless. Some of the more interesting theories have the TV show tying in with the remake sequels thus proving Campbell’s cameo was not just a nod to long time fans but a promise to include him in future features. It’s a little too much to hope for at this point but I love a good rumor – especially when it’s…… good.
THE LEGO STORE
I was shopping with my wife today and found myself standing in the middle of the Lego Store looking around in awe. The place is fascinating because it messes with your senses on many levels. To the left are some of the coolest sets I’ve ever seen – a Lego Death Star, the giant pirate ship from THE LEGO MOVIE, Jabba The Hutt’s barge, a shitload of TMNT stuff that I don’t understand – and then, to the left, 40 annoying kids slamming their way through a disastrous Lego pit while building absolutely nothing. I started to wonder, is The Lego Store the greatest or worst place on Earth to work? “Hey, Bill, your job today is to put together this 3000 piece limited edition STAR WARS set while making sure none of the crass little assholes that are running around the store shove any Lego pieces up their nose.” There are literally a million tiny pieces of Lego flying around the store at any given moment while parents (like me) are staring in complete silence at the detail given to Princess Leia’s bikini in a glass case. The first story of a Lego Store employee going postal (lego?) on a swarm of customers isn’t far off.
COMIC CON
There were a few cool things to come out of San Diego last weekend but nothing got me excited more than the announcement of KING KONG: SKULL ISLAND. Or is it just SKULL ISLAND? Whateverthefuck, it sounds amazing. Why have we never had a King King origin story? In every version of the film people show up to the island and Kong is fully grown, raping bitches. Add the fact that it’s being made by Legendary, the same company that slapped me in the nuts with PACIFIC RIM and GODZILLA the last two years ANNNNNND that they want Joe Cornish, the director of ATTACK THE BLOCK, to direct this bad boy and I’m considering waiting in line. Tomorrow. With no new Pixar film this year it was a pleasant surprise to see attention given to the TOY STORY television special airing December 2nd entitled TOY STORY: THAT TIME FORGOT. The poster is glorious. Most of the original voice cast is involved (oddly, there’s no John Ratzenberger in the credits), the new characters look like He-Man mixed with Dinobots, and the last year’s TOY STORY OF TERROR was great. I’m in. A lot.
As I said during this past Monday’s Binge Cast, I miss certain aspects of the Con (mostly drinking with drunk guys) but had a decent time just letting the news roll on to my laptop this year instead of standing in a line for 8 hours to see the exact same thing. Maybe one day we’ll bring the site down for the festivities….. but we ain’t covering shit. That’s it for this week, make sure you tune in to Monday’s Binge Cast as we’re having the reunion to end all reunions. That’s right, Mega Cast is back!
P.S. How does this guy in the video below not get his ass kicked every 3 seconds?
Kupka
August 1, 2014 @ 1:22 pm
I could drop $20,000 in The Lego Store in about 45 secs.