The 10 Most Important TV Deaths of 2013
Welcome to the most spoilerific spoil-fest that was ever spoiled for you. Seriously, there be spoilers below, if you’re not up to date on any of these shows (The Walking Dead, Homeland, Sons of Anarchy, Dexter, Game of Thrones, Boardwalk Empire, Breaking Bad) just leave now. And slap yourself.
I’m surprised there’s not a trendy name for this wave of killing off main characters in television. It seems if you have a hit television show nowadays you have to delete at least one major player per year to keep things interesting. I wonder if ‘Happy Days’ would have done even better if they had killed the older brother instead of just forcing us to forget about him. ‘M.A.S.H.’ pulled this shit off before you were born and it went off like a shart in church. Today’s television is different though. It’s all about keeping the audience guessing and truly making us believe that nobody is safe anymore, even Emmy winners. Let’s take a look at the past year’s fallen and how they contributed to the golden years of the small screen.
DISHONORABLE MENTION: Brian – FAMILY GUY
I had this as a legit entry for about three weeks. That’s as long as Brian remained dead. The easy thing about killing off cartoon characters is that you can just pencil them back in when you figure out you made a stupid mistake. I didn’t really expect an animated network show to have the balls to pull off something like this. Poop to Seth MacFarlane for proving me right.
HONORABLE MENTION: Deb – DEXTER
It was really, really hard to write “honorable” and “Dexter” in the same title but if anybody on this show deserves some respect, it’s Deb. Everything else about this season was pure garbage. Having Dexter survive the storm of the century was one final kick to the nards in a long line of nard kicking. And to think, a few seasons ago, this show had one of the greatest deaths of all time. Literally, from that moment on, this show has never been the same.
10. The Governor – THE WALKING DEAD
It’s hard to rank this exit any higher as everybody knew his reign of terror had to come to an end at some point. Still, it sure was fun to see, and watching the end of one of television’s greatest villains is always must see. Just a note, the next major villain to come across the survivors makes The Governor look like one of the Brady Bunch. Peter, to be specific.
9. Clay – SONS OF ANARCHY
Any other season and this fights for the top spot on the list. This season, however, Clay felt like a burden to the story. There’s so much going on with the club, and the transgender family drama, and the ice cream shop, and Robocop, and Bobby’s huge penis that it was way too easy to forget about Clay’s giant cranium rotting away in prison. So when he gets out and looks as if he might complicate things more – just shoot him in the neck. Works for me.
8. Catelyn – GAME OF THRONES
Personally, this death might have rocked me more than any other here. As for the impact on the show, she just happened to be there. The Red Wedding was set up to kill Rob (we’ll get there) and Catelyn might have even made it out alive had she not lost her shit and started killing people of her own. If I do this list at the end of 2014 it might strictly be filled with ‘Game of Thrones’ characters. Hold on to your butts.
7. Harrow – BOARDWALK EMPIRE
His death matters less to the future of the show than what he did immediately before it. Accidentally killing Chalky’s daughter is going to be the last ingredient of the shit-storm that will most definitely touch down next season. What truly sucks here is that Harrow was the one dude you could feel morally justified in pulling for on this show. You sympathized for him, you admired his badassery, you kind of cringed every time he looked into the camera, and now you get to mourn for him. Get over it.
6. Hershel – THE WALKING DEAD
This one is going to be felt for a while by the survivors. His daughters are going to be a mess, Rick is going to take back the reigns, and nobody is going to have a voice of reason to turn to in times of desperate need. This will all lead to chaos and the eventual end of the world. Way to go get your head lopped off, Hershel. Seriously though, this is going to lead to an interesting dynamic to this story when comparing it to the comic book. In the book it was Tyreese that was beheaded. His alpha male role was soon replaced with Abraham, another fantastic character from the book. Now the TV show will house both characters at the same time. Fighty.
5. Tara – SONS OF ANARCHY
Who knows where this is going to lead other than a sure-bet clusterfuck of a finale. Jax might get arrested early but there’s no doubt the majority of the next season will be him finding out who did this and why. Does that mean he’s going to shoot his mom in the neck on the last episode? Probably, but I expect 90% of the rest of the cast to go down before her.
4. Brody – HOMELAND
The importance of this death works two ways. 1) It’s the only reasonable ending to this arc. Brody was an enemy to everybody in the world by the end. He literally had no country to run to. It was either spend the rest of his life in Carrie’s closet or accept his demise. 2) Now what the hell do they do? If it ended forever after this moment I’d have no choice but to deem it a great overall show. While it lost it’s way in the middle, the entire first season and the last half of this past season were fantastic television. Now they have to continue without their Emmy award winning lead and introduce an equally interesting storyline to keep us glued. I think I’m already out.
3. Hank – BREAKING BAD
I almost switched this pick with the one below it. One (I) could argue that Hank’s death set the stage for Walt’s. Without one you might not have the other. And while Walt does eventually pay the ultimate price, I think it’s Hank’s murder that convinces him to set everything right in the end and take his fall gracefully. I look at it like this – Hank’s death stung a lot. Walt’s made me feel warm an fuzzy. I was wearing a onesie.
2. Walt – BREAKING BAD
In the end though, what is, arguably, the greatest television show ever without a definitive stamp on it’s ending (fuck you, Sopranos)? As I said in the last paragraph, Hank’s death inspired Walt to scrounge up just enough more bad-ass to leave this world with a bang and take any and all that deserved it with him. You can rank this moment where you want on your own list but I hope we can all agree it was a fitting end to something special.
1. Rob – GAME OF THRONES
Simply put, I know what’s to come, which is why I know the importance of losing the King in the North. And without spoiling anything about the next season, The Red Wedding will not be forgotten. This next season of ‘Game of Thrones’ is going to be epic and untouched by anything else on the small screen. Probably even the big screen. Winter, bitches.