Breaking Bad is Ruining Television

Every second that goes by on Breaking Bad in these final eight episodes inches it closer to being crowned The Greatest TV Show of All Time (if it already hasn’t been). So compact are these last remaining moments. There hasn’t been a single wasted frame. Every line of dialogue is seamlessly leading us to one of the most anticipated end games in the history of home entertainment. Even Marie has shit worth listening to. It’s all too much to handle. Literally. Fans of Breaking Bad, like myself, have developed an unhealthy obsession with the show that has led to a disinterest or  mistrust for anything else on television. Great shows are being buried by the phenomenon. Whether I deem it unjust doesn’t matter, I’m simply trying to make you aware of some other options before this magical joyride comes to a devastating halt. The end is near, friends. Have your remote ready.

Complain all you want about how overly dramatic and cringe-inducing sentimental The Newsroom can be. Fact is, I love this show. This second season has truly amped things up by focussing on one of the most compelling stories of recent memory. The Genoa plot with it’s war crimes and global cover-up is interesting enough but it’s how ACN goes about cracking the story wide open and the repercussions in running with it that keeps me glued to the screen. Scene after scene the antics of those in the newsroom are funny, smart, educational, heartbreaking, and downright intense. And all of this is highlighted by a cast of characters worth caring about. I don’t even watch my own local news. They’re all dicks.

By mid-week something weird happens. That’s around the time all the Breaking Bad theories have surfaced online. The internet becomes a giant Easter-egg hunt for those wanting to know why Skylar wore a yellow skirt or what was in Saul’s desk drawer and how it relates to episode 3 of season 2. It’s obsessive and stupid-awesome. I forget all about The Newsroom.

I forget how brilliant Jeff Daniels is as the confident-yet-vulnerable Will McAvoy. I forget how surprisingly impressive Olivia Munn is. Wow, is the dialogue always so witty and delightful? Jane Fonda is in this?!? Every week. Forgotten.

The Newsroom deserves much more attention that it’s getting. Remind me of this next week.

You’d think the slot following the final season of Breaking Bad on AMC would be a coveted one. The problem is the mixture of satisfaction and anticipation one might be experiencing immediately after BB. Think of it this way – You’ve just had unimaginable sex with the hottest woman on the planet in your apartment for the last hour. As she’s walking out the door she turns and says “That was nothing. Wait ’til next week.” Two minutes after she leaves, the slightly attractive new girl from across the hall invites herself in and proceeds to introduce herself for the next sixty minutes. You don’t hear this woman. She’s just there… making mouth-noise.

Unfair as it is, Low Winter Sun is that second woman. It’s a shame too, as this is a pretty great show. I hoarded the first three episodes and made some time for them this past Wednesday. I can’t believe I hadn’t heard of this show. At all. Go on the internet late Sunday night and the “Walt this” and Jesse that” starts immediately and doesn’t seem to stop until the next episode starts. A couple things connect with me when it comes to LWS. 1. It’s easy comparison to The Shield, one of my favorite cop shows to ever grace the small-screen and, 2. It takes place in Detroit, and more importantly, makes mention of my home town (Windsor, ON) more than a few times. When you live where I live, this is a big deal. Hannibal Lecter once travelled through Windsor in the novel, Hannibal. I literally put the book down after I read this and called my mother to talk about it. True story.

Mark Strong. Lennie James, and scenes taking place fifteen minutes away from where I live. Why was this not on my radar? Because Hank figured out who Heisenberg is and nothing else matters. That’s why.

If Walt, Jesse, and Hank didn’t exist there would be no contest as to who my favorite character on television is. Ray Donovan (Liev Schreiber) is a man that gets shit done. Whether it’s that dead hooker in your bed in the morning or the video of you giving head to a tranny in a bathroom stall, Ray will fix it for you. If there’s enough time left in the day he’ll hatch a plan to murder his own father, handle the lump sum of cash his brother got from the church for getting molested by a priest, and scare the holy hell out of the punk wanna-be rapper across the street that’s rubbing up on his daughter’s boobies. There are many layers to Ray Donovan, and when peeled back, they all reveal a unique version of badassery.

The cult of Heisenberg laugh at it all. Ray is just a rookie when it comes to saving his own ass. What’s that, Ray? you had to blackmail n FBI into framing another FBI agent who is hot on your trail for a murder that took place years ago? That’s cute. Heisenberg had to almost murder his partner’s girlfriend’s son in order to convince said partner to explode their boss’ face in a nursing home because he’s too tremendous at making meth. Trumped.

Fair enough, but I still say there’s room for another great character on TV. Get acquainted with him now and you’ll thank me after Heisenberg hangs up his hat for good and Ray comes back next year wearing the unified belt. The belt of Badass.

Poor Dexter. What should be a celebrated retirement tour has turned into nothing more than an awkward nod of the head and silent slip through the back door, pathetic and unnoticed. This fall from grace is hardly Breaking Bad’s fault however. Sure, it’s comical comparing the two shows at this point but Dexter forgot how to Dexter all on it’s own a long time ago. Breaking Bad is just making it easier to let go. For proof you have to go no further than the latest episode. As I considered my approach to writing this article and half-heartedly waded through the latest instalment of “The Drama Formerly Known as Dexter” I had a short burst of obnoxious laughter when the scene below appeared.

Was this just a coincidence? An homage? A ploy by the producers to distract fans of Breaking Bad and have them lose all interest in the scene because they were trying to find the Br and the Ba in the background? If that was the plan, it worked. Any fan of Walter White’s magical circus has no idea what was said between Deb and Dexter here because we were playing the game forced upon us.

Dexter is guilty of one of the biggest mistakes in television history. After making an incredible comeback in season 4 (season 3 was a huge drop-off from seasons 1 & 2) they prematurely killed off the one of the greatest villains on TV. Had Dex let Trinity go at the end of the season and then found his wife in the tub they could have milked the manhunt for at least two or three more years and went out with a memorable bang. Instead we’ve got four mediocre (at best) seasons of boredom. It’s the golden era of cable television’s version of jumping the shark.