Friday Night Law: What Makes Law Tick

On July 25, 2014 by Moreno

People ask me a lot, “Law what makes you tick?  What are some of your favourite things?  Why are you drunk?”  It’s been a while since I wrote aboot a few of my favourite things in the world.  And I figured what better time than after my vacation and before I go back to fuckhole work and watch 94 movies in two days.   If you’re looking to buy me shit for Boxing Day, take note.



I fucking love me some Alexander Keith’s.  It’s beer, and it’s cold and that’s the only thing I need in my face in the summer.  Best of all, it’s Canadian.  Like me.  I’m Canadian.  When I’m not drinking the Keith’s, a good ginger beer holds me over until I get more Keith’s.  It’s gingery, and it’s beer.  Labatt Blue?  If ya got it.  Corona?  Fuck off.  Beer is at the top of the list.  Beer also goes good with….



Oh pizza?  Oh pizza be my shit!  Just look at that melted cheese.  It’s like a pizza cake.  Serve me pizza cake for my birthday and fuck right off.  One time Moreno and I drove up to Montreal and ate pizza for like three days straight.  Moreno wore wifebeaters and we yelled “Shia Lebouf” at French Canadian strippers all night.  Fucking Mexicanish.  Pizza is my favourite shit yo!  Every time I go to Chicago (stay tuned for Jim Lawlapalooza 2014) I make Moreno take me to get Giordano’s stuffed pizza.  Here’s what I love about pizza:  dough, cheese, sauce.  That’s the kinda shit I’m talking aboot.  That be my shit!



You’ve seen my Pixar collection right?  You should. Deal with it.  I like Pixar.  Nothing geeks me oot more than Pixar.  That and pizza.  And beer.  Fuck off.  I’m drunk.



Farts fucking rule, eh?  Fucking love me some farts.  Mine anyway.  Nothing I like more than farting in a room, and leaving as someone enters.  It’s like I detonated a fart, Rambo style.  If I had a hit 70s song, it’d be called, “Don’t Go Breaking My Fart”.  That shit would rock oot the charts.  Way back in the day they called me “Achy Breaky Fart” and I farted on everyone.  I’m drunk.

Law oot.

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