9 Celebrity Siblings That Got The Short End of The Stick

I had an older brother I lived in the shadow of and who I constantly tried to emulate while growing up.  I can’t imagine how much more of a dickhead he would’ve been if he were a famous actor or director.  For these celebs, it may not be all looks, but talent as well.  Here’s 9 famous celebs who got the short end of the stick..

1. Ron and Clint Howard

You know what Clint Howard is saying in this pic?  “Jesus fucking Christ, another Happy Days question.”  Clint Howard isn’t a complete loss though, Brother Ron tosses him in all his films, and at this point in his career, he’s become somewhat of a mascot for films.  Any time he shows up in a movie, I’m stoked.  Because I know there’s still hope for me in Hollywood.

2.  Zooey and Emily Deschanel

You might think, “What the fuck, dude, Emily is totally hot.”  She’s attractive.  But here, the Bones star looks like she’s had one too many tacos and hot sauce.  This one isn’t so much talent or looks, but popularity.  Bones is a pretty successful show, but the success in film, music, TV and geek culture has Zooey trumping Emily’s piddly little Fox show.  Sister Cat Fight?  #GIMMEDAT

3.  Dennis and Randy Quaid

One is a bonefied Hollywood star for 30 years, and continues to keep his status relevant by continuing to star in interesting projects, and hooking up with young blonde models.  The other is a crazy looking asshole who thought Independence Day was a documentary.

 4.  John and Jim Belushi

John Belushi is Chicago royalty.  Jim Belushi is Chicago parody.  We get it, Bears and wings and the blues and shit.  John Belushi is comedy royalty.  Watching According to Jim is comedy persecution.  The forced set ups, the mugging to the camera, the laugh track, it’s all horrendous.  He didn’t even get called for Blues Brothers 2000.  That’s saying something.  Like he probably gave B.B. King diabetes. If such a thing exists.

5.  Jerry and Charlie O’Connell

I don’t even know what the fuck is going on in this picture.  Am I THAT drunk that there are TWO Jerry O’Connells in this photo?  One thing I always love is when a famous person brings their sibling along for the ride.  Because why wouldn’t you, unless he’s Tarantino in From Dusk til Dawn.  I went to look up Charlie O’Connell’s IMDB page and in the trivia it said, “Rebecca Romijn’s Brother in Law”.  We gotta work on your credits, Charlie.  I’m just jealous that I don’t have a butt chin.

6.  Brad and Doug Pitt 

Your brother is Brad Pitt.  End of story.  Perhaps if you were Jerry O’Connell’s brother or some shit you can ride it out, but when you’re Brad Pitt’s regular dude brother, you can’t even follow that.  I mean, Doug Pitt is a handsome dude…if you’re judging him by regular dude standards.  You know how horrible I’d be if my brother was Brad Pitt?  “Yeah, I’m visiting Brad and my sister in law in France next week.”  So much tail.

7.  Mary Kate & Ashley and Elizabeth Olson

Look at this shit.  Two of these chicks are all, “Ima put on a weird expression so you can see my cheekbones and how little I eat,” and then the cutie all the way to the right is like, “Ima just be nice and cute and star in movies my two troll sisters never could.”  Elizabeth Olsen proves that a whole embryo is a lot cuter than a split one.  I need to go throw up after writing that.

8.  Justin Bieber and his little brother, Not Justin Bieber

Check out this kid.  HE even hates Justin Bieber.  He’s got his sleeves pulled up, a nice old school 50’s haircut, and he looks like he’s not taking shit from anybody.  Especially his older sister.  Somebody should break it to this kid that his older sister is IN FACT an older brother, because this kid looks like he’s gonna fuck someone up.  Little Not Justin Bieber….short end of the stick.  Sorry bro.

9.  Kardashian Broads, their father (RIP) and step father

Okay, not technically a sibling but I DO WHAT I WANT.  I swear I’m not even playing the cool card, I know Kim and her twat Mom.  That’s it.  I know there’s a giant monster sister, but I don’t see her there.  I think there’s Khloe too.  Or a Kurt?  I don’t know.  You know who got the short end of the stick here?  Robert Kardashian.  He didn’t get that E! money and he’s famous for supporting O.J. Simpson.  Bad move.  Then he died like an asshole.  Horrible move.  You know who also got the short end of the stick?  Bruce Jenner.  The men in the Kardashian hurricane get screwed.  We’re talking about a goddamn gold medal winner and nobody acknowledges it, but show his twatty step daughters looking at their iPhones and make millions.  Bruce Jenner, short end of the stick, pal.  At least you aren’t dead.

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