Review: Jamesy Boy
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There’s a lot of things that can take me out of a film from the get-go. The wrong snacks. Bad previews. Sharting. When it came down to watching JAMESY BOY I had none of these issues. I was completely in tune with my obligation as a film reviewer and totally prepared for anything. Then the main character showed his smug face and I hated this movie. There are moments that followed that swayed my opinion on the dude but, for the most part, I couldn’t stand anything about this kid and his “gangsta life”.
And that’s the BIG problem here, I’ve never heard of James Burns and his real-life issues. The farther I got into this movie made me wonder why there was a movie made about him. James (Spencer Lofranco) is a dirtbag, no doubt, but is he anywhere near the level of dirtbag that warrants a film being made about his life transformation? No. Hell no. He gets into fights. He gets kicked out of schools. He ignores his mother’s (Mary-Louise Parker) constant display of support and love. He joins a gang. He gets caught doing stupid shit with his stupid gun and his stupid mouth. Simply put, he’s a stupid kid that deserves basically everything that happens to him.
So there I am, with absolutely no connection to our Justin Bieber wanna-be lead character, and I’m trying to get myself involved with other aspects of the film. Specifically, the presence of James Woods and Ving Rhames should be able to pull this all together, right? Not really. Woods is a hard-assed correctional officer lieutenant that basically hates when stuff happens on his watch. Rhames is the mysterious inmate with a notorious legend. Neither get to steal any scenes. Rhames actually barely stands up during the film. I would say 8% of his screen time is spent not sitting down, reading, or brooding. Tarissa Farmiga (from American Horror Story) shows up as a love interest of sorts for James and leaves me wondering what women see in losers like this every time they spend time together.
JAMESY BOY is supposed to be one of those “kid with a good heart gets in with the wrong crowd” type films but lacks any compassion for the lead pretty boy. His life wasn’t that bad. He makes it bad by making ridiculously stupid decisions and trying to act tough. Why do I care if a kid like this is taken off the streets? I don’t. The other message driven home here is that our troubled youth can turn things around and make a life for themselves. It’s a fine message but when delivered through poetry, finally taking your mom’s advice, and not being a douchbag – you hardly deserve a standing ovation.
I’m happy for James Burns and I’m glad he’s turned his life around but I’m going to forget about him the second I finish this review. Good luck.
Rating: 3/10