Game of Thrones (S3) Episode 6 review

On May 6, 2013 by Moreno


They’re really slow rolling Sam from a fat, bumbling loser to a SINGING fat, bumbling loser.  At this point in the books, Sam has already defeated a White Walker and garners so much respect amongst his black brothers, they take to calling him “Sam the Slayer” (more on book to TV comparisons later).  Sam and Craster’s daughter-wife Gilly are still making their way to the safety of The Wall.  I feel like we have no sense in direction where these characters (and others) are heading to and though the storyline eventually becomes something of importance down the line, here it seems like wasted time that could’ve been used on other characters.

Speaking of characters with seemingly no direction, Brandon Stark and his merry gang are once again chillin’ in the forest and going….where?  Do the majority of GoT viewers even remember what their mission is?  The show hasn’t spent all that much time with Bran, which is understandable since all he does is in Book 3 is travel the countryside on his way to The Wall.  I loved the back and forth with Meera and Osha over who skins the animal the best, but I have a thing for females who argue over who skins an animal the best.  I got my own shit going on, so let’s get past this, k?


“You’re a proper lover, Jon Snow.”

Aww shit!  Not only did Jon Snow get deflowered in episode 5 but this week we get a recap of just how well my man sheaths a sword and kisses dat fire.   Wildling bitches love when you kiss dat fire.  As they prepare to climb The Wall, the bastard and the wildling woman get a little serious after their playful back and forth, with Ygritte again dropping knowledge on Lord Snow’s lap about how their respective leaders don’t give a shit if either of them get killed, so they need to be loyal to each other.  “When it’s you and me, that matters to me and you.”  I fucking love their story arc in the book and they’re handling it pretty well, except for one part (more on that later).

Lady Melisandre makes a surprise visit to Arya and the Brotherhood Without Banners and we get a little bit of background when she and Thoros of Myr start jawing back and forth about what his original mission was when he first came to Westeros.  They both worship the Lord of Light but have varying levels of faith and different approaches to the religion.  Once again, I thought the religious discussion (like last week) gave better depth to the cause of the Brotherhood.  Had a big problem with Melisandre’s purpose and mission (taking Gendry captive) but that has to do with this storyline possibly being featured in books that haven’t even come out yet.  We’re getting dangerously close to TV GoT giving away how certain story arcs could possibly play out in future books.  I’m escare!


They’re climbing the goddamn wall!  Can someone find my balls for me?  They fell out of my butt.

In some of the smaller moments, Theon gets his little pinky tortured in a sadistic game of “Torture My Pinky”, The Young Wolf sits down with The Freys to make amends for going back on his word, Lady Olenna hilariously asks Tywin Lannister if he ever played with another dude’s taint, Tyrion and Cersei discuss the impact of their future marriages and Varys and Littlefinger discuss how each of their games are working out.  Which leads me to two of my biggest problems with this episode.


  1. The Chaos Montage – I am NOT a fan of montages.  And I felt GoT slipped into overly dramatic, run of the mill network TV schtick when Littlefinger talks about how chaos is a ladder and all that horseshit.  I shouldn’t say horseshit.  The monologue was very good, very Littlefinger-esque and was a decent enough way of reminding everyone where all these various characters stood in the overall story.  I initially HATED this montage but on a rewatch, understood its place and function, so now I’m okay with it.
  2. Top of the Wall to ya’ – They make it to the top of The Wall, completely exhausted.  Jon Snow pulls Ygritte to her feet and they look at the vast wasteland that is North of the Wall.  In a  sweeping 360 degree shot, the two embrace and kiss and remember that time when they banged in a cave or something.  PUUUUUKKKKEEEE!  We know they’re falling for each other, we get it.  We saw it last week and we see it this week when Ygritte lets on that she’s really into Jon Snow and need to look out for each other.  They’ve been handling their relationship perfectly, but to force the love angle with such dramatic flair and pomposity is completely overkill.


A decent enough episode this week, with its overall highlight being the climbing of The Wall.  Sadly, that was about all we get this week aside for more setting up of characters.

“Hey that didn’t happen in the books!”  (SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY)

Sam the Slayer – As mentioned earlier, Sam kills a wight, sends ravens back to Castle Black and manages to show more courage in the face of evil than any of his other brothers.  Here, he just smells of North of The Wall farts.

Osha vs Meera Reed – These characters aren’t even in the same forest at this point in the books.  In fact, when Winterfell is put to the torch (season 2, book 2), Maester Luwin instructs Osha to take Rickon Stark far from Bran, so that the Stark heirs can’t be captured at the same time.  Osha and Rickon and Shaggydog head off to parts unknown, Bran, Meera & Jojen Reed, Hodor and Summer all head to the Wall to meet the Three Eyed Crow, who Jojen has visions of Bran meeting.

Thoros and Melisandre – So far, these characters do not meet in the books.  Melisandre is still dutifully advising Stannnis, and Thoros is along with the Brotherwood ridding the countryside of outlaws and helping the small folk with coin and crops.  Even though it doesn’t exist, I absolutely loved this scene.

Theon and the Torturer – While it technically does happen in the books, this whole storyline doesn’t happen until book 5.  So for two books, we’re assuming Theon is dead until he shows up as “Reek”, a completely physically and psychologically broken version of himself.  He’s being tortured the whole time.  Pick a new game like “DON’T Torture My Pinky.”

Tywin and Lady Olenna – Being that neither of these characters are perspective narrators, this scene was completely made up for TV.  And I loved it.  Both are very interesting characters on paper, and to see the two of them battle wits was one of the highlights of this episode.

Varys and Littlefinger – These two can jaw at each other for a whole hour and I’d be happy.  Like above, neither are perspective characters, but are very important in the whole “Game”, both running their own version for their own personal gain.

Favorite Moment of the Episode:

GotAryakill GotRoz

It was subtle, but when Arya mentions that she’s hit her target in the face, tits and balls, later in the episode we see King Joffrey Baratheon’s satisfied expression as he’s killed Roz (Littlefinger’s Madame) with an arrow to the face, tits, and snatch area.  Amongst other areas.

5 Responses to “Game of Thrones (S3) Episode 6 review”

  • D_Luis

    You forgot to mention that there’s no Khalessi in this episode!

  • Floyd

    I always thought they called him Sam the Slayer mockingly, are they actually impressed by him?

    • The other brothers, no. But Grenn, Pyp and Jon Snow are legitimately impressed, especially Jon.

  • TommyBoy1107

    “We’re getting dangerously close to TV GoT giving away how certain story arcs could possibly play out in future books. I’m escare!” – fn crackin up over here dude these GoT reviews are friggin HILARIOUS